Time To Go
by DowntonDreamer
Summary: Just a story that I have been working on, hope you all enjoy it. Thanks in advance for reading :) Nothing belongs to me.
1. Tears Will Flow

_Hello Everyone,_

 _Firstly I wanted to thank all the new followers, comments and people adding me to their faves list, it's still very much appreciated and always will be. I can't thank you enough for all your support also, it means the world to me._

 _Secondly, I am back with a new short story. I have been working on this for a while now, and decided I'm going to post this one and see how it goes from there, hopefully it will go well but we shall see. It's been a good while since I wrote anything, so I apologise now if there are any mistakes._

 _Anyway, hope those who read this story will enjoy it. Thanks in advance for taking the time to do so :)_

 _Anyhoo, here it goes..._

 **Chapter 1: Tears Will Flow.**

Hearing a knock on her office door, Queen Clarisse looked up from the stack of paperwork that lay before her on her desk. She couldn't get her head around the fact this was something that would normally be done by this time of the day, but ever since her best friend and personal body guard handed in his notice she found it hard to concentrate.

"Mother?" Pierre, said softly after a moment and watched as she slowly looked up. "Shall I get the door?"

Nodding, she found herself putting her pen down on the desk and slipping off her glasses "Yes please, Pierre." She said giving him a small smile. "Thank you!" She added as she watched him walk over to the door "It will probably be Joseph, I asked him to come after lunch." She said standing to her feet as Pierre looked back at her.

"Do you want me to leave you?" He asked, opening the door.

"Ahh hello young man, is your Mother here?" Joseph asked, with a smile.

"Yes." Pierre nodded and looked back towards his Mother as she made her way around her desk, coming to a stop in front of it.

"You may go, you can finish your home work later on." Clarisse said while watching him nod and make his way out her office. Clasping her hands together she looked back up at Joseph as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Please?" She said, motioning towards the sofa.

"Thank you." Joseph nodded with a small smile, making his way over to take a seat. "Now, what can I do for you?"

Watching him as he sat, Clarisse took a deep breath and sat beside him. "This is a long shot... but is there anything that I could say, or do.. that would make you stay?" She asked, knowing somehow his mind was made up and in a few days he will be gone.

Looking down to find the right words, he clasped his hands together and slowly shook his head "I'm sorry, there isn't anything." He said, looking back up at her and watched as she slowly nodded and looked down. "My mind is made up, I'm sorry."

"I understand." She said looking up at him "What will I do without you, you are my only friend around here." She said, sadly.

"Oh come on, that's not true. You have Rupert, your Sons and what about Charlotte?" He asked, and watched as she tucked one ankle behind the other.

"Of course Rupert is my friend, but he's a different kind of friend." She started, "The boys are at that age where they don't really want to be spending time with their parents. And Charlotte she's.. she's, well she's new around here..." She said looking up at him "They all don't understand me like you do," Standing up she made her way around the sofa, and over to the window. Watching the boys playing out on the Palace grounds as Joseph watched her. "You've been there for me ever since I came here, a stranger in a strange place. You were there when I had my boys, there for me whenever Rupert was away on Royal business and accompanied us on many family holidays. Stayed with me while Rupert was off doing sports with the boys." She said slowly turning around, looking over at him as he stood up. "I trust you with my life."

"I know," He nodded "I'm so sorry." He said walking around to her.

Shaking her head as Joseph stood in front of her, "Oh don't listen to me, I'm just sad that you are leaving, being selfish I guess."

"This isn't goodbye you know?" He asked "I will return one day, but for now I have to do this." He said and watched as she let out a sad sigh and nodded.

"I know," She said nodding again "Ok, tell me what are your plans?" She said forcing a smile and walked back over to her desk, sitting back down.

"I plan on travelling, seeing family I haven't seen in many years." He said walking over, standing in front of her desk.

"That sounds lovely," Clarisse smiled up at him as someone knocked on her office door "Come." She called out and looked towards the door as Joseph turned, seeing who entered.

"Here you are," King Rupert smiled. "I wondered if you wanted to take a walk?" He said walking over to her desk, and looked at Joseph "Oh I do apologise, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything?" He asked, looking between them both. "Should I go?" He said looking back at Clarisse.

"No no, it's ok." She said looking up at Joseph "Can we continue this later?" She asked, standing to her feet as Joseph nodded.

"I have to get back to work anyway." He said giving her a smile then looked back at his King, "Take care of her when I'm gone, Your Highness." He said.

"Of course I will," He nodded as Clarisse made her way around to them "But please, how long have we known each other? Call me by my name, not my title." Rupert said smiling.

"If it's ok with you, I would still prefer to call you by your title, rather than your name." Joseph answered, watching his King.

"If that's what you are comfortable with, then that's ok too." Rupert smiled and looked back at Clarisse. "Shall we go?" He asked, extending his arm towards the door.

Nodding, she led the way as Rupert followed. She couldn't help but wonder why Joseph was more comfortable calling her by her first name, but not his King. Shrugging it off, she turned back to Rupert and caught sight of Joseph stood watching them leave her office.

 _ **Later that evening.**_

Rupert stood to the steps of the gazebo watching his Queen, he was surprised that he managed to get where he was now without her noticing. Stepping up the steps he slipped his hands in his pants pockets and lent back against the post.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked, watching her come from her day dream and look towards him in surprise.

Smiling she shook her head "It's nothing important." She answered, and patted the space beside her "How long have you been there?" She asked and watched as he made his way over.

"Not very long." He said, sitting beside her and saw why she sat day dreaming. "Beautiful sunset." He said, looking back at her.

"Yes, this is the perfect spot for a beautiful sunset." She said looking at him "How was your afternoon?" She asked, looking back out at the sunset.

"It was busy," He answered, looking away for a moment "What about yours?" He asked, though an answer never came. "Is it because Joseph's leaving?" He asked as she looked back at him.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Ever since he handed in his notice you've been in an odd mood, like you're not really here." He said and watched as she looked back out at the sunset quietly.

Finally, moments later "He's my best friend." She said, looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"I know." He simply answered and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she finally let her tears fall.

~~~~~

 _So? Was it good, or bad? Should I continue or not? I really do hope that you liked this, but will understand if you don't, just let me know and I won't post chapter two._

 _Feeling really nervous now..._


	2. This Isn't Goodbye

_Wow, what can I say? Thank you all so much for reading and leaving those amazing reviews :) I appreciate it all, thank you!_

 _I hope this one answers that question you are all wondering?_

 _Enjoy ;)_

 **Chapter 2: This Isn't Goodbye...**

Hearing the door opening, Rupert turned slightly in his seat as he sipped his morning tea to see Clarisse, his beautiful wife emerge from their bedroom. Placing his cup down he couldn't help but smile as she made her way over to the breakfast table.

"Good morning," He said as he grabbed a napkin and wiped his lips.

"Good morning," She said back while taking a seat.

"I am going to be out of town most of the day, are you going to be ok?" He asked as he watched her sip her tea. "I know you've been feeling unwell lately, and if you wanted me to stay then I will."

Shaking her head, she placed her cup back down "No no, it's ok.. you go and do what you need to do." She said looking up at him "I am feeling much better and plan on going out riding with Philippe later this afternoon." She said and placed a napkin over her lap before picking up her cup as Rupert watched.

After a moments silence, and after watching her he nodded. "Alright." He said sitting back and placed his hands on the table in front of him "So today's the day."

Looking at the cup in her hand momentarily before nodding in agreement "Yes it is." She answered sadly and looked across the table at him "But it will be fine."

"Of course it will be," He answered sipping some more of his tea. "You will see him again soon, that I'm sure off."

"You're right... What time do you think you will be home?" She asked and sipped some more of her tea, trying to change the subject.

"I'm not sure." He answered and wiped his mouth with his napkin again before standing to his feet "It depends when the meeting finishes."

"Ok." She answered and watched as he made his way around to her.

"I will see you later," He said leaning closer and kissed her goodbye "And remember, it will be ok." He whispered and kissed her again before standing to leave.

"Thank you, I love you." She said as he made his way over to the main doors to their suite.

"I love you too, beautiful." He smiled over at her as she gave him a small smile in return.

As he left, she had to admit to herself that even though they had been married going on 17 years, he could still make her heart skip a beat with that smile.

Walking into her office later that morning, Clarisse stopped in her tracks when she saw Charlotte quickly stand to her feet and hurry over to the desk to finish arranging her paperwork.

"Charlotte, what's wrong, are you ok?" Clarisse asked as she stepped a little more into the room and closed the door behind her.

"It's nothing Your Majesty, I'm sorry." She said hurriedly, unable to look at her Queen as she began walking over to her desk.

Standing behind the desk, she looked up at Charlotte "Have you been crying?" She asked, while placing her cup down.

Stopping, Charlotte looked down at the tissue in her hands "Yes, Your Majesty." She answered, too scared to look up. "I'm so sorry, it won't happen again."

"It doesn't matter..." She said softly "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked and watched as Charlotte slowly looked up.

Taking a deep breath, "Joseph's doing his rounds and saying goodbye to everyone, and even though we haven't known each other that long when I came here he made me feel welcome, at home and.. and," She said getting teary again "Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's ok," She nodded "I understand."

"You do?" Charlotte said in surprised, then scolded herself for saying such a stupid thing. "Of course you would, I remember you told me he done the same with you when you first came here." Nodding a little as she looked down at her hands "Forgive me, Your Majesty."

"Forgive you?" Clarisse asked and watched as Charlotte looked up at her "Whatever for?"

But just as Charlotte was about to answer, a knock came to the door. "Do you want me to get that?" Charlotte answered.

"No," Shaking her head, she stood to her feet and walked around to her "I think you need to go and take a break." She said while standing in front of her.

"But.." She started but stopped when Clarisse put her hand up to stop her.

"Please go and take a break, I can manage." She said with a smile and nod.

"Thank you." She said and watched as she made her way back around her desk.

"Come." Clarisse called out and looked back at Charlotte "Go, it will be fine." She smiled as Charlotte nodded and made her way over to the door as Rupert entered the room. "Well," Clarisse exclaimed as she checked her watch "You are back early." She smiled and noticed the flowers in his arms.

"Yes I am," He smiled "And I wondered, to take your mind of everything if you'd like to have lunch with me?" He asked, handing her the flowers as she stood to her feet.

"That would be nice," She said taking the flowers "Thank you." She smiled walking around to him as Rupert extended his arm to her, wrapping it around her waist and kissed her cheek before watching her smell the flowers.

 **Later that afternoon.**

"Thank you," Clarisse smiled at the stable boy as she passed him her riding hat and reins to her horse, Ace. "We better head back, it's nearly time for dinner." She said as she turned to look at Philippe.

"Ok," He nodded, passing his hat to the stable boy. "Thank you." He added and began walking away with his Mother. "Hey look, it's Joe!" He said looking towards the Palace "Is he leaving?" He asked as he began running towards him.

Clarisse stood watching for a moment as Joseph closed the trunk of his car and walked around to the drivers door, opening it as Philippe called out his name. After several more seconds she made her way over to them.

"Joseph was just leaving, Mother." Philippe said looking up at her as she stood beside him.

"I can see." She nodded, looking down at him "Go and wash up for dinner."

"Ok," Philippe nodded and began walking towards the Palace.

"Tell Isobel I will be there in a few minutes." She called after him.

"Ok." Philippe called back and hurried off inside as Clarisse looked back at Joseph.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" She said, studying his face.

"Clarisse, I..." He began but stopped and looked down, trying to find the right words.

"Everyone else gets a goodbye but me? After all we've been through, after all the years we've been friends and you couldn't even say goodbye? Does our friendship mean nothing to you, like it does me?" Clarisse asked, feeling hurt as Joseph looked back up into her eyes.

"Of course it does, it means the world to me... It's just, saying goodbye to you is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do." He answered.

Watching him, she shook her head a little "Then let me save you from it now." She said and started walking away, heading towards the palace.

"Clarisse..." He called after her, but watched as she carried on walking away, broken.

After getting ready for dinner, Clarisse entered her suite with a sigh when she noticed an envelope sat on the table.

"Isobel?" She called as she made her way over to the table, realizing that it had her name on the front and that it was Joseph's handwriting.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Isobel asked from the doorway leading to the bedroom.

Slowly she turned and looked over at her maid for several seconds before answering "Never mind, it's ok." She said.

"Ok." Isobel smiled "Do you need anything else, Your Majesty?"

Shaking her head Clarisse looked back over at her "No, not tonight." She smiled.

Saying there good nights, Isobel left her alone as she made her way over to the window and opened the envelope. Unfolding the letter, she began reading.

 _Clarisse,_

 _I wish writing letters was easy, I have wrote so many and never ever gave them to you. They sit in a box, remaining unread. Probably the fate of this one too, as you see.. I can not bring myself to ever give them to you. Why I write them I don't know..._

 _Today I gave you my notice, I didn't want to and it broke my heart having too, but it's the best way. I have talked to my brother about all these feelings I'm feeling, and his reply was if it were true then I should leave, or I would only be playing with fire._

 _You see, I have feelings for you. Have done ever since I first set eyes on you, yes you are my best friend and always will be, but thats how it needs to stay. You are a married woman, a Mother, a Queen, my Queen and that's how it needs to stay. These feelings I will take with me to my grave, as in the words of my brother you are 'forbidden territory' maybe not the best way to put it, but he's right. You belong to the King, and you must never know how I feel as it will just ruin everything._

 _I love you, Clarisse, and that's why I must go, you must never know._

Lifting her head, she looked out the window blankly for a moment before folding the letter back up and putting it back in the envelope.

A short time later she headed down to dinner, where she sat lost in thought, playing with her food as her husband and sons talked amongst themselves. And eventually she pushed her plate away, sipping her water.

"Are you ok, dear?" Rupert asked, causing Clarisse to look up to see all three of them looking at her.

"I'm sorry?" She asked while placing her glass back down, missing the question.

"I asked if you were ok?" He asked again "You've hardly touched your dinner."

"Actually I feel a little unwell again, may I be excused?" She asked.

"Of course." Rupert nodded and watched as she stood to her feet. "Go and get some rest, I will be up in a while." He said as she made her way around to him.

"There's no rush, spend some time with the boys." She said and kissed his cheek "Goodnight, boys." She said, kissing their cheeks and walked out.

Heading up to the suite, she walked through the door just as lightening lit up the room. And after getting changed she walked over, sitting on the window seat as she wrapped her arms around her legs and looked out the window watching the rain hit the window and the lightening light up the sky.

Not long after, as Clarisse remained looking out the window, the phone began to ring. Hearing the beep, she looked over into the darkness of the room when she heard Joseph's voice.

"Hi, I know that you are down with your family right now but I wanted to call and apologize for the way I left things earlier... I should of said a proper goodbye, but couldn't... You're my best friend, how can I say goodbye? When it's not really a goodbye? Some day I will return..."

Hearing the line go dead, Clarisse slowly turned her head and looked back out the window for several more moments before standing up and slowly walked over to the phone. Reaching out she pressed the play button, followed by the delete button.

 _So, what did you think? Did it answer the question? LOL Let me know :) And thanks for reading x_


	3. Heartache

_Thank you all so much for reading, and leaving reviews. You have no idea how much that means to me, thank you so much :)_

 _This one comes with a tissue warning, I'm sorry._

~~~~

 **Chapter 3: Heartache**

Several months have passed since Joseph left the Palace, and they've just celebrated Christmas at the winter Palace, returning home yesterday. This was the first Christmas without Joseph being present, and it felt odd for everyone. Especially Clarisse, who can't get that day out of her mind, replaying it over and over.

After having breakfast and getting ready, she headed down to her office. Walking through the door, she stopped when she heard two young maids talking as they made the office ready for her arrival.

"And Pierre said to Philippe, well I guess I will have to give up my room for the baby and will have to share with you again, as I know they will want to have it for the nursery." She said while looking at the other maid.

"And what did Philippe say?" Asked the other maid.

"Do you enjoy gossiping about the family you work for?" Clarisse asked, watching them as they jumped and spun around to look at her. "What are you doing in here?"

"Getting your office ready, and no Your Majesty... we are..." She drifted off as she watched Clarisse look over her shoulder at the person walking up behind her, then step aside.

"Girls, what are you doing in here?" Charlotte asked as she walked in the office carrying a tea tray.

"Getting the office ready for Her Majesty." Answered one girl as Charlotte placed the tray down on Clarisse's desk.

"And," Clarisse started as they all looked at her "Gossiping about the family." She said walking over to her desk "Thank you, Charlotte." She said then looked over at the girls "You may go." She said and watched them curtsey then leave, closing the door behind them.

Looking back at her Queen, Charlotte watched as she poured herself a cup of tea then sit down "Did you have a nice break, Your Majesty?"

"Yes it was quiet," Clarisse nodded and looked up at her assistant. "What about you?" She asked and sipped her tea.

"It was busy," She answered with a chuckle "But was nice spending time with my family." She smiled over at her "I must say though, it is good to be back at work." She said walking over to the table.

"Yes, indeed." She smiled a little and watched Charlotte turn back around to her "So what is the plan today?" She asked and slipped on her glasses.

"Not very much I'm afraid, I'm under strict orders by the King not to let you do much." Charlotte said as she made her way back over to the table.

"Oh he did now, did he?" She asked while looking up at Charlotte as she nodded "Oh well..." She said looking around her desk, then at the pile in Charlotte's arms "What's those?" She asked, pointing to them.

"The mail from the last two weeks," Charlotte answered as she looked down at it, then back up at her Queen.

"Well I guess I best go through that then." She said, patting her desk to where Charlotte should stack them. "Thank you, Charlotte."

"It's no trouble." Charlotte smiled, placing them down then stepped back "I just have to arrange a couple things, but I will be straight back... Unless you need me for anything else?" She asked, as Clarisse looked over at her.

"No no, I don't need anything."

"Ok, I will be back shortly." Charlotte said as she made her way over to the door.

"Charlotte?" Clarisse exclaimed while taking of her glasses and watched as Charlotte turned back to her.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Charlotte asked, putting her hands together.

"I wondered, have you heard from Joseph at all?" She asked, resting her arm down on the table, her glasses still in her hand.

"I haven't personally, but the security team have." She said while looking down at her hands for several seconds before looking back up at her.

"And, how is he?" She asked.

"He's doing well," She nodded a little "He got engaged at Christmas." Charlotte answered, seeing the hurt in her eyes. "Maybe theres a card in that stack for you?" She said, trying to be positive.

"Oh I doubt there will be," She began while shaking her head a little "I guess it's my own fault really, I should of answered his calls." She said putting her glasses back on and took a deep breath.

"You never know." Charlotte nodded as Clarisse looked back up at her.

"That is true." She said forcing a smile, and watched as Charlotte smiled before leaving the room. Once she was alone, Clarisse looked at the pile for several moments before making a start on reading them.

And a short time later, there was a knock at the door. Raising her head, she looked over and removed her glasses "Come." She called out, and watched as the new head of security guy stepped in.

"I wonder if you have a moment, Your Majesty?" He asked.

"Of course," Clarisse nodded, welcome for a break from all the mail. "Please come in." She said, motioning towards a chair in front of her desk as he entered the room, closing the door behind him. "I hope everything is ok?" She asked.

Making his way over to the desk, he chose to stand in front of the desk. "Of course, it's nothing to worry about." He nodded.

"Then what do I owe this pleasure?" She asked and watched as he extended his arm out to her.

"I have been asked to give this to you, and that I was to give it you personally." He answered, watching as she extended her arm and took the envelope.

"Who's it from..." She asked as she looked at it, seeing just her name wrote on the front "Ah!" She said quietly when she realized herself who it was from. Looking up at him "You've seen him?" She asked.

"No," He answered, shaking his head "He sent it with a letter for me, asking to give it you." He said and watched as she looked back down at it.

"Ok, thank you." She nodded and looked back up at him "Thank you, that will be all... unless there was anything else?" She asked.

"No there's nothing else," He shook his head and made his way over to the door. "If you need anything, just call." He added while looking back over at her.

"Thank you." She offered a smile and watched him leave.

Deciding to read it later on, and to tackle the rest of the mail first, she slipped the letter in her drawer. But before she had a chance to start, another knock came to her door.

"Come?" Clarisse called out and watched as Rupert entered the room.

"Here you are," He smiled as he made his way over to her as she stood to her feet. "What have you been up to?" He asked.

"Going through all the mail from the last two weeks." She smiled as she walked around to him. "I thought you had left already." She said while taking his hands in hers and kissed his cheek.

"I am about to leave in a few moments, but wanted to check on my beautiful wife first." He smiled down at her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, taking her hands with his. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"I am just perfect, please stop worrying." She said while looking up into his eyes.

"I can't help it." He smiled.

"I wonder, have you heard the news about Joseph?" She asked while letting go of his hands, placing hers on his arms.

"What, about him being engaged?" He asked and watched as she nodded. "Yes I was shocked, but happy for him too."

"So am I." She nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry he didn't tell you himself." He whispered softly and kissed her forehead.

"Mother, Father.." Pierre called from the door, causing both of them to look over. "Me and Philippe are off riding now."

"Wait a minute boys, I need to talk with you." Clarisse said while stepping back as both Pierre and Philippe came into her office, closing the door behind them.

"What's the matter?" Rupert asked as he watched Clarisse motion for the boys to sit down in front of her desk.

"I heard a little 'gossip' this morning," She said while standing in front of her desk and looked at both boys as they looked at each other.

"You did?" Pierre asked while looking back up at his Mother.

"Yes I did," She said while sitting on the edge of the desk. "I just wanted to check and make sure it was true."

"What gossip is that then boys?" Rupert asked while standing beside Clarisse as she put her hands down on the edge of the desk.

"That me and Philippe was talking about the baby and the maid heard us...?" He asked and watched as Clarisse slowly nodded.

"You did what?" Rupert exclaimed. "I thought we told you to be quiet once we returned?"

"You did, and we are very sorry." Pierre exclaimed while looking up at his parents "We won't do it again."

"We are sorry, Mother, Father." Philippe said looking between them both.

"Just please be more careful about what you say in future," Clarisse said looking at Philippe, then at Pierre. "And no, Pierre, you will not have to give up your room. We live in a Palace remember? There are plenty of other rooms that will become the nursery." She said, giving him a small smile "So please don't think you will have to give up your room to share with Philippe."

"Ok." He nodded "Again, I'm sorry Mother."

"It's ok," She smiled and motioned for them to stand "Do I get a hug, or are you past that now?" She asked, and was surprised to actually get a hug from Pierre. "Wow, I am surprised." She laughed a little as he stepped back with a blush "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She smiled.

"Thank you." Pierre said, still blushing as Philippe gave her a quick hug.

"Ok, you can both go now." She smiled and watched as they both rushed out the room.

"God, I love you." Rupert exclaimed as he stood in front of Clarisse and put his hands up cupping her face.

"Good, as I love you too." She smiled and closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead before wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Are you going to be ok while I'm gone?" He asked, pulling his head back to look into her beautiful eyes.

"I will be, don't worry, please?" She said.

"Ok, I can't help it." He said stepping back "But I will try my hardest not too." He said and bent over, kissing her tummy. "I love you." He smiled as he stood back up, and kissed her on the lips.

"See you later." Clarisse smiled and watched him walk out, closing the door behind himself.

 **Later that evening.**

It's amazing just how quickly someones life can change, earlier today Rupert left happy and ready for the day. He has a beautiful wife, two handsome sons and a baby on the way. All day his family was on his mind, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have such an amazing, beautiful family. However, upon his return to the Palace he learned that Clarisse had been rushed to hospital. Causing him to rush to the hospital, wanting to be by her side. Standing at the door, seeing Clarisse laying on the bed her back to the door, his heart broke. He wasn't sure if she was awake or a sleep, and soon he would find out. Slowly he entered the room, closing the door as quietly as he could before turning back to her.

"Clarisse, my love." He said softly as he made his way around to her.

"Rupert?" Opening her eyes, she looked up at him "I...I..."

"Shh, it's ok.. the Doctor told me." Rupert said softly as Clarisse closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and opened her eyes, looking up at him as he moved a chair closer, sitting down close to her. Taking her hands in his, he brought them up to his lips as he closed his eyes, shutting a couple stray tears out.

"Please don't be sorry," He said opening his eyes, and with one hand keeping hold of hers, he placed the other up on her head, brushing her hair back gently "It's one of those things..." He said softly, his heart breaking as she looked up at him. "I shouldn't of left you today."

"Even if you had of stayed, it wouldn't of changed anything." She said, tears escaping her eyes. "This would of still happened."

"Shh it's ok, my love." He whispered and lowered his head, resting his head gently on hers as he gave her hand a small squeeze.

"I feel like I failed you," She whispered and watched him raise her head.

"You could never fail me..."

"We've been trying ever since Philippe was two, you always wanted to have another baby and I finally was able to give you that and then this..." She said crying "I failed you, I'm so sorry."

"You could never fail me, and you never will. I have you, and our two very handsome sons, that's enough for me." He said softly while brushing her hair back. "I have my family." He said kissing her forehead before wrapping his arm around her back, giving her a hug. "It will all be ok, you'll see."


	4. Going Home

_Thanks again to everyone reading and leaving reviews :) you're the best!_

 _I'm sorry this one comes with a tissue warning also, I'm so sorry._

~~~~

 **Chapter 4: Going Home**

 _Verona, Italy._

Getting some toast and coffee, Joseph made his way back into the bedroom, where his new bride lay fast asleep. Setting down he turned on the television and straight to the news channel, like he does every morning. Only this morning it brought some unexpected news.

 _Genovia._

Clarisse lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling, trying to get her head around the last few days. Covering her face with her hands, her body shaking as she sobbed hard into her hands.

 _"Rupert, are you nearly ready?" Clarisse called from the suite door. "The car is ready, well it has been for the last 20 minute's," She said entering the suite a little more "Rupert?" She called out, her heart starting to race as she started feeling a little uneasy. "Rupert?" She called again as she made her way over to the bedroom door._

 _And there, her whole life changed. Rushing to his aid as he lay motionless on the floor, her whole world crashing down around her as she tried to wake him._

After that she has no memory of what happened, just what her assistant, Charlotte, has told her. She had managed to pull her away, so the guards could do CPR until the ambulance arrived, but it was no good. When they arrived, they tried their best, to no avail.

How she managed to arrange the funeral, she would never know. But today is the day that she will say goodbye to her husband, and the boys their Father.

After getting ready with the help of her maid and Charlotte, she headed down stairs. Stopping half way down as she saw one of the guards getting the door, accepting more flowers from yet another mourner of Genovia.

"Your Majesty?" Charlotte said softly, looking up the stairs where she had stood for the last few minutes. "Shall we get you to the lounge, maybe get you some tea?" She asked, hurrying up the stairs with one of the guards.

Pierre stood at the top of the stairs, watching Charlotte and the guard heading up to Clarisse. "Mother..." He said, making his way down to them. Standing beside her, he watched as she turned her head to look at him "It will be ok, we will be ok." He said, knowing how hard it had hit her. "Let's go and get you some tea," He added as they began their way slowly down the stairs and into the lounge as Charlotte hurried to get some tea.

Returning moments later, she placed the tray down and left Pierre and Clarisse alone. She stood at the door for several seconds, watching them both as they talked quietly to themselves before stepping out the room, closing the door behind her. Heading to find Robert, head of security in the security office.

"Robert?" She said as she came to stand in the doorway, causing him to look up from the desk "Is there any news on Joseph?" She asked.

"Not yet, I have left him several messages but so far I haven't heard anything back." He said watching as she sighed. "She will be ok, won't she?" He asked.

"I don't know." She answered while looking over at him, tears pricking her eyes at the thought.

 _ **Early that afternoon.**_

Leaving the Palace in the car behind a horse drawn carriage, Clarisse clung to Pierre's hand with one hand, her other arm wrapped around Philippe, who clung to her. Arriving at the church a short time later, the same church where they we're married and held both boys Christenings.

After the beautiful service, everyone gathered around Rupert's grave site. All saying a prayer and giving their Queen and two Princes some time. Then everyone watched as Clarisse stepped forward, placing one single white rose on top of his coffin. "Until we meet again, my love." She whispered softly as the tears fell.

"Mother?" Philippe whispered softly as he stood beside her.

Looking at him, she wrapped her arm around his shoulders and kissed the side of his head as he began crying. Lifting her head she saw Pierre stand the other side of his brother, reaching out Clarisse took hold of his hand, causing him to look up at her.

"You gave a beautiful speech in there, darling." She said softly "Thank you," She whispered as a couple tears escaped her eyes. "I love you both so much." She said holding Philippe close and giving Pierre's hand a small squeeze.

As one of Rupert's favorite hymns played, the crowd started to disappear, giving the Royals some space.

 _They say there's a place where dreams have all gone_  
 _They never said where but I think I know_  
 _It's miles through the night just over the dawn_  
 _On the road that will take me home_

 _I know in my bones, I've been here before_  
 _The ground feels the same though the land's been torn_  
 _I've a long way to go the stars tell me so_  
 _On this road that will take me home_

 _Love waits for me 'round the bend, leads me endlessly on_  
 _Surely sorrows shall find their end and all our troubles will be gone_  
 _And I'll know what I've lost and all that I've won_  
 _When the road finally takes me home_

 _And when I pass by, don't lead me astray_  
 _Don't try to stop me, don't stand in my way_  
 _I'm bound for the hills where cool waters flow_  
 _On this road that will take me home_

 _Love waits for me 'round the bend, leads me endlessly on_  
 _Surely sorrows shall find their end and all our troubles will be gone_  
 _And we'll know what we've lost and all that we've won_  
 _When this road finally takes me home_

 _I'm going home._

After a few moments Clarisse and the boys began walking away, both the boys heads down as Clarisse kept hers up. Looking towards the cars she stopped, the boys taking a few more steps before they realized their Mother hand stopped.

"Mother?" Pierre said, looking back at her to see her staring. Looking to where she was staring, he gasped.

Looking towards the cars, Philippe gasped too.

"Joseph." Clarisse said quietly as he began his way down to them. When he reached them, Clarisse burst into tears once again, causing Joseph to step closer and wrap his arms around her.

"I've come home." He whispered, just enough for only her to hear.

~~~~

 _The song words included in this chapter belong to the song Going Home by Mary Fahl. It's an amazing song, and thought the words fitted so well for this chapter. If you haven't heard this song yet, you should it's so beautiful. :)_

 _The song and words, do_ _ **NOT**_ _belong to me._


	5. You still have us, remember?

_Thank you everyone for reading, and to those leaving reviews. The support is very much appreciated, Thank you :)_

 **Chapter 5: You still have us, remember?**

 ** _The Following Day._**

Knocking on her bedroom door, Joseph stood back and waited. When he didn't get a reply he began to worry, so trying the door with a deep breath he was surprised to find it unlocked. Pushing it open he saw her, the one he had loved for many years and the one who buried her husband only yesterday lying on the bed, her back to the door. As he stepped into the room he noticed that she was still wearing the same black suit as yesterday and that the curtains remained opened, and surprisingly an open bottle of whiskey on her bedside table. Seeing this, his heart broke for his Queen.

Knowing that she rarely ever drank, he lifted the bottle to see how much was missing. "What are you doing?" Came a voice, causing him to jump a little.

Looking down at the bed beside him, he saw Clarisse wide awake and watched as she flung her legs over the edge of the bed, moving to a sitting position. "I came to make sure you were ok, I did knock..." He said placing the bottle back down.

"Yes well, am I not allowed any privacy anymore?" She asked, looking at him with a mascara stained face. Looking down at his hand as he removed it from the bottle "And to answer your next question, I didn't have any." She said standing to her feet. "I was going to, but I just ended up crying myself to sleep." She added as she made her way over to the bathroom door, closing it behind herself.

When she came out a short time later, she saw a breakfast tray on the bed. Doing up her robe she made her way over to it, picking up the note, she quietly read it to herself. "Because you have to eat, and I'm sorry for invading your privacy. Joseph." Looking back at the tray, she gently dropped the note and walked away.

Meanwhile downstairs, Joseph was catching up with the security team and making sure that everything was to plan and up to date.

"Joseph?" Came a small voice, and watched as he slowly turned to him.

"Philippe," He said walking away from the men and over to him "Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yes, but is Mother? Have you seen her this morning?" He asked, his eyes sad.

"Yes I saw her first thing, she's ok." He said looking down at him.

"She will get over this, won't she?" He asked while looking down.

"She will, in time." He answered and watched as he slowly looked back up at him.

"Where were you when she needed you?" Philippe asked, both unaware that Pierre was stood at the top of the stairs.

"I went travelling, and to see my family." Joseph answered, looking him in the eyes.

"She needed you, I thought you were her friend." Philippe said looking up at him as Pierre began his way down the stairs.

"Did you know that she lost a baby last year?" Pierre asked, causing both Joseph and Philippe to look up at him.

"Boys, come on.." Came the voice of Mary, Clarisse's Mother as she walked into the foyer. "Leave him be." She added as she stood beside Joseph "Your Grandfather would like to talk with you both, he's out in the garden. Why don't you go and see him?" She added and watched as they both looked at each other then walked out to see him.

Turning back to Mary, Joseph watched as she turned and looked at him "Is that true?" He asked.

"Yes," She said while nodding "Both her and Rupert were heartbroken, and I know she could of done with you, but she understood your absence." She added and watched as he slowly looked down.

"I had no idea." Joseph said with a shake of his head and looked back up at her.

"Well why would you, when no one knew where you were?" She asked and walked away before he could answer.

 ** _Later That Evening._**

Sitting in her suite, Clarisse had not long opened the card that Joseph had asked Robert to pass on to her the Christmas before last. She had completely forgot about it until only this morning, and was sad to see that there was no mention what so ever about him being Engaged. Just a simply Merry Christmas.

Hearing a knock at the door a short time later, she quickly folded it and slipped it down the side of the chair she was sat in. "Come in." She called out and watched as Pierre and Philippe entered the room. "Hello boys,"

"Hello Mother," Philippe said as he made his way over to her. "We just came to say goodnight." He added as he sat down beside her.

"Already?" She asked, checking the time before putting her hand up onto her forehead "Forgive me boys, this day has passed in a blur."

"It's ok, Mother." Pierre said and watched as she lowered her hand, looking across at him. "We understand." He added.

"Do you really?" She asked, putting her arm around Philippe. "You both understand that things are going to get tougher now, don't you?" She asked, causing both boys to look at her. "You're both still so young, how would you understand this." She said closing her eyes, a couple tears escaping.

"Mother, it's ok." Philippe said as he turned, wrapping his arms around her.

"And yes Mother, we may be young but we are old enough to understand. I'm nearly sixteen and Philippe is nearly thirteen. We both understand what's going on, and what's to come." He said passing her the box of tissues from the coffee table in front of them. "It will be ok, we will be ok."

Taking a tissue, Clarisse couldn't believe how brave he was being. "Your Father would be so proud of you, well he was, is proud of you." She added while looking between them "He was so very proud of you both." She whispered as she began to sob "We both are."

"We know," Pierre said and watched as Philippe gave her a hug. "And it will be ok Mother, I promise." He added, watching as Philippe sat back and Clarisse looking down at the tissue in her hands. "You still have us, remember?"

"I know," She nodded and looked up at them "I'm so blessed to have you both, you are my world." Knowing what the future holds for them all, she took a deep breath and continued. "I will make mistakes in the future and I know that you will forgive me, I may be away a lot more, and I know that you will forgive me," She added, looking at Pierre then at Philippe "And I know when I am away, or even home, you will both look out for each other." Letting out a sad sigh "As now it's just us three, I can't always be here when you need me to be." She added, beginning to cry once again.

"It's ok, Mother." Pierre said and moved to sit the other side of her "I'm the man of the house now, I will protect you."

"Thank you, darling." Clarisse whispered, as they all embraced into a hug "I love you both so much, and please please remember that your Father loved you just as much and always will." She said sadly, and closed her eyes to stop more tears.

"We know, we love him too and always will." Pierre said softly as Clarisse looked over at him, giving him a small smile.

"It's time for bed, boys." Clarisse said and wiped her eyes.

"I love you, Mother." Pierre nodded and kissed her cheek before standing to his feet. "Goodnight."

"I love you too, Mother." Philippe said and kissed her other cheek "Goodnight."

"See you in the morning," Pierre said as he and Philippe began walking over to the door.

"Yes you will." Clarisse nodded and watched as they walked out the door, closing it behind themselves.

Moments later Clarisse pulled herself out the chair and walked through to the bedroom. Staring at the bed for several moments before she slowly walked over and climbed in, and curled up on Ruperts side of the bed where she cried herself to sleep.


	6. Truth Be Told

_Thank you everyone for reading, and to those leaving reviews. The support is very much appreciated, Thank you :)_

 **Chapter 6: Truth Be Told.**

It's been one month since they said goodbye to Rupert. Everyone is trying to get back to normal, even Clarisse, who's life changed completely after her husbands passing. It's been a long blurry month for her, who suddenly found herself as soul ruler of Genovia. Sure she had Royal duties before, but now everything, and everyone depended on her.

Standing behind her desk, somewhere she hadn't been in what feels like years, Clarisse took everything in as her assistant, Charlotte, and the Prime Minister stood watching her. Slowly her gaze fell upon a family picture that sat on her desk, reaching for it a moment later. Slowly she ran her fingers over the glass, getting a little teary as she stared at her husband. "This is for you." She whispered and slowly closed her eyes.

Giving her a moment, Charlotte and Prime Minister Andrews stepped back. Talking quietly to each other as Clarisse sat holding the picture close to her heart for several moments before placing it back on her desk. Taking a deep breath she looked over at Charlotte and Andrews.

Seeing her looking towards them, Andrews stepped closer "Are you sure that you're ready to do this now? Maybe a little more time perhaps?" He asked and watched as she shook her head.

"No, I need to do this now. I have to get back into it at some point, and I would rather it be sooner, rather than later." She said and watched as he nodded.

"I understand," He said and looked back at Charlotte "Maybe you could bring us some tea?" He asked and watched as she nodded.

"Thank you, Charlotte." Clarisse said as Charlotte made her way out the office.

"Just take things slowly, Your Majesty." Andrews said as he sat opposite her "And remember, I am here if you need anything." He added.

"Thank you." Clarisse nodded "It just feels odd... I'm sure I will get back into it soon enough." She said, looking up at him.

"You will, in time." He nodded and watched as she gazed upon the family photo again. "When you are ready, we will begin." He said and watched as Clarisse looked up at him.

Moments later Charlotte brought them tea, then left them to go over things alone, but didn't go far just in case she was needed.

 _ **Later that morning.**_

"Charlotte?" Came a voice, causing her to look up.

"Hi there, Joseph." Charlotte smiled and looked back down. "What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Have you seen Her Highness?" He asked and watched as she looked back up.

"Yes, well a little while ago. She's taken a walk with the boys, why?" She asked.

"As the Kings lawyer has just arrived." He answered and watched as Charlotte stood to her feet.

"Oh, should I go and find her?" Charlotte exclaimed.

"No no," He started with a shake of the head "She needs time with the boys, I'm sure he will understand." Joseph said, making his way back over to the door "When she returns however, can you inform her?" He asked.

"Of course." Charlotte nodded.

"Thank you." He called back as he left the room, but just as he did he saw Clarisse disappear into her office. Hurrying over, he knocked and slowly pushed open the door. "Clarisse?"

Hearing his voice, she stopped what she was doing and slowly turned around. "Yes."

"How did it go this morning?" He asked, hoping it went well.

"Well it went as well as expected." She answered and removed her coat. "Was there anything else?" She asked while putting her coat over her arm.

"Yes," He nodded "The Kings lawyer is here, he needs to see you." He said and watched as her face fell.

"I see." She nodded while turning her head away slightly "Can you..." She started while taking a few steps "Can you please send him in then?" She asked and hung up her coat.

"Of course, would you like Charlotte to bring tea?" He asked as she moved and sat behind her desk.

"Um... Yes please." She nodded and looked over at him.

"You're welcome." He nodded slightly and left, pulling up the door after himself.

Walking over he fetched the Kings lawyer, sending him in to her before finding Charlotte to arrange tea for the pair. And a short time later, Clarisse and the lawyer emgered from her office. After seeing him off, she turned to Charlotte.

"Is everything alright, Your Majesty?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes..." Clarisse nodded "I am going for a walk, I wish not to be disturbed."

"As you wish, Your Majesty." Charlotte answered and watched as she walked out the front doors, disappearing down the stairs moments later.

Slipping her hands in her coat pockets, Clarisse began her walk away from the Palace. The grounds were huge, she knew where she was going to end up and she couldn't wait to reach it.. all she wanted was to get away from the Palace, where she could read the letter that was given to her by her husbands lawyer in peace.

Reaching her goal, the summer house that lay hidden deep in the woods of the Palace grounds. The place that she and Rupert often walked to, to just be alone together, and a place she now often visited alone to feel close to her husband. As she sat on the bench in the front, she held the letter in her hands and just stared at it for a few moments, before finally opening it. And as she slowly unfolded the letter, a familiar letter fell onto her lap. Looking down at it, her heart started racing when she realized it was the one she had found that Joseph had wrote.

Leaving it where it fell, Clarisse lifted her gaze and looked at the letter in her hands. And taking a deep breath, unsure of what it will say she began to read.

 _Dear Clarisse,_

 _If you are reading this, then you would have seen the other letter that I wrapped in this one. I'm not mad, I wonder all the time why you hid it from me however... I also wondered why he did leave, and now I know. I'm not sure how you felt when you read this letter from Joseph, of even if you did read it? If you haven't, then you should because then this letter would make much more sense._

 _I often thought about what would happen if I was to go first, we have been married for some amazing years and I want you to know that I treasure our time together. Thank you so much for putting up with me, the man who changed your life so much. I know you wasn't keen on the idea of becoming Queen, but thank you for staying and getting on with it, as you would say. You took to it so well, and made a beautiful Queen, my beautiful Queen. Anyway, back to the point.. if and when the time came, and yes I know when we talked about this topic you refused to listen, but darling, if the time ever did come I would want you to move on and remarry._

 _And after reading the letter from Joseph, I want you to know that I approve. I know he would look after you, and I know that you trust him with your life and that he would make an amazing husband. I know he will look after the boys too. You probably hate me now, but please think about it... I wouldn't want you to be alone, find someone who cares and who would love you just as much as I did. And I know Joseph would be that person, you have my blessing._

 _I love you, Clarisse. Please don't you ever forget that!_

 _All my love, R xx_

Folding up the letter, Clarisse realized that she was crying. Tipping her head back, she looked up into the tree tops, looking for any sign of the sky through the branches and asked Why?

 _ **Later that evening.**_

After returning to the Palace, Clarisse retired to her suite, where she remained for the rest of her day. And after having a soak in the bath, she came through into the bedroom to hear voices coming from the suite. Walking over, she made them out to be the gossiping maids. She was about to turn away, not caring what they had to gossip about this time, however, when she heard Joseph's name she stopped.

 _"Yeah, I heard he got married a week before he came back here."_

 _"What? Who told you?"_

 _"Robert did, her name is Amy..."_

 _"Wait, isn't that the name of the lady who was here the other day?"_

 _"Uh huh."_

Stepping back, Clarisse couldn't believe what she was hearing. And after she knew the girls had left, she made a call. Pacing the room as she waited and when that knock came to her suite door, she jumped and spun around.

"Come." She called out.

Entering the room, Robert looked up to see Clarisse stood beside the couch, her hand resting on the back, staring across at him "You called for me, Your Majesty?" He said, closing the door behind him as his heart began racing.

"Yes, please..." She said, motioning for him to come further into the room.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, scared what the answer might be.

"I need to ask you something, and please answer me honestly." She said, and watched as he nodded.

"I will try." He answered and turned his head just slightly as he watched her close her eyes while putting her hands together, as if she was praying. "Your Majesty?" He asked.

Slowly she opened her eyes and looked over at him. "Is Joseph..." She said lowering her hands "Is Joseph married?" She asked and watched as he looked down at the floor. "I take that as a yes then." She said a moment later.

Looking up, he saw the hurt in her eyes "I'm sorry Your Majesty."

"Is her name Amy? And was she in the Palace the other day." She asked, seeing it in his eyes. "I see."

"I'm sorry... I thought..." He stopped, to scared to go on.

"You thought what?" She asked "You thought I would've known this, right?"

"Well yeah," He said with a slight shrug "I'm so sorry." He added.

"Please don't be, you have nothing to be sorry about." She said "But thank you for being honest."

"Your welcome, Your Majesty." He added and began walking towards the door.

"Robert?" She called out and watched as he turned to face her "Please not a word to Joseph."

"I won't say a word, I promise." He said and watched as she turned to the window. Taking a deep breath he left, bumping into Charlotte as he pulled the door closed. "I wouldn't go in there yet," He said and started walking away.

"Why?" Charlotte asked and watched as he stopped and turned back to her.

"She's just found out about Joseph and Amy." He said and watched as her face fell.


	7. I Can't Trust You Anymore

_Thank you everyone for reading and leaving reviews, it's very much appreciated thank you._

 _Heres the next part, sorry it took so long._

 _I'm sorry in advance if there are any mistakes, this chapter had already been written out and I did try to check it before posting, but my mind is all over the place right now and couldn't focus. I wanted to post it today, as I'm not sure when I will have time._

 **xXxXx**

Chapter 7: I Can't Trust You Anymore.

The following morning.

Resting back into the pile of pillows that piled up against the headboard, Clarisse couldn't get her head around what Rupert had wrote. She had spent most of the night there, rereading the letter that was given to her yesterday over and over.

With a sad sigh she finally let her arm fall on the bed beside her, letter in hand, as she drifted of into a day dream, only coming too when a knock came to her door.

Seeing the door open, Clarisse looked over to see her maid enter while carrying a breakfast tray. "Isobel, I'm sorry I was meant to call down, I'm not feeling very hungry this morning."

Stopping beside the bed, Isobel looked at her Queen. "But you have to eat, Your Majesty." She said and placed the tray down on top of the bed. "I will leave it here, just in case you change your mind." She added and made her way over to the curtains, beginning to open them as Clarisse sat up and folded the letter, tucking it away.

"Very well." She said while looking over at her momentarily, watching her open the curtains before pushing the covers back and climbing from the bed.

"I will leave you while you eat, call down when you need me to return." Isobel said as she turned to Clarisse as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"There is no need," Clarisse answered and slowly looked up at her. "I can manage this morning, thank you."

"Are you sure, Your Majesty?" Asked Isobel as she walked over to the foot of the bed.

"Yes, quite." Clarisse nodded and stood to her feet.

"If that will be all then, Your Majesty?" Asked Isobel and watched as Clarisse nodded her answer.

"Thank you, Isobel." Clarisse said and watched her leave. When she heard the door close, she picked up her phone and dialed down to security.

"Good morning, Your Majesty." Cheered Robert "What can I do for you this morning?"

"Can you get a car ready for me, I have to go somewhere this morning." Asked Clarisse.

"Of course, I will have Joe..."

"NO!" Clarisse exclaimed, interrupting him "Not Joe..."

"Ok... Would you be happy for me to drive you?" He asked.

"Yes please, I will be very grateful." Clarisse answered "Also, can it be one of the other cars, I don't wish to be seen out in the limousine today." She asked.

"Of course, Your Majesty." Robert answered, nodding to himself.

"Thank you, Robert." Clarisse said.

"No problem, I will be waiting in the drive so come down whenever you are ready, Your Majesty." Robert said.

"Thank you." Clarisse answered and hung up.

After getting ready she headed down to find, true to his word, Robert waiting in the drive with one of the Royal Range Rovers. And once she was settled they left the Palace, arriving at the destination shortly after. Climbing from the car a moment later she slowly, as the gates closed, made her way to the front door. Seeing it open, she looked up to see her father stood waiting for her, causing her to stop.

"Is it true?" Clarisse asked, looking in her father, Nicolai's eyes.

"I'm so sorry." He answered and stepped back "Come in, I will make us some tea." He said and watched as Clarisse began walking towards him.

After making them tea, he placed Clarisse's cup on the table in front of her and sat down, placing his too on the table. And after several moments of silence, Nicolai looked towards Clarisse.

"I wondered when you would come and ask that question." He said, watching her "When did you find out?" He asked.

"Yesterday..." She answered as she placed her cup down, and looked across at him. "Have you known from the start?" She asked, wrapping her fingers around the cup on the table.

"We found out the day of Rupert's funeral." He answered and watched as she looked down. "Your Mother and I decided it was best to not say anything yet." He said and sipped some of his tea.

"Why did you decide that?" Clarisse asked while watching him put his cup back down before looking up at her.

"You had just lost your husband and it didn't seem fair to tell you that your sister had married your best friend." He answered, watching her.

"I see, and somehow can understand." She said, slumping back in her chair.

"I take it then that Joseph never told you?" He asked and watched as she shook her head while staring at her cup.

"I'm still waiting for him to tell me he was engaged." She said and looked up at him.

"Oh." He answered and watched as she lent over, grabbing some papers from her bag.

"I was given this letter from Rupert's lawyer yesterday." She said and slowly unfolded it "And there's also one in there that was left in my suite the day Joseph left, I am guessing it was found somewhere and was given to my maid to place for me." She said handing him the papers, and watched as he read them.

Moments later he looked up at her in surprise. "He loves you, so that's why he left?" He said and looked back down at them in his hands "I guess that would explain why he felt more comfortable calling you by your name, and couldn't Rupert." He said and watched as Clarisse looked at him "I just don't get why he couldn't tell you in person instead of writing it down, and the fact he couldn't tell you that he was engaged, and now married to your sister."

"I don't know." She answered with a shrug and sipped her tea "I wish I knew how long it had been going on, as then it may make a little more sense."

"Well Amy did tell us that they were together before he left the Palace, whether that's true or not I don't know." Nicolai answered and watched as Clarisse put her cup down. "And this is a surprise too that Rupert approves of him." He said looking back up at her. "What do you think about all of this?" He asked.

"Rupert had tried to talk to me about this before, he wanted me to remarry and move on if I found the right man. He didn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life, I hated talking to him about it, he knew this but I guess he wanted me to know his wishes." She said looking at him "I didn't know he had found the letter, to be honest I had forgot that I even had it, so that was a surprise to see that fall on my lap yesterday."

"And I would guess he approves of Joe, because you were friends for so long and trust him with your life. He knew that he would look after you and the boys?" He said and watched Clarisse as she nodded.

"I suppose you're right, I wonder why he didn't tell me either that he had found Joe's letter, and instead he done it like this." Clarisse said.

"We will never know." Nicolai answered and watched Clarisse a moment "Clarisse, sweetheart..." He said softly, causing her to look over at him "Do you love him too?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, no... oh I don't know..." Clarisse exclaimed "I saw the looks he would give me over the years, but I didn't really think anything of it, we were just friends. I never thought he would love me, and I will admit when I found this letter on my desk, it all clicked and I found myself thinking about him in a different way." She said looking down at her cup.

"And did you want anything to happen?" Nicolai asked.

"Oh god no!" Clarisse exclaimed "I would never do that, I was married to Rupert and I was brought up to know better." She said and looked across at her father.

"Ok, and do you still feel the same way?" He asked "Seeing him back here and all?"

"I don't know, but even if I did it doesn't matter now anyway as he's married to Amy." She answered and looked back down.

"That's true." Nicolai answered and watched as Clarisse remained looking at her cup.

After looking at her cup for several moments, taking everything in as she thought and then slowly looked over at her father "I miss Rupert so much, father." She said softly as tears pricked her eyes.

"Come here, sweetheart." Nicolai whispered and wrapped his arms around her as she lent into him, crying on his chest. "It will work itself out, but you need to think about this carefully." He added, feeling her nodding.

"I know." Clarisse answered tearfully.

Leaving the house not long after, making one more stop before returning to the Palace. And as Clarisse stood at the foot of Rupert's grave, Robert stood beside the car, keeping an eye on his Queen, but also giving her her space.

 _ **Later that afternoon.**_

Hearing a knock on her open door, Clarisse looked up to see Joseph stood looking over at her and Charlotte.

"That will be all for now, Charlotte." Clarisse said looking at her before looking down, tidying the papers on the table in front of her.

"Of course, Your Majesty." Charlotte answered, gathering up her bits and notes before walking out.

"Is everything ready for tomorrow?" Joseph asked, walking slowly over to the table where Clarisse stood.

"Yes, we just managed to get it all ready." Clarisse said and slowly looked up at him "What about security, are they ready?" She asked.

"Indeed we are," Joseph nodded "Actually talking about that, Robert informs me that you have requested he drive you and the boys to the church tomorrow?"

"Yes, as I feel that it would be better if you went on ahead to do security checks and do what you need to do there." She said as she held the papers in her hands, looking across at him.

"As you wish," He answered with a slight nod while watching her for a moment as she made her way over to her desk.

"I can trust that you will make it secure for me and the boys, can't I?" She asked while placing the papers down and looked back up at him.

"Of course you can, you know that." Joseph answered as he watched her place her hands on her desk in front of her and looked down.

"Well I don't know about this trust thing anymore..." Clarisse said, averting her gaze to his hand then up to his face. "Where's your ring?" She asked and watched as he lifted his hand, looking down at it for several seconds before looking back up at her.

"I..." He started as he watched Clarisse walking around to her drinks cabinet, pouring them a drink each.

Turning to him a moment later, she handed him his drink and held up her glass while making eye contact "I understand Congratulations are in order?" She said, watching as his face fell "Her name's Amy, isn't it?" She asked.

"I was going to tell you..." He said and watched as Clarisse clinked her glass with his.

"Congratulations to you both, I wish you both a life time of happiness." She said, giving him a forced smile before downing her drink.

"Clarisse, I..." He said as she looked over at him "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I wanted too but then..."

"But then what? Your best friends husband died so you decided not to? Well what about before, what about the engagement?" She said, looking into his eyes "It was Charlotte who told me, I'm still waiting for that person I trusted with my life, with my familys life and that person I called my best friend to tell me that he was engaged, or was it because the fact of the matter is you didn't tell me because of who the lucky lady was?" She stated.

"Yes, I should of told you from the start and I'm sorry I didn't." He said.

Staring at him for several seconds before shaking her head "I think you should leave." She said, slowly looking away.

"Fine, I will go and take a walk." He said starting to walk over to the door.

"No, I mean..." She started while looking over at him as he opened the door and turned back to her "I mean I want you to leave, I will give you a full months pay." She said.

"What?" He exclaimed as Charlotte and Robert appeared in the background. "Why?" He asked, letting go of the door handle.

"Why? You want to know why? You were meant to be my best friend Joseph, and you couldn't even tell me you were engaged to my sister, and you couldn't even tell me you were married to her." Clarisse exclaimed in anger.

"I didn't tell you because of Rupert's passing, it just didn't feel right." Joseph snapped.

"And what about all the chances before, while you were engaged? Or while you we're just together?" Clarisse asked and shook her head "I can't trust you anymore, Joseph." She said sadly while looking down "I will write a good reference, it will be ready for you by this evening."

"I'm not going anywhere until at least tomorrow evening, it's a big day. I can't go knowing that." He said and watched as she slowly looked up at him.

"Very well, but then once it's over, you go." Clarisse said, looking into his eyes.

"Very well." Joseph answered and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Trying to keep herself composed but failing within seconds, sinking into her chair in tears as Charlotte hurried in and over to her.

 _ **That evening.**_

After writing out Joseph's reference, Clarisse decided to have a relaxing bath, but before she had a chance to stand from her desk a knock came to her suite door.

"Come," Clarisse called out and licked the envelope, sealing it as Joseph entered. "Oh just in time for this," She said and stood up. "It's your reference." She added as she walked over to him.

"Thank you." Joseph said and took it, slipping it into his pocket.

"Before you say anything, I won't change my mind." She said and stepped back, clasping her hands together behind her.

"I know, I've known you long enough to know once you make up your mind, there's no changing it." He said looking around the room before looking at her. "I have made the arrangements for me to leave once you and the boys are back in the Palace tomorrow."

"Thank you." Clarisse nodded.

"Robert will take over again..."

"Good," Clarisse interrupted before he could say anything else. "There is one thing that I must ask..."

"Go on," Joseph answered and watched as she walked around to stand behind the sofa.

"Do you love her? Or did you just marry her because you couldn't have me?" She asked, looking into his eyes "Because you see..." She started and looked down as she pulled out the letter that was left in her suite. "This letter was left for me the day you left." She said holding it up and watched as he hurried around to her, snatching it from her hand.

Opening the letter to read it before screwing it up "How did you get this?" He snapped, looking up at her as she stepped back.

"I just told you, it was left in here for me. I saw it the evening you left, right before you called to leave a voice mail message." She snapped back.

"You got that message? You never called back." He asked.

"Yes I got the message, but I deleted it... I had just learned that you loved me, I was heartbroken that you left anyway, how do you think I felt reading that then hearing your voice?" She answered, continueing before he had chance to speak "You never answered my question?" She said and watched him look back down at the screwed up piece of paper in his hand "Did you marry her because you couldn't have me?" She asked once again.

"Yes!" He snapped back.

"So you don't love her?" She asked.

"I don't know," He shrugged and walked over to the window. "I tried to, I thought I did, we were happy for a while and then I heard the news about Rupert and knew I had to return to you." He said turning his head, looking over his shoulder at her as she stood watching him. "I have loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you, and yes I knew I could never have you or even tell you because you were married to Rupert... that's why I wrote everything down..." He said sadly while looking down at the paper in his hands once again "You were never meant to see these." He added while closing his eyes. "I will always love you." He said and felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to see Clarisse stood beside him.

Staring into his eyes for several seconds, getting caught up in the moment as she stepped forward, placing her hand up on his cheek as she pressed her lips to his. Deepening it at the feeling of his arms wrapping around her waist, holding her close. And seconds later, not feeling any movement she was surprised when she felt herself be pressed back against the window frame, waking her from her actions.

Pushing him back, she shook her head, ashamed of what just happened. "Clarisse?" Joseph whispered, still standing close. "What's the matter?" He asked, placing his hand on her side.

"No, this can't happen... that should never of happened." She said, not able to look up. Stepping to the side, setting herself free she walked away and over to the door. "You need to go," She said opening the door "Now!"

"But?" He said, walking over to her stood at the door.

"Please just go." She said looking at his face and watched as he nodded before walking out, not saying a word. Quickly closing the door behind him, she locked it and walked through to her bedroom where she remained for the rest of the night.


	8. Avoiding The Truth

_Thank you for reading and leaving reviews, I love them thank you :)_

xXxXx

 **Chapter 8: Avoiding The Truth.**

After getting no sleep that night, at a quater to six the following morning, Clarisse decided it was time to get up and ready for the long day ahead. After getting showered and ready she headed to have breakfast with Pierre and Philippe, something she hadn't done since before Rupert's passing.

And once they we're finished, and after making sure that they were okay, Clarisse headed down to her office, to do a final check on the plans for Rupert's memorial. But just as she was about to start going over everything, her office door swung open, causing her to look up quickly to see Amy stood looking at her.

"You can't just barge in without permission," Exclaimed Charlotte as she hurried in after her. "I'm so sorry, Your Majesty."

"No need to apologize," Clarisse said while looking at her momentarily before looking back at Amy. "You may go, Charlotte." She added as she slowly stood to her feet.

"Are you sure?" Charlotte asked in surprise while looking over at her as she made her way slowly around her desk, coming to stand in front of it.

"Yes," Clarisse nodded while looking over at Charlotte "I'm very sure." She nodded again then looked back over at Amy.

"Ok, Your Majesty." Charlotte answered and left, closing the door behind her.

"Amy?" Clarisse said softly, not really sure what she knows.

"What did you say to Joseph?" Amy asked "He called me yesterday about you letting him go, we talked about it last night. We we're leaving to start a fresh in England, but then this morning he's changed his mind and now wants to stay." She said.

"I didn't say anything to him." Clarisse answered.

"Is this going to be like before, when you stole my boyfriend from me?" Amy asked.

"I didn't steal him from you, Amy. He didn't love you... he told..."

"We we're together a year before he dumped me for you, a year Clarisse." Amy interrupted.

"He dumped you because he didn't love you anymore..."

"Did you love him while we we're together?" Amy asked, interrupting Clarisse again.

Slowly looking down for just a moment before shaking her head "No, no I didn't... I fell in love with him after you broke up." Clarisse answered and slowly looked back up at her sister. "I can promise you that."

"I don't believe you... there must of been something there." Amy exclaimed.

"There wasn't... After you broke up we ran into each other, he asked me to help him with college work and because we started spending more time together we fell in love, then before I knew it I found myself agreeing to the arranged marriage." Clarisse answered honestly as Amy watched her.

And after a moments silence, Amy moved to sit down on one of the chairs. "I guess it doesn't matter anyway, Joseph is going to leave me for you. Just like Rupert did." She said and held her head in her hands.

Watching Amy, Clarisse's heart broke. "Amy," She said softly and made her way over to her "Firstly, Rupert didn't leave you for me. And secondly, Joseph isn't going to leave you for me." She said, sitting down beside her as Amy raised her head and looked at her.

"You do know that I know he loves you, right?" Amy asked, seeing the surprised look on her face. "I think everyone knows that Joseph loves you." She added and looked down at her hands "Do you love him?"

Clarisse found herself shaking her head as she watched her sister slowly look back up at her. "No."

Studying her sister's face for just a moment before standing up "Good luck for today." Amy said and watched as Clarisse looked up at her.

"Thank you." Clarisse answered and watched as Amy left, closing the door behind her.

Slumping back in the chair, Clarisse took a deep breath and stayed sitting for several moments before getting back to checking the plans. And once she was finished she left her office in search of Charlotte, finding her in the security office with Robert.

"Your Majesty." Both Charlotte and Robert exclaimed as they quickly stood to their feet.

"Charlotte, Robert." Clarisse said giving them a small smile. "I wonder if any of you happen to know where Joseph is, or am I too late and he's left to do the security checks at the church already?" Clarisse asked and checked her watch.

"I'm afraid you're right, he left about half an hour ago." Robert said, sharing a quick look with Charlotte before they both looked back at Clarisse. "I can call him to come back if you need to talk with him."

"Oh no no, it can wait." Clarisse said, looking over at him "Thank you, I am going to go and get ready now."

"Of course, Your Majesty." Robert said and watched as she began walking out of the office "I will be waiting in the drive when you and the boys are ready." He said and watched as Clarisse stopped to look back at him.

"Thank you." Clarisse said and walked out, heading to her suite.

After getting ready, she came into the suite to find both Pierre and Philippe sat waiting for her, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"What are you both doing in here?" Clarisse asked, and continued walking over to the table.

"We wanted to wait for you up here, rather than downstairs." Pierre answered.

"Well thank you, boys." Clarisse said, giving them a smile.

"You look beautiful, Mother." Philippe said as he stood to his feet.

"Thank you, darling." Clarisse smiled over at him.

"How come you're wearing a tiara?" Pierre asked.

"Because it's tradition in the Royal line," Clarisse said while looking over at him "Your grandmother, great grandmother and great great grandmother all wore theirs to the memorial's for their husbands." She added.

"Is that the one you wore on your wedding day?" Philippe asked and watched as she looked over at him.

"Yes... yes it is." Clarisse answered and walked over to him, giving him a little hug before stepping back.

"After today, are we going to have to move?" Pierre asked, causing Clarisse to look at him in surprise.

"What make's you ask that?" Clarisse asked, looking at him.

"Friends at school are talking, saying that we will have to move." Philippe said as Pierre and Clarisse looked at him.

"Same here." Pierre said, looking at Clarisse.

"Would you like us to move?" Clarisse asked.

"No," Both Pierre and Philippe exclaimed.

"Then you have nothing to worry about," She said and moved to sit on the couch. "Today I could give up the throne, or I could continue being Queen." She said and watched as the boys moved to sit near her. "I guess I never talked to you about this, did I?" She asked and watched as they both shook their heads.

"Do you want to give it up?" Pierre asked.

"I did for a while after your father passed, but then I remember this is for you and your future. I will remain Queen until Pierre is old enough to take over. As of course you are Royal by blood, I'm only Royal by marriage." She said, looking between the boys. "Do you understand?" She asked.

"Yes." Both boys agreed and nodded.

"Okay," She answered and checked the time "Right, it's time to go." She added as she stood to her feet.

Leaving the Palace a few moments later, they all headed to the church where the memorial service was being held. When they arrived, Joseph opened the car door for them, walking them to their seats beside the Genovian prime minister.

After the eulogies we're given, and Clarisse informing her people that she would, for now, continue as their Queen, she and the boys stepped down. Knowing Joseph was stood behind her, she watched as the boys wondered of safely with the prime minister before turning to him.

"Can we take a walk, I need to talk to you?" She asked quietly and watched as he looked around while talking quietly into his mike.

"Of course," He said, extending his arm for her to lead the way. Watching her walk a head he took a deep breath and followed, unsure of what she had to say.

"I had a visit from Amy today." She started as she looked down at the floor as they began walking across the church yard.

"You did?" He asked, looking ahead as Clarisse looked up at him.

"She told me that you talked last night and agreed to start a fresh in England, but then this morning you had changed your mind. Why?" She asked, looking ahead.

"Because I would rather stay here," He said looking at her.

"But she's your wife..." She said and turned to take a seat on one of the church benchs, looking back at the church "You need to leave and make a go of your marriage..." She added and watched as Joseph sat down beside her.

"Alright, I will go if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me." Joseph said and watched as she shook her head while looking away. "You can't sit there and tell me you don't love me, there was something more in that kiss yesterday," He added and watched as she quickly looked back at him "Don't deny that you didn't feel the spark, I saw it in your eyes." He said quietly.

"There was nothing, I don't..." She started and found herself slumping against the back of the bench. "Rupert and I were married for 19 years, we went through a lot together, he was my best friend," She started while shaking her head "I forbid myself for admitting feelings for someone else so soon after his passing." She said and slowly looked up at Joseph as he watched her.

"So I was right, there is something there?" He asked, watching her look away.

"I don't know," She said quietly and looked down at her hands "But even if there was, it doesn't matter as you're married to Amy. And you need to leave and be a good husband to her, she already blames me for stealing her boyfriend, I don't want to be the blame for you staying."

"What do you mean?" He asked and watched as she looked back at him.

"She and Rupert we're an item for a year before he dumped her, because he didn't love her anymore. We started spending time together for college work after it happened and we fell in love, but for some reason she thinks we loved each other before they broke up. And ever since she found out me and Rupert we're married she blamed me for the break up." Clarisse answered.

"I see." Joseph said quietly.

"So you see," Clarisse said and stood to her feet "You have to go and make an amazing husband to her." Watching as Joseph stood in front of her "As I really don't want to get the blame for you staying here, you go and love her as much as you can." Clarisse said, trying not to cry. "I know you will make an amazing husband if I wasn't in the way."

"But it's you I love," He said and watched as she shook her head while taking steps back.

"I don't care... I can't..." She said softly and turned, hurrying away leaving him stood there.

 _ **Later that night.**_

After the events of the day Clarisse retired to her suite early, sitting on the window seat most of the evening as she thought about everything. Hearing a door closing she looked into the darkness of the room, but saw nothing so put it down to her mind playing tricks on her. Suddenly moments later, she heard the soft sounds of music playing. Slowly as she began to feel nervous, she stepped from the seat and took two steps forward.

"Who's there?" She called out, seeing a shadow in the darkness of the room.

"It's only me." Came a voice as he stepped from the dark.

"Joseph?" She asked "What are you doing here?" She asked, watching him walk slowly over to her.

"I came to say goodbye." He said, standing close to her.

"But..."

"Shh.." He interrupted "Dance with me." He whispered as the music played.

Looking up into his eyes, getting caught up in the moment she found herself stepping closer as he placed one arm around her waist, holding her close as he took her hand in his. "Does Amy know that you are here?" She asked, putting her arm around his shoulders.

"She knows I am at the Palace, getting a few last bits." He said as they began swaying slowly to the music.

"Ok." Clarisse answered quietly as she raised her head, looking into Joseph's eyes for several seconds before closing her eyes and turning her head away.

"If you want me to stay then I will stay, if you want me to go then I will go." Joseph said softly, and rested his cheek against the side of her head as he waited for Clarisse to answer.

Taking a deep breath a moment later, Clarisse raised her head and looked up into Joseph's eyes as they stopped moving. "I love you, but my heart still belongs with Rupert." She said softly "Like I said earlier, you need to go and be a good husband to Amy."

"Are you sure?" He asked and watched as she nodded.

"I am sure, I can't commit to anything and I really don't want to be that person to break up a marriage." She said, still looking up into his eyes.

"I will love you forever, you know that, don't you?" Joseph said and watched as Clarisse nodded.

"Go and make Amy happy, please don't wait for me." She said and stepped back.

"Alright," He said while stepping closer and kissed her forehead. "Take care of yourself and the boys." He added while stepping backwards, watching Clarisse as she nodded.

Clarisse stood and watched as he disappeared through the door. Folding her arms as the song finished, making her way into her bedroom a moment later as Joseph left the Palace, not being able to tell her he had already left Amy.


	9. Yes, or No?

_Thank you all so much for reading and leaving reviews, as always it's very much appreciated and right now I can't thank you enough!_

 _I apologize again if there are any mistakes, I am using the writing as a way to take my mind of things after losing someone very special to me a couple weeks ago._

 _I thank you for your patience._

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 9: Yes, or No?**

 _"If you want me to stay then I will stay, if you want me to go then I will go." Joseph said softly, and rested his cheek against the side of her head as he waited for Clarisse to answer._

 _Taking a deep breath a moment later, Clarisse raised her head and looked up into Joseph's eyes as they stopped moving. "I love you, but my heart still belongs with Rupert." She said softly "Like I said earlier, you need to go and be a good husband to Amy."_

 _"Are you sure?" He asked and watched as she nodded._

 _"I am sure, I can't commit to anything and I really don't want to be that person to break up a marriage." She said, still looking up into his eyes._

 _"I will love you forever, you know that, don't you?" Joseph said and watched as Clarisse nodded._

 _"Go and make Amy happy, please don't wait for me." She said and stepped back._

Clarisse couldn't sleep, she tossed and turned most of the night as her mind ran around in circles at what happened over the last several days.

 _"So you don't love her?" She asked._

 _"I don't know," He shrugged and walked over to the window. "I tried to, I thought I did, we were happy for a while and then I heard the news about Rupert and knew I had to return to you." He said turning his head, looking over his shoulder at her as she stood watching him. "I have loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you, and yes I knew I could never have you or even tell you because you were married to Rupert... that's why I wrote everything down..." He said sadly while looking down at the paper in his hands once again "You were never meant to see these." He added while closing his eyes. "I will always love you." He said and felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to see Clarisse stood beside him._

 _Staring into his eyes for several seconds, getting caught up in the moment as she stepped forward, placing her hand up on his cheek as she pressed her lips to his. Deepening it at the feeling of his arms wrapping around her waist, holding her close. And seconds later, not feeling any movement she was surprised when she felt herself be pressed back against the window frame, waking her from her actions._

Suddenly Clarisse's eyes sprung open "Why do I put myself through these things." She whispered to herself after a few moments silence.

~0~

 _Meanwhile across town._

Joseph sat on the edge of the couch in the home he shared with Amy, going through all the letters he had written for Clarisse, the one lady he ever truly loved, and the one lady he couldn't have. Sipping his whiskey as he grabbed another envelope, suddenly aware that Amy was stood in the doorway watching him.

"Did she turn you down?" She asked, taking a couple steps forward as he looked up at her momentarily before looking back down at the letter in his hand.

"Why did you marry me Amy? Did you ever love me, or was it to get back at Clarisse for something she couldn't control?" He asked and looked up to see the surprised look on her face "Yes, Clarisse told me that you blame her for Rupert leaving you." He added while shaking his head and sipped some more of his whiskey.

"I didn't marry you because of that, I married you because I fell in love with you... as Clarisse says, you can't help who you fall in love with." She said and moved to sit down beside him "I will admit that it hurt me when I found out about Clarisse and Rupert, and I still believe that they fell in love before we broke up, but I didn't marry you to get back at her."

Looking into her eyes for just a few seconds before looking away with a slight nod "Okay."

"I do love you, Joseph." Amy added as she watched him take another sip of his whiskey. After a moments silence she stood up and walked out, leaving him alone.

Sitting back in the chair, whiskey in one hand taking sips every now and then as he read a letter that he wrote to Clarisse in the other. And after downing his drink, he grabbed another letter, falling to sleep not long after.

 _Joseph sat in his Kings office waiting patiently for the Prince to arrive, hearing voices coming from just outside the door shortly after, Joseph rose to his feet, listening carefully to what was being said._

 _"Do I really need to have a guard?" Asked his soon to be bride._

 _"Yes you must, we will be crowned King and Queen shortly after our wedding we need body guards, sweetheart." Rupert smiled back at his beautiful bride to be, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It will be ok, you will like him I promise." He smiled and kissed her cheek._

 _"Ok," She smiled as Rupert smiled back at her before they entered his father's office._

 _"Joseph, my friend." Rupert smiled as they made their way over to him stood near the desk, still holding onto Clarisse's hand._

 _"It's nice to see you again, Your Highness." Joseph smiled as they shook hands._

 _"Like wise," Rupert said "This is Clarisse, my soon to be bride." He said with a smile and looked back at Clarisse giving her hand another little squeeze. "This is who you will be protecting." He smiled, looking back at Joseph as he smiled at Clarisse. "And Clarisse, my darling, this is Joseph, your new guard." He added while looking back at Clarisse._

 _"It's nice to meet you," Clarisse smiled as Joseph took hold of her hand, kissing the back of it._

 _"The same to you, Your Majesty." Joseph smiled and slowly let go of her hand as Rupert checked the time._

 _"If you would excuse me I'm late for a meeting with father, please talk and get to know each other. I will return as quickly as I can." Rupert smiled and kissed Clarisse's cheek "I will send tea." He added as he made his way out the office._

 _"Would you care to sit down?" Asked Clarisse while motioning to the couch._

 _"I would love to, Your Majesty." Answered Joseph as he walked around to take a seat._

 _"Oh please call me Clarisse." She smiled over at him._

 _"If you're sure?" Asked Joseph as he watched Clarisse nodding._

 _"Quite." Clarisse smiled as she tucked one foot behind her ankle._

 _Joseph knew from that moment he was head over heels in love with the future Queen of Genovia, and forbidden and very much in trouble._

Coming down a little past 8, Amy found Joseph fast asleep in the living room. Watching him for a few seconds before going to make some coffee, returning with a cup shortly after. Slowly she walked over and sat down beside him, gently rubbing his knee to awake him.

"Joseph, I have some coffee for you." She said softly as he began to stir.

"Clarisse?" He whispered to himself and opened his eyes as Amy sat back in surprise. "Amy..." He exclaimed.

"I brought you some coffee," She said placing it down on the coffee table in front of them and stood to walk away.

"Amy, I'm sorry I..." Joseph exclaimed as he jumped up and hurried into the hall after her where they stood staring at each other for a few seconds before Amy left, slamming the door behind herself. "Damn it!" Joseph exclaimed, knowing it was best to let her go.

~o~

 _Early that afternoon._

Walking into her office, Clarisse was surprised to see Amy sat waiting for her on the couch.

"Amy?" Clarisse said as she turned to look at her "What are you doing here?" She asked, making her way over to the seating area.

"We need to talk." Amy answered and watched as Clarisse slowly sat down.

"Alright..."

"Did Joseph come here last night?" She asked, and nodded after seeing Clarisse's face. "Thought so.."

"He was here yes, but nothing happened." Clarisse answered.

"Then why is your name the first name he says when he wakes up?" Amy asked, watching Clarisse's face. "I asked you yesterday, and you said no... I'm going to ask you again," Amy started, watching Clarisse the whole time "Do you love Joseph?" She asked, and like before she watched as Clarisse shook her head.

"No, I don't." _She lied_.

"I don't believe you," Amy said while looking down "I saw it in your eyes yesterday, then again just now.." She added and looked up at her sister "You do love Joseph..."

"Yes, alright, fine, I do love Joseph..." Clarisse exclaimed while standing up, unable to look at her sister "I have tried to ignore these feelings, but since we shared a kiss they have got to strong, and I..."

"What?" Amy interrupted "What kiss?" She asked as Clarisse stopped and slowly turned to her.

Taking a deep breath, Clarisse tried to explain as best as she could "The other night, we were talking, one thing lead to another and we kissed. I tried to ignore the feeling but it's just grown, I'm so sorry Amy."

"I don't believe this," Amy exclaimed as Clarisse moved to stand behind the couch. "Does Joseph know?" She asked.

"Sort of," Clarisse answered "I told him yesterday that I can't commit to anyone else, my heart still belongs to Rupert... I don't want to be with anyone else." She added and watched Amy move to stand by the window. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"Did you know that he left me yesterday?" Amy asked coldly while looking over at her "It all makes sense now." She said, folding her arms.

"What, he left you? But I thought you we're both leaving, I told him to be a good husband to you." Clarisse said.

"After you kissed him, you mean?" Amy asked while turning to face her.

"What do you mean after _I_ kissed him? We are both guilty of it, not just me so don't you dare just put the blame on me!" Clarisse exclaimed.

"You are unbelieveable, you know that?" Amy exclaimed.

"How dare you!" Clarisse snapped, seeing the smirk on her sisters face "Joseph deserves so much better than you!" Clarisse exclaimed.

"Someone like you, you mean?" Amy snapped back as she made her way over to the door.

"How dare you! I..." Clarisse exclaimed until Amy interrupted her.

Stopping, Amy turned to her sister "I think you've said enough!" She snapped and walked out.

Sighing, Clarisse made her way over to her desk and picked up the phone, dialing through to security.

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty." Robert said.

"First of all, who let Amy in to my office this morning? Because whoever it was I want them dealt with! And second, make sure she leaves the property and that she can't get back in." Clarisse exclaimed down the phone.

"I'm on both of those right now for you, Your Maj...esty." He finished slowly after realizing the phone had gone dead, and looking at the phone in his hand before hanging up.

Sighing Clarisse sat at her desk, trying to calm down.

 _Later that evening._

After having dinner with the boys, Clarisse retired to her suite. And after getting ready for bed, she tried to relax by reading one of her favourite books but her mind kept wondering off, until someone knocked on her suite door.

Placing the book down on the coffee table, and shifting the blanket from her legs she stood and made her way over to the door. Opening it she was surprised to see Joseph stood in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I came to check and make sure you're ok... Amy told me about the fight earlier." He said and watched as Clarisse slowly stepped back, letting him past.

"I didn't appreciate her coming into my home, and saying what she said." Clarisse said, closing the door behind him.

"I know, and I'm sorry." He said while turning to her. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"I will be fine." Clarisse answered, looking away momentarily before looking back at him "She told me that you left her though last night, why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know..." Joseph answered, unable to take his eyes from her.

"Did you think that I would have told you that I wanted you to stay? Was that what you we're hoping?" Clarisse asked and watched as he moved to stand in front of her.

"I guess I was hoping that, yes." Joseph answered her honestly "But I know that you won't commit."

"I told you last night that I didn't want to be that person who broke up a marriage, but I guess I did that already and you couldn't even tell me." Clarisse said softly, looking up into his eyes.

"No you didn't, I done that by myself." Joseph said and studied her face. "I need to tell you that we talked this afternoon..." He said, his heart breaking as she closed her eyes and nodded.

Slowly opening her eyes she looked back up at him "And now you're going to tell me that you are going to England with her," She said and watched as he looked down "That's alright, that's what you need to do." She said quietly, her heart breaking as Joseph remained looking down "Joseph, please look at me." She said softly and tilted her head just a little as he raised his head, looking into her eyes "If it doesn't work out, you are always welcome here." She whispered softly.

"Thank you." He nodded as they both stared into each others eyes.

"I do love you, you know." She whispered, and watched as he nodded. "And if I had any sense then I would ask you to stay now, but I don't. I do understand that you must go, I get that." She said sadly and turned to walk away.

"Stop," Joseph exclaimed while grabbing hold of her arm, causing her to look back at him "I will stay if you want me to stay." He said, both staring at each other momentarily "Yes, or No?" He asked and sighed as his phone started ringing "Ignore it, yes or no?" He asked again as Clarisse pulled her arm free.

"You need to answer that," She answered "Go on, answer it." She said and watched as Joseph looked down while grabbing the phone from his pocket.

"It's Amy." He said and looked back up at Clarisse.

"You definitely need to answer it," She said while stepping closer "And tell her you will be home in a bit." She whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek before walking away.

"Clarisse, wait a minute." He said, grabbing her arm again to stop her from walking away with one hand while answering the phone with his other "Amy..." He said into the phone as Clarisse and Joseph's eyes locked.


	10. A Fresh Start

**Chapter 10: A Fresh Start**

Sitting in the kitchens early next morning, her fingers wrapped around a cup of warm tea. Clarisse couldn't get last night out of her mind. Closing her eyes with a sigh, she slumped back in the chair as her mind drifted off.

 _Clarisse stood listening to the conversion Joseph had with Amy on the phone, hearing him tell her that he loved her broke her heart. And as they said their goodbyes, tears pricked Clarisse's eyes. Turning so Joseph couldn't see, she tried to brush them away as quickly as she could, but failed._

 _"Hey, what's the matter?" Joseph asked, pulling her closer to him._

 _Shaking her head as she looked down "It doesn't matter," She said and looked up as Joseph put his hands up, wiping away the stray tears with his thumbs as his hands framed her face._

 _"It does matter, we are friends, aren't we?" He asked and watched as she nodded and looked down._

 _"Just hearing you tell her that you love her, when I know you don't..." She started and shook her head "I wake every morning and realize I miss that." She said shaking her head again "I've said to much," She exclaimed while pulling herself free from his grasp, walking away._

 _"Clarisse..." Joseph called softly and watched as she stopped, standing with her back to him. "I am being serious, if you say yes right now then I will stay here with you." He said and watched as she shook her head while turning around to face him._

 _"I can't give you what you want," She said tearfully._

 _"You are all I want." He answered softly while moving to stand in front of her._

 _"You want to have children and I can't give you that, not now." Clarisse answered while looking up into his eyes._

 _"Why? Why can't you?" Joseph asked softly._

 _Looking down she shook her head "Because next birthday I will be forty one, and you have told me for years that you wanted children, please don't stay here with me because I can't give you that now, when Amy can."_

 _"If I can have you then I don't want children, your two boys and you are all I really want." He answered tearfully while putting his hands up to brush her hair back from her face. "Beside, if you did say yes and I stayed, we could still have children, it's still possible."_

 _Shaking her head, Clarisse looked up into his eyes "No I can't, I can't..." She cried. "I can't... Please you need to go." She added while looking down._

 _"Do you not understand what I'm saying?" Joseph asked while putting his hand up under her chin, raising her face to look into her eyes "It's you I want, please understand this."_

 _"Please understand this, I can't give you what you want..." She answered, looking into his eyes, her head tilted slightly "Don't give up on your dreams... not for me, please." She whispered, almost begging._

 _"Walking away from you tonight, will be giving up on my dreams." He whispered. "Everytime I close my eyes, I see you, your beautiful blue eyes. I see us together, happy." He whispered as they both stared into each others eyes._

"Your Majesty," Charlotte said softly, and watched as her Queen opened her eyes and looked up at her assistant stood beside her "Are you alright?" She asked.

Sitting up, Clarisse nodded "I think so." She answered, and cleared her throat before checking her wrist for the time, only to find she wasn't wearing her watch. "Charlotte, I wonder if you.." She said while putting her hand on her wrist and looked up at her assistant.

"Have the time?" Charlotte smiled down at her as she nodded "Of course," She said and checked "It's a little before seven."

"Thank you," Clarisse smiled up at her and sipped a bit more of her tea before standing up "Well I best go and get ready for the day." She said and made her way over to the door, taking the cup of tea with her.

"Your Majesty?" Charlotte called after her while pushing Clarisse's chair under the table and looked up at her as she turned to face her. "Are you sure that you're ok?" She asked again, knowing something was wrong.

"Of course, I promise." Clarisse nodded, giving her a smile before walking out. Only to stop once she was clear of the door and look down for several seconds, before carrying on up to her suite.

After Clarisse was ready she made her way back downstairs, and after having breakfast with the boys and seeing them off to school she headed to her office to get started on the days schedule. Only, just as she was about to get into reading and signing paperwork, a knock came to her door.

"Come," She called out and looked up at the door over the top of her glasses as Charlotte entered.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Your Majesty, but this parcel just arrived for you." Charlotte said as she made her way over to her desk.

"That came just now?" Clarisse asked while looking at the box "And it's for me?" She asked and looked back up at Charlotte.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Charlotte said while looking down at the top of the box, checking the name before nodding and looking back up at her Queen.

"Hmm.. Ok." Clarisse answered and made a space for it on her desk "If you leave it there, I will get to it when I have a few moments." She said and watched as Charlotte placed it on the desk, where Clarisse cleared a space. "Thank you, Charlotte."

"You're welcome, Your Majesty." Charlotte smiled "Do you need anything while I'm here?" She asked.

"No not right now, thank you though." Clarisse smiled "I will ring if I need anything." She added.

"Of course, Your Majesty." Charlotte nodded and left.

Clarisse watched as Charlotte closed the door as she left, before looking at the box. With curiosity getting the better of her she stood and opened the box. Seeing an envelope with her name on, on top of another box inside she picked it up, opened it and read it quietly to herself.

 _I know that Joseph was with you last night, but remember he came home to me. And as you will know by now today we are leaving for England, to begin our fresh start._

 _We both wish you the best, and hope that you can move on all in good time. Inside the box is a little something I thought you might like, Happy reading._

 _Amy_

Letting her arm fall down, letter still in her hand as she looked at the box. And slowly as she stepped closer, she opened the other box to find it full of envelopes with her name on, knowing exactly what they were. Stepping back, she paused for several seconds before walking over to the door. Opening it just as Charlotte was passing.

"Charlotte," Clarisse called as she stepped into her office doorway.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Charlotte smiled as she hurried over to her "What can I do for you?"

"I wonder, who dropped of the parcel you left in my office?" Clarisse asked.

"I'm not sure, I could find out for you though, Your Majesty?" Asked Charlotte.

"If you could, please?" Clarisse answered.

"Of course, I will do that right now for you and will be back as soon as I can." Charlotte smiled and watched as Clarisse nodded before going back into her office, closing the door behind her.

Clarisse stood by the window, her arms folded as she waited for Charlotte to return. Hearing a knock to her door, she let her arms fall down at her sides as she turned around to face the door "Come." She called out, and watched as Charlotte entered.

"I have asked David, the guard who accepted the parcel, Your Majesty." Charlotte started and watched as Clarisse walked to stand behind the couch.

"And?" Clarisse asked.

"It was dropped of by a normal delivery courier guy." Charlotte answered.

"Ok, thank you Charlotte." Clarisse said with a slight nod "That will be all."

"Of course, Your Majesty." Charlotte said and made her way out the office, closing the door behind herself.

Looking over at the box, Clarisse found herself taking a deep breath before walking back over to her desk. And even though she knew she shouldn't, she just couldn't help herself but read one of the letters. But having read one, she read another, then another and then another, until finally she couldn't read anymore. Sitting back down she rested her elbows on her desk in front of her, and covered her face with her hands.

 _As tears pricked Clarisse's eyes, she looked away fully aware that Joseph remained looking at her, watching her as she looked down. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She cried and looked up at his face "I think you should go." She whispered with a small shake of her head, her tears rolling down her cheeks._

 _Reaching up he wiped away her tears, studying her face as she closed her eyes "Do you want me to stay?" He asked softly and watched as Clarisse turned her head to the side slightly, her eyes remaining closed._

 _"Yes!" She exclaimed with a nod, surprising herself as she opened her eyes "Yes I do!" She whispered through tears. "I want you to stay!" She added as Joseph moved his hand around to the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair as he lowered his head to hers, pressing his lips to hers just a second later as she put her hands up on his sides._

 _Guiding her back, pressing her against the wall seconds later as the kiss became heated. Pulling back, Joseph put both hands up, brushing her hair back behind her ears before framing her face as they looked into each others eyes "I love you so much, Clarisse." He whispered against her lips before kissing her again, both getting caught up in the moment._

 _Feeling his hands sliding down her arms, that butterfly feeling forming in her stomach as he placed them gently on her sides before slowly moving them around to her back. Opening her eyes, Clarisse pulled her head back and looked into Joseph's eyes as he watched her. Taking her bottom lip between her teeth she looked down as she moved her hands to his chest. "I'm sorry." She whispered and watched as he lowered his head, looking down at the floor._

 _Seconds later he lifted his head and stepped back, walking out a moment later._

"Clarisse?"

Looking up, Clarisse was surprised to see her father stood in front of her desk. "Father." She said quietly and stood up, hurrying around to him as he turned and held out his arms to her.

"It will be ok, you will see." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. "It may not seem like it now, but maybe it was for the best that they did leave together, as Amy informed us this morning that she's pregnant." He said softly and watched as Clarisse raised her head.

"What?" She said, looking up at her father as he nodded. Stepping back as she looked down momentarily before looking back up at her father. "Thats great news," She nodded and slowly walked back over to her desk.

Watching her as she fumbled with some envelopes, Nicolai stepped forward as she put them back in the box. "Clarisse, are you ok?" He asked and watched as she grabbed some tape.

"I'm great, father, thank you." She nodded while looking up at him, before looking back down at the box, taping it up. "Amy and Joseph have gone to England, they are expecting a baby and I know that's something Joseph really wanted... I still have my boys, and our home..." She said as she stopped, closing her eyes as she looked down "Our future..." She added sadly.

"Clarisse..." Nicolai said softly, concerned as he moved around to her. "You've been through so much this last few weeks, darling," He added as he put his arm around his daughters shoulders.

"I have, we all have." Clarisse nodded and slowly looked up at her father "But it's time to move on, yes Rupert will never be forgotten and I will always love him." She said with a nod "Joseph and Amy left for England for their fresh start, and today is mine and the boys fresh start." Clarisse said while looking down at the box on her desk "Can you please take this, and get rid of it for me?" She asked and looked up at him as she placed one of her hands on top of the box.

"Of course, I will take it when I leave." Nicolai nodded "But are you sure that you are ok?" He asked, feeling worried. "Maybe you and the boys should take a break?"

"I'm wonderful father, we don't need a break." She said while taking a couple steps back away from her desk "Now if you don't mind, I still have a lot to do before the boys return home from school." She said as she made her way over to the door, walking out before Nicolai had chance to answer her.

After having Charlotte hold all her calls, Clarisse headed up to her suite where once the door was closed and locked, she broke down. Folding her arms she fell back against the wall, where she slowly slid down into a heap on the floor.


	11. Surprise, Mother

_Firstly I would like to thank everyone for reading, leaving reviews, for following and for adding this story to your favourite list. It's still, and always will be appreciated, thank you all so much._

 _And secondly, please enjoy. ;)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 11: Surprise, Mother.**

5 years later.

It's a hot July as Clarisse and her father, Nicolai, travelled to England to see Pierre's Graduation. He had been studying there for the last 3 years, and was looking forward to seeing his mother again. Sure they saw each other on holidays and birthdays, but this time was extra special, it was his graduation and it had taken him months to convince his mother to attend.

And as Pierre remained at his dorm during the visit, Clarisse, her father and several members of staff stayed at a nearby Country Golf Club and hotel, which just so happens to be where Pierre and his friends were holding a party that evening to celebrate their graduation.

After getting up nice and early, Pierre made his way over to the hotel. It had been several months since he last saw his mother, and in just a short time they will be seeing each other again. When he arrived one of the guards escorted him up to her room. Knocking on the door, he waited with a smile and was only left surprised when his grandfather, Nicolai answered.

"Pierre!" Nicolai exclaimed as he let go of the door, holding both arms up to him.

"Papa!" Pierre exclaimed while stepping forward, giving him a hug. "What are you doing here, am I in the right room?" He asked, stepping back to look at him "I thought this was mothers room?" He added as he walked into the room.

"This is, I came to meet you both for breakfast." Nicolai smiled and closed the door, putting his arm around Pierre as they made their way over to the couch.

"Ah!" He said as they both sat down "Let me guess, she's getting ready?" He asked and watched as Nicolai laughed while looking away.

"Yes she is." He smiled and looked back at him. "Now, your Grandma appologizes that she couldn't be here, but she's full of flu."

"Oh, I understand and I hope that Auntie Ruth is looking after her well?" Pierre asked.

"Of course!" Nicolai nodded.

"Good," Pierre smiled.

After catching up with each other they sat waiting for Clarisse, and as they waited Pierre drifted off into a day dream, unsure how his surprise is going to go with his mother today.

 _"So your mother doesn't know that I'm helping with security tomorrow night?"_

 _"No she doesn't, if she did I'm pretty sure she would cancel her visit." Pierre answered and sipped his whiskey. "What actually happened between you two anyway, one minute you were there and the next you had gone with no word from you." He said, watching the man in front of him._

 _Looking across at him, his whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. "I think you should ask your mother."_

 _"I did, a lot actually, but she never answered." Pierre said while sitting back._

 _"I see." Joseph nodded and sipped his whiskey, before resting his arm back over the arm of the chair._

 _"Can I just say something?" Pierre asked and watched as Joseph nodded "When I was a teenager I noticed a lot of things, and as I grew older I learned more about these things I noticed." Pausing to take a sip of his whiskey "And the looks you both shared each other, were filled with nothing but love for each other." He continued and watched as Joseph looked down. "I know that you both loved each other, I just don't understand why you didn't actually get together?" Pierre said._

 _"Oh there was a lot of problems, and being together it would of only caused more." Joseph said, finally looking up at him. "I did, I do love your mother very much and would do anything to be with her, but I know that will never happen." He said while shaking his head "And why am I even talking to you about this, your her son.. I shouldn't be talking to you about loving your mother."_

 _"I may be her son, but I know a lot more than you think I do..." Pierre answered, causing Joseph to look straight into his eyes._

 _"I don't doubt that for a moment..."_

 _"Did you know that you had fathers blessing?" Pierre interrupted, as Joseph remained looking at him "He wanted mother to move on, he wrote it all in a letter to her. He never wanted mother to remain alone after his passing, and knew that you would be well suited. Both he and mother trusted you with their lifes, what better person to marry his wife and take care of his sons." Pierre said and watched as Joseph looked down._

 _"I had no idea, she never told me." Joseph said while shaking his head before leaning forward, placing the cigar in the ashtray placed on the table between them._

 _"I didn't think she would," Pierre answered and watched him sit back before checking the time "I have to go in a bit, she will be here soon and can't know I was here with you, well not until tomorrow at least anyway." Pierre smirked and finished his drink before standing up. "Now the plans for tomorrow are this, I am coming to meet her for breakfast and then we will go have a game of golf with papa, and then we will meet you at the college about two?" Pierre asked and watched as Joseph stood to his feet._

 _"That sounds good," Joseph nodded as he shook Pierre's hand "I'm very proud of you, you know."_

 _"Thank you, my friend." Pierre smiled as he stepped closer, giving him a quick man hug. But before stepping back, he whispered in Joseph's ear "Just so you know, you have my blessing too." He said and stepped back, watching Joseph look at him "See you tomorrow?" He said._

 _"Indeed you will." Joseph said and watched him walk out._

Pierre couldn't help but smile to himself, for today his mother would either love him more or kill him for what he's done. Only time will tell which it would be.

"Are you alright?" Nicolai asked, bringing Pierre out of his day dream.

"I'm sorry?" He asked, not hearing what he asked, but before Nicolai had chance to repeat what he had said, Clarisse's bedroom door opened.

Standing to his feet, Pierre smiled as his mother entered the room and straight over to him. "Mother?" He smiled softly as they embraced into a hug.

"Oh my darling, I have missed you." Clarisse smiled and stepped back while taking hold of her sons hands "Let me look at you?" She said as she looked him up and down "Are you eating well?" She asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Of course I am, mother." Pierre chuckled while stepping closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to pull her close. "And I have missed you too, mother." He added and kissed the side of her head as she wrapped one arm around his back placing her hand on his side, and placed her other hand on his stomach.

"Good." Clarisse smiled up at him "Since when did you get so tall?" She asked, studying his face, checking out the beard and mustache that had appeared on his face since the last visit.

"I'm sorry," Pierre chuckled.

"And what is this?" She asked while reaching up, giving his beard a little tug.

"I felt like a change, don't you like it?" Pierre smiled down at his mother.

"I do, make's you look very handsome..." She smiled while stepping back "Much like your father." She smiled admiringly at her son.

"I thought so too." Pierre nodded, finally noticing her attire. "And I see you are ready for golf?" He smirked as Clarisse looked down at herself.

"Of course, of course." She smiled back up at him.

After catching up a bit and having breakfast together, they made their way to play golf. However half way through, and as Nicolai and Pierre stood watching Clarisse as she prepared herself to hit the ball she stopped, looking around the course.

"What's the matter?" Pierre asked as he and Nicolai walked over to her, looking around.

"I just got a feeling I was being watched." She said, looking up at them.

"Yes, me and papa was watching you... maybe that's it?" Pierre answered and watched his mother look down, checking on the golf ball.

"Yes, maybe that was it." Clarisse said, quickly scanning the area again before getting into position to hit the ball again.

But from a far, she was being watched, watched by someone who had missed her very much, and who hated the fact he had to stand back and simply watch for now. Sipping his drink, he continued to watch as she stood with her feet apart, her knees slightly flexed, getting ready to hit that ball. And then seconds later as she hit the ball, he smiled. Leaving her arms up over her shoulder, club remaining in her hands as she watched where the golf ball landed. _He had taught her well._

Lowering her arms, Clarisse made her way back over to her son and father. As she did she got a familiar feeling, something she had felt before, but was unsure when. And deep down she knew, she knew someone was there and that they were watching her. Slipping the club back into the golf bag to move on, she took one more quick look around, just to make sure.

"Mother, are you still worried?" Pierre asked as they began moving onto the next hole.

"I can't help it, having the feeling of being watched isn't a nice feeling." Clarisse said and looked at her son as he began walking beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Only when you don't know who it is, who's watching you." Pierre said.

"Exactly!" Clarisse exclaimed.

"Did you want to continue? We can stop if you want?" He asked, watching her as she looked down at the floor.

"No, it will be ok." She answered while wrapping her arm around his back.

"Alright, just let me know if you change your mind." He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." She smiled and watched as he jogged on in front of them.

Once they were finished they headed back to the club house for a quick lunch before getting ready to head to the college for Pierre's graduation. And as Clarisse slipped into the casual sleeveless knee length summer dress and heels she had personally picked, she tried to rack her brains on the feelings she felt earlier in the day and when she had felt them before. Only by the time she was ready to leave she still hadn't figured it out and it was beginning to annoy her.

Arriving at the college a little before two, Clarisse and her father, Nicolai mingled with a few other of the parents until Pierre came over before the ceremony started.

"Pierre," Clarisse smiled as she brushed her hand down his graduation gown "I'm very proud of you, you know?" She said as Pierre took hold of her hand in both of his, causing her to stop and look up at him "And so is your father." She whispered.

"I know, and thank you." He smiled and lent closer, kissing her cheek as she closed her eyes "Thank you for coming." He whispered and pulled back, to see tears in his mothers eyes "Please don't start crying now, or I will cry." He said quietly as he quickly found her a tissue.

"I'll be ok," Clarisse nodded and dabbed her eyes with the tissue "It's tears of happiness." She added while looking up at him.

"Good." He smiled as she reached up to cup his face briefly.

"Pierre!" One of his friends called out from across the seating area, interrupting the moment as Pierre and Clarisse looked over at him "I will see you at the party tonight!" He waved.

"Great, see you there!" Pierre called back and looked back at his mother.

"What party?" Clarisse asked, studying her sons face.

"Oh a few friends and myself are hosting a party at the hotel tonight, you know to celebrate our graduation." Pierre smiled.

"What hotel? My hotel?" Clarisse asked and watched as Pierre nodded "Well, I hope you have proper security then."

"I do," Pierre smirked "And I am really hoping that a certain mother will pop in and have a drink with her son?" He said, watching his mothers face as she began shaking her head "Shall I get down on my hands and knees to beg, will you come then?" He said, begging.

"I'm sure you wouldn't want your mother at your party, we will have a drink tomorrow night." Clarisse said.

"Ah, that might be a problem..." Pierre exclaimed, trying to think of something to say "I would much prefer if it was tonight, please mother." He said, pulling the face he done so many times when he was growing up.

"Don't pull that face, it doesn't work anymore." Clarisse tried, trying to look away but couldn't help but laugh herself as Pierre started laughing at her reaction "Oh very well!" She exclaimed.

"Yes!" Pierre exclaimed and kissed her cheek "Thank you so much, mother." He grinned, his plan falling into place. Stepping back he noticed Joseph walking over to them "Ahh, here's one of the guards I hired for tonight, mother." He smiled while placing one hand on her back, extending his other arm out in front of her towards Joseph. "Afternoon, Joseph." He said looking at him, then at Clarisse as she gasped in surprise.

"Joseph!" Clarisse exclaimed.


	12. Surprise, Mother Part 2

_Thank you everyone for all your reviews and for reading, it's really amazing to see all the reviews :) Thank you all so much._

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 12: Surprise, Mother. Part 2.**

"Hello Clarisse... I can still call you Clarisse, can't I?" He asked, their eyes locking as Pierre smirked.

"What, I... well yes..." Clarisse nodded, forcing herself to look away, before she realized what she had done. "Yes of course you can." She said, looking straight back at him.

"Great," Joseph smiled "You are looking well."

"Thank you, you too." Clarisse smiled and looked at Pierre, giving him a confused glare.

"Now you are wondering how I found him, aren't you?" Pierre smirked at his mothers expression.

"Well, I... I did wonder that, yes." Clarisse nodded in a confused daze.

"I bumped into him a few days ago, told him that I was graduating today and asked him if he was free to do some security work." Pierre said, looking between the pair.

"For your party tonight?" Clarisse asked and watched as Pierre nodded.

"Exactly," He smiled with a slight nod "And because he agreed to do the security work tonight, and because he has been a part of my life for so long I wanted to invite him to this." He added while looking around the place, then looked back at his mother. Seeing the Chancellor go up onto the stage, he placed his hand on his mothers back "I have to go now, take your seats and I will see you afterwards." He smiled at his mother, papa and Joseph before kissing her cheek and hurrying away before Clarisse had any chance to say anything.

Taking their seats, with Clarisse making sure her father was sat between her and Joseph, all getting comfortable for the ceremony. Several moments into the main speech from the Chancellor, Clarisse looked across at Joseph, unaware that Pierre was watching them, smirking to himself. Even her father, who was seated between the two knew who she was looking at, trying so hard not to smile to himself, at risk of being caught.

Clearing his throat a moment later, and getting distracted, Joseph looked straight at Clarisse, catching her red handed and causing her to smile at him for just a second before shifting her gaze back to the stage, turning her head to the front seconds later. And as Joseph continued to watch her, she looked down while closing her eyes. He wondered did she know he was staring, he tried so hard to look away, but just couldn't.

Hearing the chancellor speaking, unsure of what he was actually saying as she tried so hard to focus. This was her sons graduation and she couldn't even focus, instead she was trying to relax herself, stop her heart from beating so fast. She could feel his eyes on her, that familiar feeling she had felt so many times before and one she realized that she had that very morning on the golf course. She knew it was him watching her, his eyes burning into her silky skin, undressing her with his eyes. Biting her bottom lip, she slowly looked back up and tried as hard as she could to focus on the ceremony and not the man sat two seats away from her.

After the ceremony, and posing for photos everyone mingled a bit before going there own ways. And after talking with Pierre, Clarisse and her father headed back to the hotel. Then later, after getting ready she headed down to Pierre's party. But as she walked down the hall, she quickly jumped back when she saw Joseph stood on the door with another guard. Placing her hand on her tummy as she got that familiar feeling once again, she looked down at herself and only then did she realize what she had chosen for the nights attire.

Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back with a small sigh and whispered to herself "Why did you have to pick out red, and lace.. oh goodness Clarisse, why? Out of all the outfits you brought..."

"Clarisse?" Joseph called as he made his way over to her leaning against the wall. "Are you alright?" He asked.

Quickly standing up straight, she composed herself as he stood in front of her. "Yes, I'm alright.. thank you." She nodded. "Just heading to Pierre's party." She smiled while motioning to the main doors.

"I thought so," He smiled and watched as she started taking a couple steps forward.

"Well I better go... " She smiled back at him "Or he will be wondering where I got to." She said, and watched as Joseph nodded "See you again." She smiled while putting her hand up and walked away, leaving him stood there, watching her walk away.

Looking up, Pierre couldn't help but smile when he spotted his mother walking through the door. Making his way over to greet her as she was handed a glass of champagne. "Mother." He smiled while putting his arms up, placing his hands on the tops of her shoulders "I'm so glad you came." He said and kissed both her cheeks.

"Are you?" Clarisse asked with a cheeky smile, teasing him as he stepped back "I can't stay for long, I fell asleep this afternoon and didn't have time to have dinner so I still need to do that before retiring to bed." She said and sipped her champagne.

"Perfect." Pierre smiled, watching her as she looked up at him.

"Pardon?" She asked, missing what he had said.

"Oh nothing." Pierre smiled, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Let me introduce you to a few of my friends." He grinned down at her.

Shortly after he disappeared, returning a few moments later and straight away started mingling with his friends. Feeling a hand on her back, Clarisse turned to see Joseph stood beside her.

"Bit loud in here, isn't it?" He said out loud.

"What?" Clarisse called back and watched as he leaned closer.

"I said, it's a bit loud in here, isn't it?" He said again and pulled back.

"What?" She said again this time with a smile, teasing him. Beginning to nod as he smiled back "Yes it is, it's too loud."

Leaning closer to her ear "Shall we leave these rowdy students to do the partying?" He said and pulled back, studying her face.

"Aren't you on duty?" Clarisse asked and watched as he took her glass, placing it down on the side before placing his hand on her back.

"Shall we go?" He said while extending his other arm towards the door, watching her lead the way.

Once outside and in a quieter place, Clarisse turned to Joseph "Aren't you meant to be on duty?" She asked again.

"I am, but they can manage... there are plenty of guards after all." He said "Now I heard you haven't had dinner yet? Shall we go and see if we can get a table in the restaurant here? I heard that the food is delicious and shouldn't be missed." He said with a smile as Clarisse smirked to herself while looking down, nodding slightly.

"Sure, why not." She said while looking up a few seconds later, smiling up at him, knowing exactly what Pierre was up too.

"Great." He smiled.

Heading to the restaurant, Clarisse made a plan of her own to get her son back. When they arrived they got a drink each before asking for a table, which left Clarisse surprised to find that there was already a table booked in her name. Following the waiter, who seated them and left them with a menu to look over.

"Did Pierre put you up too this?" Clarisse asked, looking over the menu at Joseph and watched as he slowly looked up.

Seeing that he had been busted, and Clarisse knew when he was lying, he nodded "I'm afraid so, he just came to me and said that you hadn't eaten and asked if I would make sure you did."

Shaking her head, she looked away "I knew it." Clarisse said, unable to hide the smirk that was fast forming on her lips "I'm going to get him back, somehow." She said while looking back at the menu.

"Well," Joseph said while putting down his menu and watched as Clarisse looked up at him "You have two options, one you could stay here and have dinner with me, or two you could go back to your suite and have dinner alone..." He said, never taking his eyes from her "And I don't know about you, but I am starving and having dinner with a friend sounds so much more appealing." He smiled while picking up his glass.

"You no what, you are right." Clarisse smiled while putting her menu down and picked up her glass "It does sound so much better, doesn't it?" She smiled and clinked her glass with his "Cheers, old friend." She smiled and sipped her drink.

"Hey, less of the old!" Joseph exclaimed, causing Clarisse to laugh. "Gosh how I missed that laugh." He said softly, watching Clarisse as she slowly raised her gaze to meet his eyes "I have missed you, you know?" He added as she placed her glass down.

Taking a deep breath, she found herself nodding "And I have missed you," Watching him place his glass down as the waiter returned, taking their orders.

When he walked away, Clarisse lifted her glass to take a sip as Joseph did the same "So tell me," She started while placing her glass back down and looked at him "What have you been up to, tell me what's been going on?" She asked, clasping her hands together on her lap, under the table.

"Well I don't know how much you know?" He answered.

"I don't know anything, after you and Amy left, she cut us all off, even our parents." Clarisse said, watching him as he nodded while looking down.

"I thought she did," He said looking back up at her "And I'm sorry about that, leaving with her was the biggest mistake of my life."

"Why was it?" She asked, watching him place his arms on the table linking his fingers together.

"Well there was no baby, I learned she had only told us that so that I would leave with her." He answered and watched as Clarisse slumped back in the chair, shocked.

"Oh Joseph, I'm so sorry." Clarisse said softly while sitting back up. "You aren't still with her, are you?" She asked.

"No, we broke up straight away. I filed for divorce but she refused until last year, it was only made final 6 months ago." He said and looked down.

"Why didn't you come back to the Palace?" Clarisse asked.

"Because I was ashamed, ashamed of what I had done to our friendship and how I left things." He answered while looking up into her eyes, causing her to look away "I'm sorry about the way I did leave things, I prayed every night for forgiveness." He said softly.

"You had no reason to do that, we were both to blame on how things were left." Clarisse said, watching him as they both fell silent.

"I'm sorry," Joseph said softly a moment later.

"I will admit to you right now, when you did leave it hit me hard. Someone I called my best friend, and someone I found myself loving left, I didn't know who to turn too." She said sadly while looking down "I'm just thankful for my father, he's been my rock through everything."

"I see that, whenever you are at public events I see he's never to far away from you." He said, studying her face. "I'm sorry I left." He said, it falling silent between them once again. "Anyway," Joseph smiled a moment later "Tell me what's been going on in your life, it's a big day for Pierre."

"Yes it is, I'm very proud of him and his brother." Clarisse smiled at him "And as if you didn't know what's been going on, it's not like my life has been private, is it?" She said, teasingly.

"I know, but I wanted you to tell me." He smiled at her "And talking of Philippe, where is he? How's he doing?" He asked before sipping somemore of his wine.

"Oh he wanted to stay behind in Genovia," Clarisse answered while watching him. "He's doing well, very well.. he's actually getting ready to go and study in America for a year." She smiled and sipped some of her wine.

"That's great," He smiled and watched as she put her glass down "So are you going to tell me about what's been happening in your life?" He asked again, and watched as she chuckled a little while keeping her eyes down.

Slowly she looked up at him with a small shake of her head "No, maybe another time." She smiled.

"Alright," He smiled with a nod and looked down, fully aware that Clarisse remained watching him.

Shortly after their dinner arrived, and once they had eaten they caught up some more, with a few laughs over a few glasses of wine.

"I think," Clarisse said while putting her now empty glass down "It's time to call it a night." She said, turning to look at Joseph as he fumbled with the flower display on the table.

"Well, as sad as I am at that fact," He started while sitting back with a single red rose in his hands "I have had a great time tonight, thank you for agreeing to join me." He smiled.

"I too have had a wonderful evening, thank you for asking, even if it was Pierre's plan." Clarisse smiled and watched as he extended his hand out to her.

"I remember you love red roses, and I have been wanting to do that since we sat down." He smiled as she took the rose, twirling it around the tip of her nose as she smelt it.

"Thank you." She smiled, looking up at him.

"Shall we dance before we call it a night?" He asked, and watched as she looked around a moment before looking back at him.

"I would love too." She smiled, standing to her feet as Joseph did.

Reaching over he took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. Where he turned to her, putting one arm around her waist, his hand on her back as he kept hold of her hand with his other one. Smiling as she put her other hand that held the rose up, wrapping her arm around his shoulder, her hand on the middle of his back.

As they began swaying slowly to the song, Joseph rested his chin against the side of Clarisse's head. He couldn't believe that once again he had her in his arms, he could smell her perfume, it was her favourite. He could smell her hair, she had used the same shampoo, even after all this time and he couldn't believe how amazing she looked in the red dress she wore.

Closing her eyes, she couldn't believe that she was dancing with him once again, or the fact that they had just had dinner together. She still had to get Pierre back for that, but as she's had such a wonderful time she wondered if she should just let him off. She would decide in the morning, as right now she wanted to just enjoy this dance, and the fact that she was in his arms again.

"You look beautiful tonight," He said softly in her ear "Well you do all the time, but when you wear red you look even more beautiful." He added, feeling Clarisse pulling her head back.

"Thank you." She smiled up at him, their eyes locking. "I have really missed you." She whispered, knowing he was good at lip reading. Breaking eye contact a moment later, just long enough to glance down at his lips.

After the song finished, Joseph walked Clarisse up to her suite, where they stood at the door talking for a few moments.

"When do you leave?" He asked, standing in front of her as she stood with her back to her door.

"I leave the day after tomorrow, why?" She asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Because I would like for us to do this again, will you agree to another dinner with me tomorrow night?" He asked.

"I would like that, yes." She smiled "Oh wait," She exclaimed while looking away a moment "I just remembered I have plans with Pierre tomorrow evening." She said while looking back up at him "Shoot." She said, and watched as Joseph chuckled.

"Well alright, what about lunch then? Would you allow me to take you to lunch?" He asked and watched as she thought about it.

"Yes, that I can do." She smiled.

"Great." He smiled back "I know a lovely place not to far away from here."

"I will look forward to it." She smiled and looked down to get her room key from her purse. "Thanks again for tonight." She said while unlocking her door.

"It was my pleasure." He smiled and watched as she turned back to him.

"I think because I had such a wonderful time, I will let Pierre off." She smiled and watched as Joseph looked down with a chuckle.

"I thought you would." Joseph smiled as he looked back up at her, their eyes meeting once again. Leaning in just seconds later, pressing his lips to hers, causing Clarisse to close her eyes.

Letting it linger for just a moment before pulling back "Good night, Joseph." She said while looking up into his eyes and turned, walking into her suite. Where she turned, leaning against the door as she held it open, smiling at Joseph as he stood smiling at her from the hallway.


	13. Give Me A Chance, Please?

_Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews, I love them all, thank you :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 13: Give Me A Chance, Please?**

The following day.

Clarisse stood at the open balcony doors, a light breeze filling the air as she sipped her morning tea. Slowly she walked out to check out the view, she had wanted to do it yesterday but didn't have chance. Seeing people taking their morning walks, and children with their parents playing by the lake, Clarisse couldn't help but smile.

Hearing a door opening, and closing, Clarisse turned around and slowly made her way back over to the doors. Smiling to herself as she watched him pour himself a cup of tea "Good morning." She smiled happily, and watched as he looked up at her, smiling back.

Sipping his tea, Joseph looked up seeing the same view as Clarisse saw just a few moments ago. Slowly, doing the exact same thing, he stepped out onto the balcony, taking in the warm of the morning. Getting lost in his thoughts as he planned his day, wanting it to be perfect.

Sitting down, Clarisse poured herself some more tea. "Did you drink to much last night?" She asked while picking up her tea and watched as Pierre sat down opposite her, looking a bit worse for wear.

"Yes, I ended up crashing in one of my mates rooms." He answered and watched as she sipped her tea. "Remind me, did we make any plans for today?" He asked, holding his head.

"Not for the day, just this evening. We are having dinner?" She answered.

"Oh yes, that's right." He nodded in agreement. "Ugh! I still feel drunk." He said, his head banging as Clarisse couldn't help but laugh.

"Well that will teach you to drink to much," She smirked as Pierre rested his head on the table. "But, the main thing is did you have fun?" She asked.

"I think so, I can't really remember." He answered and slowly raised his head, causing Clarisse to laugh. "You don't mind if I hang around here today, do you?" He asked.

"Of course I don't mind, papa will be here. I have plans with Joseph today." She answered while standing up "Did you want me to order you some breakfast?" She asked, making her way over to the phone.

"Oh god no, I don't think I can handle that yet." Pierre answered and watched her move over to the bedroom door "Aren't you eating?"

"I already have." She smiled over at him "I was awake early."

"I see." He answered and sipped his tea "Did you say you had plans with Joseph today?"

"Yes I do, we are going to lunch." She answered and disappeared into her bedroom.

"Oh really?" He said while standing to his feet, slowly making his way over to the door. Watching her a moment as she looked for something to wear "So it went well last night then?" He asked.

"Yes it did," Clarisse nodded and looked over at him "And don't think I don't know what you were up to," She smirked, causing him to laugh.

"Me?" He exclaimed "I didn't do anything." He added as Clarisse smiled.

"You're lucky I love you." She smiled and watched as he walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Thank god." He smiled, continuing to watch her. "I think you should go for that flowery skirt, that white top and maybe that cardigan." He smiled as she stopped and turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. "And maybe those wedge heels I saw yesterday." He grinned up at her.

Looking at all her stuff momentarily before looking back at him "Why thank you." She smiled and walked over, tapping the back of his shoulder "Now as much as I love you, you must go as I need to get ready." She smiled, walking him over to the door.

"Alright, I will wait out here." He smiled and walked out.

"I won't be long." She said, causing Pierre to laugh. Smiling up at him "Maybe you should see if you can get some more sleep."

"Hmmm good idea." Pierre nodded and made his way over to the couch.

Shaking her head with a smile, Clarisse closed her door and began getting ready.

 **Later that morning.**

Taking a seat at the table, Clarisse smiled up at Joseph as he sat down opposite her, then they both looked up at the waiter as he took their drink orders.

"I saw Pierre celebrated well last night," Joseph started, while looking at Clarisse with a smile.

"Yes he did, he ended up crashing in a friends room." She smiled back.

"Well that's good, at least he had a great night." Joseph smiled and watched as Clarisse rested her elbows on the table in front of her, resting her chin on her hands. "It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?" He said and watched as she nodded.

"Yes it is," She smiled at him then up at the waiter as he placed the drinks down on the table "Thank you," She smiled picking up her drink, taking a couple sips.

"Thank you," Joseph said, doing the same.

"I hope you didn't mind, but I let father know about what we talked about yesterday." Clarisse said while putting her glass down.

"Oh no, of course I don't mind," He said, watching her as she looked back up at him.

"I wonder, would you come back and work at the Palace again?" She asked, hoping he would say yes.

"If you would have me, then yes I would." Joseph answered, giving her a small smile.

"I would yes, I wouldn't of asked you other wise." She smiled, teasing him.

"Then I would be happy to accept," He smiled "Thank you."

"You are most welcome, and welcome back to the family." Clarisse smiled.

"Well I ain't really apart of the family anymore, am I?" He said sadly.

"Yes you are," Clarisse said with a nod "You are apart of mine and the boys family." She smiled "And don't you forget it." She added while sitting back in the chair as the waiter approached the table. "I guess we better order some lunch." She smiled, leading into a chuckle while picking up the menu.

"I think we better." Joseph smiled and looked up at the waiter, giving him his order followed by Clarisse. And as he walked away, Joseph picked up his glass and looked back at Clarisse "So tell me about everyone back at the Palace, give me a report on them." He smiled.

"Gladly," Clarisse smiled across the table at him as he sipped his drink, and as they waited for their food Clarisse updated Joseph on all the team back at the Palace.

After they had eaten they took a slow walk back to the hotel, catching up a little more as they did.

"Can I ask you something?" Joseph asked, looking at Clarisse as she slowly lifted her head to look at him.

"Of course you can." She smiled, looking ahead as they continued walking back to the hotel.

"How come you never told me that Rupert had given you his blessing to remarry?" He asked and watched as she stopped.

Looking up at him "How did you know about that?" She asked.

"Well Pierre..." He started and watched as Clarisse shook her head, starting to walk away "Clarisse.." He exclaimed after her and watched as she began running back towards the hotel.

Walking into her suite a short time later, standing beside the couch where Pierre slept. "Pierre Andrew Renaldi." Clarisse said firmly as Joseph came rushing in the door.

"What's going on?" Asked her father, Nicolai as Joseph shut the door.

"Pierre Andrew Renaldi." Clarisse said again, putting her hands on her hips as he slowly opened his eyes. "Sit up, I need to talk to you." She said, walking away to stand by the fireplace.

"What have I done?" Pierre said, looking at his papa and Joseph as they stood side by side "Oh hey Joe." He said while putting his hand up to him, then looked back at his mother.

"Did you tell Joseph that your father had given me his blessing to remarry?" Clarisse said, trying to remain calm.

"Oh, that!" Pierre answered, not taking his eyes from her.

"Yes, that! How did you know about that?" She asked.

"I found the letter," He said and looked down at his hands.

"I beg your pardon? You found the letter?" She asked in surprise and watched as he nodded slowly "What are you doing going through my things?"

"I was looking for something, I just came across it by accident." Pierre said while looking up at her as she started pacing the floor by the fireplace "I don't see what the big deal is, so what if father gave you his blessing to remarry. It just goes to show that he loved you, and didn't want you to be alone for the rest of your life." He said and watched as she slowly turned to face him, glaring across at him "And besides, it's not like you don't love Joseph... and he loves you back, so... like I said, I don't really see what the big deal is." He said with a shrug as Clarisse put her hands up, covering her face as she shook her head.

"You don't see what the big deal is?" Clarisse asked a moment later as she lowered her hands, and watched him as he shook his head and stood up.

"No I don't, you are always hiding your feelings when really you just need to face the facts and admit that you love him and be with him. I know that Joseph will look after you and treat you right, even father knew!" He answered "You've already lost him once, don't lose him again." He added, and watched as she slowly moved over to the couch to sit down. "Mother?" He said softly as Joseph and Nicolai looked at each other.

Shaking her head, she looked up at him "I had no idea that you felt that way."

"Why would you? You never talked to me and Philippe about this stuff, sure you talked to us about staying at the Palace, tried your best about talking to us about girls, even though it was fathers job. You kept your own personal feelings to yourself because you wanted what was best for Philippe and I." He said moving to kneel beside her "Mother, I flew the nest 3 years ago and Philippe will be leaving soon too..." He said softly while taking her hands in his "It's about time you put yourself first, we as your sons and yes I can talk for Philippe too, as he agrees with me on this, we both agree that you need to put yourself first, make yourself happy, it's what we want and what father wanted." He said looking over at Joseph, smirking a little "And what better man to commit too?" He said looking back at his mother.

"But..." She said, looking up into his eyes.

"I know he will love you just as much as father, maybe more." He whispered in her ear as she slowly looked down and closed her eyes.

"I agree with him, darling." Nicolai said softly and watched as both Pierre and Clarisse looked over at him "You raised the boys as best as you could, put their needs before your own. You raised them well, Rupert would be very proud. You held it together, looking after yourself, looking after the boys and running a country, not many people could do that, you know."

"I agree." Pierre said, looking back at his mother.

"It's time to do something for yourself." Nicolai said softly and watched as Clarisse lent forward, placing her elbows on her legs as she covered her face with her hands.

Sitting up straight and lowering her arms, Clarisse stood just a moment later. "Father, Pierre... can you leave us please?" She said looking between the too.

"Of course," Pierre nodded and kissed her cheek.

"Do the right thing," Nicolai said softly and made his way over to the door with Pierre, walking out seconds later.

Joseph watched as Clarisse moved to stand by the balcony doors, her arms folded. Moving he sat down in one of the chairs, giving her time. But after 10 minutes of silence, Joseph sat forward, resting his arms on his legs and clasped his hands together, fingers locked.

"You no, 5 years ago I was left with mixed signals..." Joseph started and watched as Clarisse looked over at him "And again I'm left with mixed signals, one minute you are happy, giving me the impression that you want to be with me and then the next you go all cold, and that you don't want to be with me." He said, looking down at the floor. "If you don't want to be with me that's fine..."

"It's just..." Clarisse interrupted as she turned to face him fully "I don't know if I'm ready, and seeing the look in your eyes yesterday.." She said with a small shake of her head as Joseph stood, making his way over to her.

"What look?" He asked, coming to stand in front of her.

"The look that says you still want children..." Clarisse started while lowering her head for a moment "I know we talked about this before, but when you talked to me yesterday, telling me what Amy done..." She said softly while studying his face "I saw it in your eyes that you long to have a child..."

"Please," Joseph interrupted.

"No, listen..." Clarisse interrupted "Don't stay with me when, like I said 5 years ago, I can't give you what you want." She said, feeling him taking her hands "Go find yourself someone who can make you happy, and give you children too."

"Oh come on, yes I did want children but I'm past that now.. all I want is you." He said bringing her hands up to his face, kissing the palm of her hands.

"Oh come on now, you are the same age as me... and there are plenty of men out there who are a lot older than you, and they are still having children." She said while reaching up, cupping his cheek as he closed his eyes.

"I want to be with you, and only you." Joseph said softly, slowly opening his eyes.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet..." Clarisse said while shaking her head a little and stepped back. "When Rupert and I married, we mapped out everything... we were meant to spend the rest of our lifes together." She said sadly, moving to sit on the edge of the couch.

"I understand," Joseph nodded as he moved to sit beside her. "And if you're not ready now then thats fine, I will wait." He said softly while taking hold of her hand as she looked up into his eyes.

 **Later that afternoon.**

Standing in her bedroom doorway, Clarisse watched as her father sat reading a book. Slowly she walked over and knelt down beside his chair, bringing him from the fantasy world of his book to look at her.

"Hello, darling." He smiled while closing the book, and leant forward placing it down on the coffee table in front of him "Are you ok?" He asked while sitting back.

"I need some advice, father." She said, looking up into his eyes.

"I see," He said with a slight nod "Well that I can do." He smiled at her "Is it about everything that's going on?" He asked, and watched her as she nodded while looking down at her hands on the arm of his chair.

"What do I do?" She asked and looked back up at him.

"What does your heart say?" He asked.

Looking away, she thought a moment before looking back at him "My heart whenever he is near goes crazy, I do love him father, but can I be with him... wouldn't it go against everything I was brought up to be?" She asked and watched as he shook his head.

"It wouldn't, he's no longer married, remember? And if you're worried about that sister of yours, then please don't be." He said while turning in his seat to face her "She didn't care about your feelings, Joseph's or even Ruperts..." He added while putting his hands on hers "So why should you hers?" He added and watched as she closed her eyes, lowering her head.

"I don't know if I could go another day without him," Clarisse said quietly.

"Then darling, it's time to put your feelings first, you have Rupert's blessing and even your sons blessing." Nicolai said, watching her as she remained looking down.

"But do I have your blessing?" Clarisse asked as she opened her eyes, looking up at him.

"You bet you do!" Nicolai exclaimed "If it makes you happy, you will always have my blessing, darling.. and I know that Joseph will make you very very happy." He smiled, then frowned as Clarisse sat back on her heels, tears rolling down her cheeks "You don't have to forget about Rupert, he will always be there with you... watching over you and the boys." He said softly while reaching over, wiping away her tears. "But it's time to move on, darling." He whispered and leant forward, kissing her forehead before wrapping his arms around her shoulders, holding her close as she cried.

 **That evening.**

Joseph stood watching Clarisse as she sat on the bench, her head tipped back, looking up at the night sky as it grew dark. He wondered what she was thinking, he often wondered that over the years. She never gave much away, only a selected few knew.

Slowly he made his way over to her, sitting down beside her. "It's a beautiful view from here, isn't it?" He asked, and watched as she raised her head to look at him.

"Yes," She nodded "It is, it's very beautiful." She said and looked out at it once again.

"I hope that you are ok?" He asked, watching her.

"I'm fine..." She said looking back at him "Are you?" She asked.

"I'm fine too," He said and looked up into the sky "They said there will be rain tonight." He said after a moment.

"I heard that too." Clarisse nodded while looking down, where it fell silent between them.

"I don't know if I told you this already, but you look beautiful today." He said, watching her raise her head to look at him.

"You didn't, but thank you." She nodded, giving him a small smile.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked "I promise it isn't anything like the thing I asked earlier..."

"Which I didn't answer?" Clarisse interrupted.

"It doesn't matter, you don't have to tell me." He answered.

"Yes it does, and the reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't want to accept it, I hated talking to him about that topic and marrying someone else really was the last thing on my mind, having that letter telling me had given his blessing and to marry you, shocked me." She said as Joseph looked back at her.

"I can understand that." Joseph nodded.

"I'm sorry for the way I have been acting now, and all those years ago... and I apologize if I had given you mixed signals." She said and looked away, out at the view. "What was it you wanted to ask me?" She asked.

Turning to face her, he took her hand in his and watched as she looked at him "Would you give me a chance? At least to prove myself?" He asked, looking into her eyes. But before she had any chance to answer it started raining, hard. So grabbing her hard, they made a dash back to the hotel.

"Wait!" Clarisse exclaimed, pulling her hand free, coming to a stop.

"Come on, we are going to get wet!" Joseph exclaimed as he turned to face her.

"It's a bit late for that." Clarisse said while raising her arms, letting the rain pour over her as she laughed. "I need to tell you something..." She said, lowering her arms.

"Ok..." Joseph said while putting his hands on his hips, watching her as she lowered her gaze.

Seeing the rain soak through his shirt, forcing it to cling to his skin she bit her bottom lip. Smiling seconds later, she looked back up into his eyes "I can't go another day without you..."

"Really?" He asked, letting his hands fall down at his sides and watched as she nodded.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, and watched as seconds later he hurried forward and flung his arms around her. Sharing a deep kiss in the rain as she locked her arms around his neck, laughing out as he lifted her off her feet.


	14. Someone Special

_Thank you all so much for reading and for the lovely reviews, and to answer Clarisse's question; Shamelessly I haven't actually seen that film, so I haven't got a clue which kiss you are talking about? This idea just popped into my head and because I thought it was very romantic, I used it :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 14: Someone Special.**

Christmas Day.

The past several months have past in a blur for everyone at the Palace, to say Christmas came around in a blink of an eye is an understatement. No one can quite get their heads around the fact that it is Christmas, already. After Pierre's graduation, he decided to take some time to himself and travel around America, returning to Genovia just a few days ago to spend the holidays with his mother, papa and Joseph at the Palace. And Philippe left for America in August, he was hoping to return to Genovia for Christmas, but was unable to.

For Clarisse, even though it's gone fast since she returned from England with Joseph, it's been a hard few months. Not long after returning, her mother passed away, leaving her father heartbroken. And so he wouldn't be alone after her passing, Clarisse moved him into the Palace. Which in return has brought them even closer, and whenever she's busy he and Joseph spend time together. Many times she's returned to them talking, laughing and sharing a joke together.

Ever since Clarisse finally told Joseph that she couldn't go another day without him, their relationship has gone from strength to strength. And even though they are taking day by day, it's getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. Since returning back in August, both Clarisse and Joseph made the decision to try and keep their relationship as quiet for as long they can. To the outside world he was simply her bodyguard, but behind closed doors they were a couple.

And now it was to be their first Christmas together, Clarisse hardly slept a wink last night. She was full of excitement, and couldn't wait to see what the day held for them. A little before 7, she decided to get up and get ready for her day, trying to sleep now was pointless seeing though she spent most of the night awake anyway.

And after having a soak in the bath, she wrapped herself in her robe before rubbing her damp hair with the towel. Hearing someone knocking on her suite door she made her way out to answer it, dropping the towel in the basket as she passed. Moments later she opened the door to see Joseph stood smiling at her, his arms behind his back.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled, moving one arm forward to reveal a huge flower bouquet.

"Merry Christmas, and thank you!" Clarisse exclaimed as she took them from his arm "But what are you doing knocking on the door?" She asked, and stepped back to let him past.

"Because I wanted to surprise you." He smiled walking into her suite, shutting the door behind himself. "Did you sleep much?" He asked "I couldn't sleep at all."

"Neither could I." Clarisse answered while looking back at him over her shoulder as she made her way over to the table.

Watching her as she placed the flowers down on her table, he suddenly noticed that her hair was wet. Smiling at her as she turned around, making her way back over to him "I have something else for you." He grinned.

"You do?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes I do." He nodded and brought his other arm forward. Seeing a golf club with a red christmas bow attached, Clarisse couldn't help but laugh. "I got your name engraved on it too." He smiled, showing her and watched as she took it "I hope you like it."

"I love it," She nodded and looked up at him "We will have to go to the course after New Year." She smiled and looked back down at it.

"Great! I've not seen you play since August..."

"What?" Clarisse asked, looking up at him in surprise "The last time I played was when we was in England." She said, nodding her head seconds later "So it was you, watching me was it?" She asked, smirking up at him.

"Yes, I am the guilty one." He smirked, stepping closer to her "I'm sorry, I love watching you play, I can't help it." He grinned.

"Hmmm." She simply answered, followed with a small giggle as he smiled at her.

"Aww I made you blush?" He smiled, putting his hands on her sides as she slowly looked up into his eyes.

"Of course, I just feel embarrassed knowing now that you were watching me." She answered. "I had some idea, but couldn't prove it until now." She smirked.

"What's wrong with that? You play amazingly." He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Well I was taught by the best..." She smiled and stepped back "I best go and get dressed for breakfast." She added and made her way over to the door. "I won't be long." She smiled back at him before disappearing into her bedroom.

"Alright, I'll be waiting." He smiled, making himself busy while she was getting ready.

After she was dressed she appeared in her bedroom doorway, just as Joseph raised his arms over his shoulder, her new golf club in his hands "Please watch my lights!" Clarisse exclaimed, causing Joseph to duck and drop the club. "What were you doing?" She asked, starting to laugh.

"Just practicing my swing," He smiled while bending over, picking up the club "I was making sure I didn't hit anything, don't worry." He laughed while standing up straight and watched as she made her way over to him. "You look beautiful." He smiled, putting his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." She smiled up at him "Shall we go down?" She asked.

"Sure." He nodded, putting the club away in a safe place as Clarisse made her way over to the door, followed by Joseph.

Heading down the stairs, Clarisse was surprised to see Pierre stood waiting for them in the foyer. "Good morning, darling." Clarisse smiled as she made her way down.

"Good morning, Mother." He smiled and kissed her cheek as she stood beside him "Before breakfast can you come with me?" He asked, taking her hand and began leading her over to the living room door.

"Not like I have much of a choice, is it?" Clarisse teased and watched as Pierre looked back at her, smiling.

"Not really," He smirked and continued leading her through the door.

Seeing a huge present beside the Christmas tree, Clarisse stopped in surprise and looked at Pierre. "Is that for..."

"Merry Christmas, Mother." He smiled and walked over to stand beside it. "Hope you like it." He nodded towards it "Go on, open it." He smiled as Joseph stood beside him.

"Well I... I didn't expect anything like this..." She said, starting to unwrap it "You normally get me earrings." She added as Pierre and Joseph looked at each other.

"I know, but this year I thought I would do something different." Pierre smiled and looked back at her "It's actually from both Philippe and I, he's just sorry he couldn't be here..."

"SURPRISE!" Philippe exclaimed while jumping up out the box as Clarisse screamed and jumped back, covering her face with her hands as she did.

"Mother?" Pierre laughed, as she stood open mouthed at Philippe stood with his arms out to her.

"What are you doing here?" She said finally, and hugged Philippe.

"Merry Christmas, mother." He smiled and kissed her cheek "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well you did that." She said while pulling her head back to look at him "I just can't believe you're here." She smiled and hugged him again.

"Neither can I," He smiled across at Pierre and Joseph "Merry Christmas, Joe." He smiled, putting his hand up to him.

"Merry Christmas!" Joseph smiled back and looked back at Clarisse as she put her hands up to cup Philippe's face.

"I can't believe you're here," She said, getting teary "Both my boys home for Christmas." She smiled as Pierre moved closer, putting his arm around her.

"Hey Joe, can you get a photo please?" Philippe asked "The camera is on the coffee table."

"Of course." He smiled and grabbed the camera "Alright, say... Merry Christmas!" He exclaimed and took the photo as they all cheered Merry Christmas.

Stepping from the box, Philippe smiled "Is there any breakfast, I'm starving."

"Of course, there is plenty." Clarisse smiled "Let's go eat." She said leading the way through to the breakfast room.

"When did you get in, Philippe?" Joseph asked as they walked through the door.

"This morning, so if you don't mind mother, I'm going to miss church this morning and catch up on some sleep." He said and grabbed a plate.

"That's fine, just as long as you are with us for dinner?" She asked and looked over at the door as her father walked in. "Merry Christmas, father." She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Merry Christmas to you too," He smiled at her then looked up to see Philippe walking towards him.

"Papa!" Philippe exclaimed and hugged him "Merry Christmas."

"When, what, how?" He exclaimed and looked up at him as he stepped back and laughed.

"This morning, yes I am here and I lied, I wanted to surprise you all." He smiled, putting his arm around Nicolai's shoulders "I've been coming from the start, I just told you all I couldn't make it." He grinned.

"Now that's cheeky!" He smiled at him then at Clarisse as she stood watching them.

"A perfect Christmas." She smiled.

"Yep, now let's eat! Please!" Philippe exclaimed as everyone laughed.

After they had eaten breakfast, everyone except for Philippe left for morning mass. Something Clarisse has always done ever since she became Queen, even making time to mingle with the villagers before returning back to the Palace.

However, the mood was about to change. Walking through the main Palace doors, everyone stopped when they saw who was stood in the foyer waiting for them.

"Pierre, Joseph, Clarisse... " She said following them as they stood in a line, looking at the last one "Father." She said giving a small smile.

"What are you doing here, Amy?" Asked Clarisse.

"I came to see my, our father." Amy said looking at her then back to Nicolai "Merry Christmas, father." She said.

"Why now? You haven't bothered before." Clarisse said and watched as Amy looked back at her "Not even when mother died you didn't come visit."

"I knew I wouldn't be wanted..."

"And what makes you think you are wanted now?" Clarisse interrupted.

"Well things have changed..." She said and looked across at Joseph "I see you didn't waste anytime in getting back here, your feet under the table and all." She said coldly.

"I beg your..." He started, but stopped when he felt a hand on his arm. Looking back he saw Clarisse looking at him, shaking her head.

"She's not worth it," She whispered, letting go of his arm.

"And I see that you are together, that's lovely... a cozy Christmas and all."

"What do you want Amy!" Nicolai asked. "You can't just turn up after all this time and expect us to be happy to see you."

"Actually, there was good reason why I couldn't attend mother's funeral..." She said looking towards the living room door as a man appeared carrying a small bundle. "Father, I want you to meet Lilly." She said and watched as everyone looked over at the man holding Lilly "Your Granddaughter." She said, catching Clarisse look over at her quickly. "Yes that's right, your Granddaughter." She added as her and Clarisse glared at each other.

"She's your baby?" Nicolai asked, looking back over at her.

"Yes," She nodded "And I thought you would like to meet her." She asked, looking over at Joseph as he looked back at Clarisse before looking down at the floor.

"Clarisse, can Amy and I go and talk in the library?" Nicolai asked.

"Of course, father." Clarisse nodded and watched as he looked back at Amy before leading her and the man carrying Lilly through to the library.

Walking through the living room door an hour later, Philippe stopped and noticed something was wrong. Pierre was sat slumped in a chair, his head resting on his hand. Joseph sat on one of the arms of the sofa and Clarisse stood staring out the window, her arms folded. Walking over he sat down, feeling the tension as Joseph looked at him.

"You told them then?" Philippe asked while looking at his brother.

Raising his head, quickly sitting up "Philippe!" Pierre exclaimed.

"Told us what?" Clarisse asked while looking over at them.

"Ah!" Philippe said, slowly looking over at his mother as she made her way over to them.

"Told us what?" Clarisse asked and watched as Pierre and Philippe looked at each other. "Is someone going to tell me?" She asked, watching as they both looked back up at her.

"I want to abdicate the throne... Philippe and I have talked, he's quite happy to take over instead." Pierre answered.

"What?" Clarisse asked in surprise "But..."

"I want to remain in England, I think it's a beautiful place... and I want to join the church." Pierre said and watched as Clarisse slowly sat down on the edge of the coffee table.

Looking down, she thought a moment before looking back up at him "And you've really thought about this, have you?" She asked.

"I have, I have given it a lot of thought actually and it's something I am very passionate about... I hope you understand, mother." Pierre said while sitting forward.

Looking down, Clarisse watched as Pierre took hold of her hands. "Of course I understand, if it's something you really want then who am I to stand in your way?" She said.

"Really?" Pierre asked in surprise.

"Of course," She stood and moved to stand by the window again as Pierre and Philippe looked at each other in confusion, the room falling silent.

An hour later, Nicolai returned. Seeing the boys sat, bored on the sofa as Joseph sat at the table reading a book and Clarisse still stood by the window. "She's gone." He said, watching as everyone looked over at him. "I told her after what she's done I want nothing to do with her."

"Even after she gave you a Granddaughter?" Clarisse asked as Nicolai shook his head.

"She didn't want to know when your mother was sick, and she hasn't bothered with us for the last 5 years." He said walking over to her, putting his hands on the tops of her arms "Now can we enjoy the rest of this day? Please?" He asked and watched as Clarisse looked down, slowly nodding "Great." He smiled and hugged her.

"Who gave you a Granddaughter?" Philippe asked, and yelped as Pierre kicked his foot. "What did you do that for?" He exclaimed.

"I will tell you later." Pierre said quietly.

"No no it's ok," Nicolai said as everyone looked towards him "Amy was here, she had a baby two months ago. She was full of excuses as always, and because she hasn't bothered with us like I said, I told her to leave and not to come back. Yes it will hurt not seeing or knowing Lilly, but she hasn't wanted to know or bother with us..."

"You didn't have to do that, father." Clarisse said as Nicolai looked back at her "She's still your daughter."

"Yes, and so are you? And what she's put you through, and not bothering with us I don't want someone like that in my life." Nicolai said "I'm getting old, I want to live the rest of my life happy, not sad and wondering whats going to happen next." He said sadly.

"I understand." Clarisse nodded and hugged him. "Love you, father."

"And I love you." Nicolai whispered and kissed her cheek. "Right now, enough of this sad talk..." He exclaimed while looking around at everyone "Let's enjoy ourselves! As I think it's time we exchanged presents, don't you?" He asked and made his way over to the tree.

"But we normally do that in the evening, papa." Philippe said while standing up.

"I think we can make a few changes, don't you?" Clarisse said while looking over at him "I mean there are going to be plenty in the future anyway, so why not start now." She smiled and looked across at Pierre.

"Sorry, mother..." Pierre said as she made her way over to him.

"Don't be silly," She said while putting her hands up to cup his face "It's what you want, and as long as it makes you happy then I am behind you one hundred and ten percent." She smiled.

"Thank you, mother." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Alright, who is the first present for." Nicolai smiled while picking up a gift, checking the tag as Clarisse and Pierre stepped apart "This ones for you, Philippe." He smiled and leant over, passing it to him.

Clarisse sat down and watched the scene unfold before her, happy that both her boys was home for Christmas and that Joseph was there to enjoy it with them along with her father. Sipping her drink she watched as Nicolai passed more gifts around, smiling across at her moments later.

 **Later that night.**

Walking through her suite door, she looked back at Joseph as he followed. "Would you like a drink?" She asked, heading over to the drinks cabinet.

"I would love one," Joseph nodded and sat down on the sofa in her suite.

"I'm so glad this day is almost over, it's been one busy day." Clarisse said as she poured herself a glass of wine and Joseph a whiskey.

"Me too," Joseph smiled over at her "It has been a good day though, even if Amy did show up." He said and watched as Clarisse looked over at him.

"Yes," She nodded while picking up the glasses, making her way over to the sofa. "I feel sorry for father though, he seems to have been caught in the middle." She said and passed him his drink before slipping off her shoes, kicking them under the coffee table.

"Thank you," He smiled while taking the glass "I know, but he seemed pretty adamant that he wanted nothing more to do with her." He said, watching her as she sat down beside him, tucking her legs up under her.

"I know," Clarisse nodded, and looked at her glass as she rested it on her thigh "I just hope that he doesn't regret it." She said sadly while looking up at him "And you, are you ok?" Clarisse asked, putting her arm along the back of the sofa, resting her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," He smiled, looking across at her.

"I saw the look on your eyes when that man brought Lilly out," She said and watched as he looked back at his drink "I'm sorry you never got to have children." She said softly.

"Hey, don't be sorry..." He said while looking back at her "People go through life having many dreams, yes some of them come true and some don't. I have learned to accept I would never have children, and I've moved on from that now. I'm happy, we are happy and we are together.. so dreams do come true, you know." He smiled and lent closer "I love you."

"I love you too," She smiled and lent closer, sharing a kiss. "Wait here a moment," She said a few seconds later, and quickly stood to her feet while putting her glass on the coffee table.

"Where are you going?" He asked, watching her as she made her way over to her bedroom.

"I'll be back." She smiled back at him before disappearing into her bedroom. Returning just a moment later "I have an extra present for you." She smiled, walking back over to the sofa.

"But you've already given me enough." Joseph exclaimed as Clarisse sat back down how she was. Learning forward he placed his glass on the coffee table beside Clarisse's and sat back.

"This one is extra special," She smiled and handed him a wrapped box. "Just hope you like it." She said with a small shrug.

"I will love it," He smiled at her and began unwrapping the gift. Opening it a moment later to find a brand new watch inside. "Wow!" He exclaimed while taking it out. "You really didn't have to do this, you know." He said and looked at her.

"I know, but I wanted too." She smiled and lent closer, putting her arm over to take the watch and turn it around "It's engraved too." She smiled, showing him.

"You're one in a million, thank you for being you." He said quietly and looked back at her "Thank you so much," He smiled and kissed her a couple times before looking back at the watch "I'm going to wear it with pride." He smiled.

Clarisse sat and watched as he removed his other watch, putting it on the coffee table before sitting back to put his new one on. "That looks great on you." She smiled as Joseph nodded, and looked at her.

"I have something extra for you too." He smiled and looked down, pulling out a small wrapped box out of his shirt pocket. "It's just something that's special too me, and I wanted you to have it." He said, passing it to her.

"Thank you," She smiled and looked down to unwrap it. Opening it a moment later she was surprised to see a beautiful antique rose brooch. "This is beautiful." She said softly while placing her hand up onto her chest.

"It was my grandmothers, and I wanted you to have it." He said and watched as she looked up at him.

"Oh, I can't take this." She said with a shake of her head.

"Please, it's special to me like you are, I want you to have it." He answered and watched as she looked back down it.

"Only if you're sure." She said, looking back up at him.

"I'm very sure, she would of loved you and I know that she would of wanted you to have it." He smiled.

Studying it a moment before looking back up at him "How come you're giving it to me, how come you never gave it to Amy?" She asked.

"Because in my eyes she didn't deserve it, she wasn't special enough." He said looking away, as Clarisse looked down at it again. "And I know she wouldn't of appreciated it like you." He said looking back at her and watched as she slowly looked back up at him.

"Thank you, Joseph." She smiled, studying his face for just a moment before standing to her feet and placed the box down on the coffee table. Turning she took Joseph's hand, making him stand up.

"Clarisse?" He asked, puzzled as she started leading him away from the sofa and over to her bedroom door.

"Yes?" She said while turning back to him, walking backwards, still holding onto his hand with a smile.

"Nothing." He smiled, letting her lead the way.


	15. A Shock Or Two

_Thank you all so much for all the reviews and for reading :) It's very much appreciated, and always will be! :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 15: A Shock Or Two...**

Sitting at her dressing table, Clarisse studied her diary for several moments before slowly looking up at herself in the mirror. Slumping back in the chair, her mind wondered off as the shower she had turned on just moments before was soon forgotten about. However, a short time later she was soon pulled from her daydream and back to reality when she heard her suite door closing. Closing her diary, she quickly looked towards the bedroom door before standing to her feet and hurrying into the bathroom, closing the door behind her as quickly as she could.

Standing in the doorway, Joseph looked around the room before laying his eyes on the bathroom door. "Clarisse?" He called out upon hearing the shower running "Are you ok?" He asked, making his way over to the door. Not getting an answer he knocked twice "Clarisse?"

"Yes?" She called from behind the door.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking down at the door handle, tempted to try it.

"Yes, just about to get in the shower. Go on down, I will be down as soon as I'm ready." She answered.

"Ok, as long as you're sure that you are ok?" He asked again, not taking his eyes from the door.

"Uh huh, I'm absolutely fine." Clarisse answered.

"Alright, I will see you downstairs then..." He said, hesitating a moment before walking away.

Listening at the door for a moment before she shook her head, walking away from the door and stepping into the shower a moment later. Once she was ready, she headed downstairs and straight for her office. Hurrying through the door, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Joseph sat at her desk waiting for her.

Hearing the sudden stop, Joseph turned quickly and looked straight at Clarisse as she stood watching him. "There you are, I was beginning to worry." He said, standing up.

"I told you I would be down when I was ready," She said and looked down as she made her way around her desk.

"Yes you did... Clarisse?" He said softly and watched as she stood behind her desk and slowly looked up at him "Are you sure that you are ok?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm just tired... I didn't sleep much last night." She said with a slight nod.

"Then why didn't you sleep in?" He asked, making his way around to her behind the desk.

"Sleep in?" She asked, starting to laugh "Yes, I can really do that, can't I?" She asked more seriously, turning her head to look up into his eyes as he stood beside her.

"You are working too hard, if you carry on like this you will burn yourself out again." He said softly, putting his hand on her lower back and watched as she looked back down at her desk. "Tell me what's wrong?" He whispered, and watched as she slowly looked back up at him. "Please?"

Trying to find the words, but unable to find them she shook her head "I can't..." She whispered and looked away.

Studying her a moment, deciding not to push her he stepped back "Alright!" He said and walked out as Clarisse watched him.

Slowly she sat down at her desk, holding her head in her hands.

Even when Charlotte came in with her morning tea and paperwork, she didn't move. Worried, Charlotte went for help. And a short time later, she stood near the door looking across the room at her Queen, with the one person who she knew would be able to bring her around.

"How long has she been like this?" He asked, looking at Charlotte stood beside him.

"For half an hour now, maybe more... I have no idea how long she was like this before I came with her morning tea." Charlotte answered, looking at the man beside her.

"Okay, well you done the right thing by coming to me." He said and looked back at his daughter sat at her desk. "I will take it from here." He said and slowly made his way over to the desk. "Can you see to it that we won't be disturbed?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Of course." Charlotte nodded, leaving them too it.

Moving a chair around to sit beside her, not taking his eyes from her as she remained with her head in her hands. Sitting down a moment later, he reached out and took her hand, pulling it towards him as she sat startled. Looking at him momentarily before starting to cry, she lowered her head as her father reached his arm out to her. "Come here?" He whispered softly while wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she buried her face in his shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong?" He asked softly a moment later and waited for an answer.

Slowly she lifted her head, taking the tissue her father offered and wiped her eyes. "I'm forty six years old, my husband passed away six years ago, I have two sons one is twenty two and the other is nineteen... I'm Queen of a country, and..." She sobbed and covered her eyes with one of her hands.

Watching his daughter as she cried, he took hold of her other hand and nodded slightly "And you're pregnant?" He asked softly, watching as she raised her head a little.

"I don't know.." She shrugged, and looked up at her fathers face as the tears escaped her eyes.

Seeing a scared little girl, his scared little girl Nicolai wrapped his arms around her holding her close as she cried. No words were spoken, just thoughts unshared.

"How could I have let this happen?" She cried a short time later, sitting back. "I didn't even think it was possible for me anymore, for years Rupert and I... and it never happened." She said sadly while closing her eyes and shook her head.

"I know darling, I know." Nicolai said softly, not really knowing what to say. "I guess it's just one of those things." He said and gently took her hand, watching as Clarisse looked up at him "But have you ever thought... it might not of been you with the problem? And that it may have been Rupert?" He asked.

"But I did fall pregnant before, and lost the baby..." She said while looking down at her hands.

"Yes you did, that was unfortunate but it doesn't prove that it was you who had the problem." Nicolai said and watched as Clarisse looked up at him, a couple tears escaping her eyes.

"It's not fair!" Shaking her head she put her hand up to her eyes "I've brought shame on my family and my country, I'm a widow, a Queen... and I might be pregnant."

"You have not brought shame on anyone, so don't ever think that! And if your country think that, then..." Pausing a moment as Clarisse looked up at him "Then that's their problem, you are human... you are allowed a private life and if that means you having a boyfriend, and having a baby then so be it, it's none of their business!" He said and watched her for several seconds. "Have you said anything to Joseph?" He asked.

Shaking her head she looked up at him "I haven't had a chance, I tried to this morning but I couldn't find the right words." She answered.

"But..." He began to answer, before being interrupted by the phone. They both stared at it for several seconds before Clarisse tried to compose herself as best as she could, turning in her seat to answer it seconds later "Hello, Clarisse speaking."

"Mother, it's Philippe... I'm sorry to call so early." Came the voice on the other end.

"That's ok, how are you darling?" She answered while turning to her father.

"Are you ok? You sound upset?" He asked.

"I'm ok," She lied as her father tilted his head at her "Are you ok? You don't normally call until later on... is everything alright?" She asked.

"I need you, I'm alright so please don't panic..."

"Are you in trouble?" She interrupted.

"No, I just need you to come here as soon as you can... can you do that?" He asked.

"Philippe, you are scaring me now... what's going on." She asked.

"Please don't panic, I am absolutely fine..." He paused "Please can you come?" He asked.

"I will be there as soon as I can..."

"Thank you." He said and hung up before anything else was said.

Looking at the phone in her hands "I need to go." She said and put the phone down, going to stand up but stopped when she felt a hand on her arm.

"But what about you?" Nicolai asked.

"I can wait," She said and stood up "When my son calls asking for my help then I need to answer it."

"But you need to see a doctor." He said, pleading with her as he stood to his feet "Find out for sure." He said softly while looking into her eyes.

"I will do it when I return, right now my son needs me..." She said and picked up her phone, putting a call through to security as her father watched.

Moments later she was hurrying up to her suite to pack a bag, as her father tried to find Joseph. Once she was ready she headed down and handed her bag to Robert, who hurried it out to the waiting car.

Seeing her father enter the foyer, Clarisse turned to face him "Did you find him?" She asked.

"No," He said while shaking his head and looked at Charlotte "Can you give us a moment?" He asked.

"Of course," She nodded and disappeared outside with Robert.

"Father, please don't do this now..." Clarisse started and stopped as he took her hands in his.

"I'm not going to say anything, just this..." He said and looked up into her eyes "I know if it was me in your shoes and one of my girls called for help then I would do the same, I am here, remember that.. and that I will support you whatever happens." He said and lent closer, kissing her cheek "Just please take it easy."

Studying his face, she found herself nodding "I will, thank you father." She said and stepped closer giving him a hug "I love you." She whispered in his ear and stepped back.

"I love you too," He said giving her hand a small squeeze.

Smiling as he let go "I will see you when I return." She said, making her way over to the door.

"I will be here." He said and watched as she opened the door "And please," Pausing as she looked back at him "Try not to worry about what people will think." He said softly.

"I won't..."

"And please try not to worry about Philippe, and yes I know that's easier said than done... Now go and I will look for Joseph, and let him know where you've gone.. Call me when you land and let me know what's going on with him."

"I will, and thank you." She nodded, giving him a small smile before walking out.

Landing in San Francisco hours later, Clarisse was surprised to see Pierre appear at the door of Genovia One.

"Pierre? What are you doing here?" She asked, giving him a hug. Stepping back a moment later, she looked up at him "What's going on? Is Philippe ok?" She asked and turned her head as Robert walked up behind her.

"I will explain everything in the car." He said reaching out for her bag "Where's Joseph?" He asked looking at Robert then back to his mother.

"Oh he... we couldn't find him.. he is probably on his way now." She answered, following him down the steps to the waiting the car.

"I see." He nodded and opened the car door "I'm surprised you only brought Robert with you too." He said and watched her climb in the car.

"I thought it best not to bring everyone, plus we needed to leave in a hurry and if we were to bring everyone then it would have took longer and would have needed a lot more planning." She said while looking at him.

"True." He nodded and closed the door.

"Did you want me to drive?" Robert asked.

"If you don't mind?" Pierre said "I can explain everything to mother then."

"Of course," He smiled and opened the car door as Pierre passed him the car keys. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital." He answered and looked at him.

An hour later, Clarisse was stood at the window in a private office on the maternity ward of the hospital. Robert was stood guarding the door, while Pierre went to find Philippe. As she waited for her boys to return she tried to get her head around everything that she was told in the car. Shaking her head she closed her eyes, and put her hands up in front of her face, saying a silent prayer to herself.

"Please Rupert, give me the strength to deal with this." She whispered and opened her eyes. Looking up into the night sky, searching the stars "I wish you were here." She said softly and turned her head to the side as the door opened.

"Mother?" Philippe said softly while closing the door and turning back to her as she turned to face him.

Seeing the scared look in his eyes, all the anger that she held just melted away. Walking over to him she gave him a warm hug, taking him by surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked while stepping back, looking up at him.

"I couldn't... I tried to many times, but I just couldn't find the right words." He answered and watched as she took his hand, leading him over to the chairs. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He added as they both took a seat.

"Don't be, it's ok." She nodded and patted his hand as she looked up into his eyes "And I understand, believe me." She said while studying his face "So tell me, are you a father yet?" She asked and watched as he lowered his head.

"Not yet," He answered with a shake of his head "Thank you for coming, I'm sorry I scared you." He said and and looked up at her.

"You're welcome," She said with a small smile and looked up into his eyes, nodding slightly. "Tell me about her?" She asked while sitting back in the chair, still holding onto his hand.

"Well her name is Helen, and aside from you, she's the most beautiful woman on this earth." He said, smiling to himself as Clarisse watched.

"Did you meet her at university?" She asked, watching him as he nodded.

"I did," He said, looking across at her "This doesn't seem right, it doesn't feel real."

"What doesn't feel real?" She asked, sitting forward slightly.

"Us? Here talking like this?" He answered while looking at her "I expected you to be angry, shouting at me... not calm and collected like this."

"Oh believe me, I was very angry... but then you, my baby, walked through the door and I saw how scared you looked and all the anger I had just melted away." She said, waving her hand before looking back up at him. "You're about to become a father, that's one of the greatest gifts in the world.. I can't be angry at you for that. Yes I am shocked that this is happening now, with you being still so young but that will pass." She said and watched as he lowered his head, closing his eyes as he did.

"I need to talk to you about something..." He said, looking up into her eyes for just a second before starting to cry.

"Oh Philippe," Clarisse exclaimed while wrapping her arm around his shoulders "Tell me, what's wrong?" She asked as he cried on her shoulder.

After a few moments he raised his head and wiped his eyes "We aren't together anymore, she doesn't want the life that I lead... and she doesn't want our baby to be brought up in the limelight." He said while leaning forward, holding his head in his hands as Clarisse rubbed his back.

"I see..." She said watching him, her heart breaking for him. "And how do you feel about it?" She asked.

"I understand, we have talked a lot about it over the last few months..." He started and raised his head, looking at his mother "We both want the best for our baby, we want them to have a normal life... even if it means we have no contact, then so be it." He said and slumped back in the chair with a heavy sigh.

"But they will have Royal blood..."

"Yes they will, but I want them to have a normal childhood, mother." He said and looked at the wall "I was brought up in the limelight because of who you and father are, I know that you both tried your best to keep me and Pierre out of the spotlight, but they knew who we were," He said and looked his mother in the eyes "They have no idea that I am about to become a father, and it's better if they don't..."

"Then that way they will be able to lead a normal life?" Clarisse finished and watched as Philippe looked back at her, slowly nodding as he did.

"I have set up a trust fund, and when they reach eighteen Helen and I will sit them down and tell them who they are." He said, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, holding his head in his hand.

"I see." Clarisse said, watching him for several seconds before looking away. "And what happens now?" She asked and slowly stood up.

Watching her as she walked slowly over to the window "We wait until Helen gives birth so we can meet him, then we leave..." He answered and looked back at the wall.

"And never look back?" Clarisse asked, turning her head to look over at him.

"Yes!" He answered and closed his eyes. "I just want him to be able to have a normal life, and not be picked on because of being a royal." He said, beginning to cry.

"Oh my dear," Clarisse said softly as she hurried over to him. "It will be ok." She soothed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sat on the arm of the chair he sat in. "It will be okay," She whispered and kissed the top of his head.

Pierre stood at the door, seeing the scene unfold through the glass. Knowing what they were talking about he thought it best not to disturb them, so he went to get some coffee instead. And once he returned he sat on one of the chairs outside the office, waiting for news. Resting his head back against the wall a short time later, just as the door opened.

"Philippe, mother?" He said, noticing she was wearing her jacket "Are you going?" He asked.

"Yes," She nodded "The doctor informed us a little while ago that it's going to take a while so I'm going to go to the hotel to get some rest." She said and looked up at Philippe "Are you sure that you're going to be okay?" She asked.

"Yes," He nodded and looked at Pierre "Why don't you go back with mother, get some rest yourself and I will call if anything changes." He said.

"Are you sure?" Pierre asked while stepping forward.

"Of course," He nodded.

"Okay, well make sure that you do call us, Philippe." Clarisse said and reached up, giving him a hug.

"I promise." He whispered in her ear and watched as she stepped back.

"I will see you soon then," She said and kissed his cheek before starting to walk on ahead.

"Did you tell her?" Pierre asked, giving his brother a quick hug.

"Yes," He nodded.

"Good." Pierre said and stepped back, looking at his young brother. "It will be ok, you'll see." He said quietly "See you later." He added and started following his mother.

The journey from the hospital to the hotel was a quiet one, Pierre noticed that his mother was deep in thought the whole time. He decided from the start not to ask her anything, in fear of upsetting her or asking the wrong thing. A short time later they arrived at the hotel, and as Pierre relaxed to get some sleep on the couch in the suite, Clarisse disappeared into the bedroom. Sitting by the window, her mind racing with so many thoughts.

Shortly after 2am she heard a knock on the door, walking through to the suite she checked on Pierre, who was fast a sleep. So leaving him to rest she crept over, and stood behind the door "Who is it?" She called.

"It's me, let me in." Came the voice from the other side of the door. Hearing the familiar voice, Clarisse unlocked the door and opened it for him "I came as soon as I could." He said walking through the door, turning to her once inside.

"Thank you." She said, closing the door and turned to him "Sorry I left in such a hurry."

"It's okay, your father explained that Philippe needed help..." He said "He also told me about what you talked about before you got the call, why couldn't you tell me that you might be pregnant..."

"Shhh!" Clarisse exclaimed while grabbing his arm and quickly looked over at Pierre, who was still a sleep. "Come here." She whispered and led him through to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Opening his eyes, Pierre slowly sat up and looked towards the bedroom door. Unable to believe what he just heard "Wow!" He whispered to himself and looked over at the window, shaking his head a little.


	16. A Shock Or Two, Part 2

**Chapter 16: A Shock Or Two, Part 2.**

Turning, Joseph watched as Clarisse closed the door and turned to him "I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was someone sleeping on the couch." He said, stepping closer to her.

"It's okay, it's only Pierre. And how would you know? You have only just arrived." She said, looking up into his eyes as he put his hands gently on her sides.

"Do you really think you might be pregnant?" He asked, studying her face.

"Yes," She nodded "Yes I do."

"Why couldn't you talk to me about this, this morning?" He asked, studying her face once again.

Looking down as she stepped back "Just because..." She said softly, making her way over to the bed.

Turning, he watched as she sat down and rested back against the headboard. "Just because? What?" He asked while walking over, standing at the foot of the bed as she moved one of the pillows onto her lap, resting her arms on it.

"Because of everything, I tried to tell you this morning but couldn't find the right words..." She said, slowly looking up at him "And at that moment I decided not to tell you until I was sure because I didn't want to get your hopes up just in case I wasn't."

"But we're in this together, you and I... you can tell me anything." He said softly and moved to sit on the bed beside her.

"Then you would have been crushed if it turned out I wasn't," She said looking into his eyes as he took her hand "I couldn't do that too you, I know how much having a child meant to you and I didn't want to be that person to tell you hey I might be pregnant, then take it away from you if we find out I'm not.. it's just cruel." She said and looked down.

Watching her a moment "Okay I can understand why," He said and watched as Clarisse looked back up at him. "I wouldn't love you any less, if you had told me." He added and watched as she looked away, shaking her head a little "It hurts that you couldn't tell me, and that you were going to go through all this alone..."

Looking back at him "I would have, if it meant not hurting you." She said quietly and looked down at their hands. "I love you so much, I'm sorry I didn't tell you... I just wanted to protect you."

"I know, and I can understand." He said softly and watched as she looked up at him.

After a moments silence, Joseph climbed off the bed and walked over to the french doors as Clarisse watched. "Your father told me you were worried about what your country would think?" He said and looked over at her as she sat watching him "And I must say, I agree with what he said? It's none of their business if you have a private life!"

"It's different for you, you and father could stand there and say that but it's me, I'm the one who's Queen, worked hard all my life.. ran a country for the last 6 years alone, I'm the one who's a widow..." She said shaking her head while looking down "I will be an unmarried pregnant Queen, running a country without a husband, which may I add that I'm doing all this for my sons who are royal by blood and I'm not." She said and looked up at him.

"You don't have to do it alone, you don't have to me unmarried." He exclaimed while hurrying over to the bed and sat down opposite her as she watched him.

"What are you going on about?" She asked, watching as he took hold of her hands.

"Let's do it..." He exclaimed, his heart racing.

"Do what?" She asked.

"Get married." He said, giving her half a smile as she stared at him in surprise.

"I..." Was all she could manage before hearing a knock on her door "Come in." She called out and pulled her hands free as she looked up to see Pierre hurrying through the door.

"It's time." He said, looking at her then at Joseph as he stood up.

"Let me get changed and I will be with you." She answered, hurrying into her bathroom.

"What's going on?" A confused Joseph asked.

"Philippe is about to become a father..." He said, smiling across at him as he stood in shock "I need to go and find Robert." He said and hurried out the room.

"Well.." He said to himself while sitting down in shock.

Moments later they were in the car heading to the hospital, where Clarisse and Pierre explained to Joseph what's happening. When they arrived a nurse showed them to a private room where Helen, Philippe and baby were. Walking through the door, Clarisse couldn't help but smile when she saw Philippe holding a small bundle wrapped in a pink blanket.

"Mother, Pierre.. I want you to meet Amelia," He smiled while walking over to them "Your Granddaughter, and Niece." He said and handed her to Clarisse.

"Hello little one," Clarisse smiled down at her then up at Philippe "She's so beautiful, I'm so proud of you." She said while reaching up with her free arm, cupping his cheek as he closed his eyes, shutting out a couple stray tears. "And so is your father." She said softly and lowered her arm, taking hold of Amelia's hand.

"Thank you, mother." Philippe said and watched as she kissed Amelia's fingers whilst Joseph moved to stand at her side.

"She's adorable." Joseph smiled up at him, then back down at Amelia as he placed his hand gently on top of her head. "She's so tiny too," He said and watched as Clarisse looked up at him, with tears in her eyes "Hello Grandma." He whispered, putting his hand up to brush away her tears.

"Let me get some photos, to capture the moment." Pierre said "You know, for the future." He added as both Philippe and Clarisse looked at him.

"What a wonderful idea." Clarisse nodded and looked at Philippe as he stood staring at them. "Something we could all treasure." She said softly while putting her free arm up for him as he slowly walked over.

Pierre took several pictures before having a hold of his niece, leaving with his mother and Joseph a little while later, so Philippe could spend sometime alone with his daughter before saying goodbye.

Seeing the door opening a couple hours later, Clarisse stood to her feet and placed her jacket on the chair behind her before turning back to Philippe as he slowly made his way over to her.

"Philippe?" She whispered while putting her hands up, framing his face as he began to cry "Oh darling," She whispered, trying to hold back the tears herself as she wrapped her arms around him. "It will be ok."

After a few moments, Philippe raised his head and looked down at his mother "Can we go home?" He asked and watched as she tilted her head, nodding slightly trying not to cry.

"Of course we can, darling." She answered softly and bit her lip as she turned to stand beside him, wrapping her arm around his waist "Let's go home." She said, watching as Joseph grabbed her jacket before leading the way with Pierre.

After leaving the hospital they headed back to the hotel, dropping Robert and Philippe at his place so he could pack a few bits on the way. And after packing her stuff, Clarisse did one last scan of the bedroom before picking up the bag and walking over to the door, where Pierre scared her.

Jumping forward, he reached down and grabbed the handle of her bag "Let me take that for you." He said, walking away as Clarisse stood in surprise.

"Alright, that's the second time you have done that today.. first with the chair, then the bag." She said and looked across at Joseph "You know, don't you?" She asked, turning back to Pierre.

"Uh..."

"You heard Joseph this morning, didn't you?" She asked and watched as he slowly nodded.

"I'm sorry, when you let Joseph in it woke me up, I was about to say something to you when he said about you being pregnant..." He said and watched as Joseph moved to stand beside Clarisse. "I just froze."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were sleeping on the couch.. or I wouldn't of said anything." Joseph said.

"It's ok, you weren't to know." Pierre nodded towards him then looked back at his mother "It's great news if you are though, I know how much you and father wanted another baby..." Seeing the worried look on his mothers face, he hurried over "Yes I know that the baby isn't fathers, but..."

"No it's not that, it's just not the right time.. with Philippe, I mean." Clarisse said and looked at Joseph "Can we please just keep this between us three?" She asked and looked at Pierre "Please?"

"Of course, mother." Pierre nodded and hugged her.

"Right," Clarisse said while stepping back "If we have everything we should go and get Robert and Philippe so we can go home." She said, slipping on her jacket as both Joseph and Pierre nodded.

Leaving the hotel they headed to pick up Philippe and Robert, leaving for the airport afterwards. And just one hour later, Clarisse watched Philippe sitting with his eyes closed as they took off for home. Her gaze remained on him for over half an hour before she turned her head, looking out the window as Joseph sat down beside her.

"It will be ok." He whispered in her ear, giving her hand a squeeze. Only to sit back a moment later when he didn't get a reply.


	17. I Love You So Much

_Thank you all so much for reading and for leaving reviews, like always it's very much appreciated, thank you :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 17: I Love You So Much.**

Walking through the kitchen door, Nicolai was surprised to see Clarisse sat at the table, sipping her tea. He knew it was tea, as her favorite teapot sat on the table beside her cup. Stepping closer, she looked up.

"Well I didn't expect to see you here, when did you get back?" He asked while leaning over, kissing her forehead.

"About," She started while checking the time "Two hours ago." She added and motioned to the teapot "I've not long made some, help yourself." She said and sipped her own tea.

"Thank you." He said and grabbed a cup before sitting down beside her "So, how did it go?" He asked, pouring some tea.

"Well... Philippe has a child that he won't see again for the next 18 years." She said, looking down at her cup.

"Oh dear." He said, watching her while placing the teapot down.

"My heart breaks so much for him..." She said and looked up at him as he nodded slightly.

"Did he come back with you?" He asked and watched as she nodded.

"Yes," She answered, followed with a sigh.

"Ok, I will go and talk to him a little bit later." He said, watching his daughter as she rested her elbow on the table and her hand on her cheek, resting her head down on her hand. "And what about you? How are you?"

"The same, and before you ask I am going to see my doctor today." She said, looking up at him.

"I wasn't going to say anything, I was just going to ask if you had given it any thought?" He asked and sipped some of his tea.

"Just that this is the worst possible timing," She said and watched as he put his cup back down as Nicolai nodded a little "Anyway, I best go and see if I can get a little rest." She said while standing.

"Ok, well remember I am here if you need me." He said, closing his eyes for a second as she lent over and kissed his forehead.

"Thank you, father." She said and slowly walked out the kitchen as Nicolai watched.

After having a soak in the bath, Clarisse slowly made her way through to her suite and over to the window seat. Kneeling at first as she stared out at her gardens before leaning to the side against the cushions, taking a seat with her legs tucked up under her, her hand resting on her knee as she fell into a daydream.

She wondered if she could really do it all over again? Could she really be a mother again after all these years, at her age? Could she really marry Joseph? She wondered if her country would accept the fact that she might be having a baby with her body guard, and possibly marry him. She wondered if her sons would accept her marrying Joseph and having his baby, she had a lot to think about but just couldn't get focused. Looking down at her tummy, she found herself laughing a little while looking up and out the window once again.

"Heavens, you don't even know if you are yet and your minds already running away with you!" She said more seriously and looked back down at her tummy. "Could I really do this, again, after all this time." She whispered to herself. Sighing she looked back up out the window, just as a knock came to the door.

Turning, letting her legs fall over the edge as she looked towards the door "Come in." She called out and watched as the door slowly opened. Seeing Philippe stood looking across at her she stood to her feet, suddenly coming out of her 'daydream' and back to reality. "Philippe?" She said softly.

"Morning, mother. I just wanted to let you know I was going for a walk, I didn't want you to worry when you couldn't find me." He said, watching as she walked around to him.

"Okay darling, thank you for letting me know." She nodded as she stopped in front of him "How are you this morning? Did you sleep well?" She asked.

"Well I didn't sleep a wink, and I have felt better, mother." He answered.

"Of course, it was a silly question really..." She said while looking away momentarily "I'm sorry." She said looking back up at him.

"It's okay." He said and lent closer, kissing her cheek "I will see you later, alright?" He added and stepped back.

"Of course, please take care." She called after him whilst stepping out into the hallway, watching him walk down towards the stairs. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned her head slightly just as Joseph came to stand beside her.

"Was that Philippe?" He asked, placing his hand on her lower back and kissed her cheek.

"Yes," She nodded while looking at him then turned to look back down the hallway where Philippe just walked. "I hope he will be okay." She said sadly while turning to walk into her suite.

"I'm sure he will be, in time." Joseph said, following her into her suite.

"Yes, in time. I hope." She nodded while sitting down as Joseph closed the door.

After a moments silence, and with sitting down on the coffee table opposite her, Joseph finally spoke "I know we have a lot going on, but I just wondered if you have given any thought to what I said yesterday?" He asked, studying her face as she traced her memory back to yesterday.

"Oh, getting married you mean?" She asked after a moment.

"Yes, getting married." Joseph nodded.

"With everything that is going on, I haven't had a chance... I'm sorry." She said while sitting forward, and looked into his eyes as he took her hands in his "But is it what you really want, to marry me I mean?" She asked and studied his face "Or are you only asking me because I might be pregnant?"

"I can't believe you would say such things, do you really think that?" He said and watched as she looked down at their hands. "I want nothing more than for you to become my wife." He said, watching her "Clarisse I love you, I have done for years and being with you now is such a blessing, I would love to be able to call you my wife." He said softly and watched as she looked up into his eyes.

"You're right, I'm sorry." She nodded a little as he rubbed his thumbs gently over the back of her hands. Seconds later the phone started ringing, causing them both to look over at it momentarily, before Joseph looked back at her and watched as she stood, making her way over to answer the phone.

Moving to sit on the couch, he waited patiently for Clarisse to finish her call. Moments later she hung up and turned back to him. "That was my doctor, she wants me to go and see her at her office." She said, moving to sit beside him.

"When?" He asked.

"Today," She said while looking down at her watch "In an hour and half." She added and looked back up at him.

"That's good, that she can see you so quick." Joseph said, watching her as she nodded and looked down at her hands as she rested them on her knees. "How do you feel about this?"

Slowly she looked up at him "Scared.." She answered and took a deep breath. "Yes I have wanted another child for many years, but could I really do it now? At my age?" She said as Joseph sat forward, putting his arm around her back "I mean, I may not even be pregnant..."

Taking her hand in his, as Clarisse looked up into his eyes "Let's find out first shall we? And in the mean time, please try not to worry."

"And what if I am?" She asked.

"Then we will deal with it when we know for sure, together." He said and kissed the side of her head as she closed her eyes "I love you so so much." He whispered.

"I love you too," She said softly and opened her eyes as Joseph lifted his head back "Will you come with me?" She asked.

"Of course." He nodded, putting his hand up to brush a bit of stray hair back behind her ear before she rested her head on his shoulder.

"How do you feel about it?" She asked a moment later, and raised her head.

"I feel a bit like you," He answered, looking into her eyes. "But I know whatever happens, we will get through it together." He said softly.

"Thank you." She smiled, feeling his hand cup her cheek.

 _Later that morning._

Sitting in her doctors office, Clarisse couldn't help but feel nervous. Feeling a hand on hers, she looked up at Joseph sitting beside her. "It will be okay," He nodded starting to lean closer to kiss her, but quickly sat back as the door opened.

"I'm so sorry about the delay." Her doctor exclaimed as she closed the door and turned just as Joseph removed his hand from Clarisse's. "Right then," She smirked with a shake of her head, walking around to sit at her desk.

"Thank you for seeing me at such short notice." Clarisse said, watching as her doctor sat down and looked at her notes.

"That's perfectly fine, anything for you." She nodded and looked up at them "Now then, what can I do for you?" She asked while looking at Joseph, then towards Clarisse and watched as they looked at each other for several seconds. "Oh come on now, surely you trust me by now?" She added as they both looked back at her "You let me call you by your first name, surely you trust me enough to tell me what's going on?"

"Well I..." Clarisse started and found herself looking down at her lap, not really knowing what to say, or how to put it. She knew she shouldn't, but she suddenly felt embarrassed. Sitting there in her doctors office trying to find the words to explain that she might be pregnant, and the father was the man sat right beside her, her personal body guard. She was sure that her doctor knew what was going on, with him just being there, having never attended any of her appointments with her before. Her mind raced as she put her hand up to her head as the room started to spin.

"Clarisse?" Joseph said softly, while reaching out for her hand.

"Here, have some water." Her doctor said as she lent forward, passing her a glass of water.

"Thank you." Clarisse nodded while taking the glass, drinking it all as Joseph and her doctor watched her.

"Are you ok?" Joseph asked as they both watched her sit forward, placing the now empty glass on the desk in front of them.

"Yes," Clarisse nodded while sitting back.

"Would you like to try again?" Her doctor asked and watched as Clarisse slowly looked up at her.

"I think I... I might be..."

"Pregnant?" Her doctor said and watched as they both looked at her in surprise.

"Yes." Clarisse nodded.

"I thought this was the case..." Her doctor said, giving them a small smile before looking down at her notes. "Now Clarisse, I have been your doctor for a long time."

"Yes you have, you became my doctor when I married Rupert." Clarisse said, starting to relax a bit.

"Well then, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about telling me that." She said while looking back up at her, seeing the look on her face "I can tell, you know." She smiled, trying to reasure her.

"I'm sorry." Clarisse blushed and looked at Joseph.

"I take it, you are the lucky man?" She asked, "Her trusty body guard?" She smiled.

"Indeed." He nodded and looked back at Clarisse.

"Well all I can say is good for you." Her doctor smiled, giving Clarisse a wink as she sat in surprise. "Now then Joseph, I know that you are here to support Clarisse, but I am going to have to ask you to wait outside for a little while so I can do what I need to do." She smiled and stood up, walking over to the patients table at the back of her office.

Looking at Clarisse, he lent closer and kissed her cheek "I will wait outside."

"Thank you." Clarisse said and watched him walk out before taking a deep breath and standing to her feet. Slowly walking over to her doctor a moment later.

A short time later, her doctor stood in the doorway watching Joseph as he paced back and forth outside her office. "Joseph?" She said, giving him a smile as he turned to her "You was miles away, are you ok?" He asked and watched as he nodded "You can come back in now." She said and turned to go back in her office.

Following, Joseph closed the door behind himself before going to sit back down beside Clarisse. "Is everything alright?" He asked, taking Clarisse's hand.

"I think so yes," The doctor nodded, writing some notes down. Looking up several moments later, she rested her arms on the desk in front of her and looked at Joseph for just a few seconds before looking back at Clarisse "You was right... You're going to have a baby."

"I am?" Clarisse said quietly, feeling Joseph squeeze her hand she looked at him before looking back at the doctor.

"From what you have told me, I would say you are about 7 to 8 weeks along. And because of your history and your age, I want to keep a close eye on you." She said, watching Clarisse as she spoke.

"Ok." Clarisse nodded, trying to take everything in.

"I have a few leaflets for you to take away and read." She said, passing them to Joseph.

"Thank you." He said while taking them and sat back, looking at Clarisse.

"Do you have any questions?" She asked, looking between them both as they sat looking at her.

"I can't think of any..." She finally said a moment later.

"Alright, well if you do think of any then please do call me. And call me if you have any problems." She said, watching as Clarisse stood up.

"To have it confirmed is a bit of a shock," She said while slipping on her jacket, turning back to her doctor "I'm sorry are we finished, can I go now?" She asked.

"Yes, of course." Her doctor smiled up at her "Remember, call if you need anything." She smiled and watched as they made their way over to the door.

"Thank you, doctor." Joseph said, walking Clarisse out the door.

Once they were in the car, Joseph turned to Clarisse and watched her staring out the window for several moments before reaching out for her hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"In shock?" He asked and watched as she nodded while looking back at him "It's ok, I understand. I am too." He said, giving her hand a little squeeze.

"What am I..." Shaking her head a little "How am I going to tell Philippe?" She asked, looking back out the window.

"We can tell him together, if you like?" He asked, watching as she looked down. "Or, maybe it might be better coming from me?" He asked and watched as she quickly looked up at him. "Man to man?"

"No, I need to talk to him." She said and looked back out the window "It needs to come from me."

"Ok." Joseph said, watching her a moment more before starting the car and driving them back to the Palace.

Arriving home a short drive later, Clarisse got out the car and noticed both Pierre and Philippe walking back towards the Palace.

"Go on in," Clarisse said while looking at Joseph as he walked around to her "I will go and talk to them both while they are together." She said, looking back over at her sons.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked and watched as she looked back at him.

"No, I need to do it alone." She said and watched as he nodded.

"I'm here if you need me." He said as she reached up to kiss his cheek, then watched her walk away towards her boys. Nodding to himself he headed in to give them some privacy.

Hearing a knock on his suite door a short time later, he walked over to answer it to find Clarisse stood standing there.

"You didn't have to knock, you know?" He said while stepping back, letting her pass "How did it go?" He asked and closed the door.

"I didn't tell him, I couldn't..." She said, turning back to him.

"Maybe we should tell him together?" He asked while walking over to her and placed his hands on the tops of her arms.

"Maybe." She said sadly as he kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes "This couldn't happen at a worse time, could it?" She asked as he ran his hands down her arms, taking hold of her hands.

"We will do it together, he will be upset for a while but I am sure he will soon come around to the idea. And it's best to tell him sooner, rather than later." Joseph said, looking into her eyes.

"I know." She nodded "He will hate me if I kept it from him."

"He won't hate you." He said softly and let go of her hands, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. "It will be okay." He whispered and kissed the side of her head as she closed her eyes.

 _Later that evening._

Sitting on the couch, leaning against the arm rest where Joseph sat. His hand on Clarisse's shoulder, both of them looking at Pierre and Philippe as they sat looking back at them.

"Thank you both for coming, Joseph and I need to talk to you about something important." Clarisse said, looking up at Joseph quickly before looking back at her boys.

"Are you going to tell us that you're getting married?" Philippe asked, looking between his mother and Joseph.

"No, it's not that." Clarisse said while shaking her head.

"It will be amazing news if you are, I want you to be happy and I know that Joseph makes you happy." Philippe said "You deserve that."

"Yes he does, and I am very happy... but we aren't getting married." Clarisse said, watching him.

"Then what is it?" Philippe asked, studying her face.

"I know that this isn't the best timing, with everything that's going on... I did think about waiting to tell you, but..." She stopped while looking down.

"We wanted to tell you sooner, rather than later." Joseph finished, gently rubbing Clarisse's back as she looked back up.

"Yes, exactly." She nodded.

"Oh."

Looking down, Clarisse took a deep breath and looked back up at them "I'm going to have a baby."

"You are?" Pierre exclaimed, sort of already knowing.

"Yes, I am." She said looking at him then at Philippe as he stood up "Philippe?" She said softly, watching as he walked over to the french doors. "I know you are going through a lot, but I didn't want to keep this from you." She said slowly walking over to him as he remained looking out the windows.

After several moments he turned to her, looking at her before looking up at Pierre and Joseph as they both stood looking over at them. "Can you leave us for a moment, please?" He asked.

"Of course." Pierre nodded, and looked at Joseph.

Looking down at his mother as they left, closing the door behind them. "Are you really pregnant?" He asked.

Slowly she nodded, looking deep into his eyes "I am, it was confirmed today." She nodded again "I'm about 7 or 8 weeks along." She said softly.

"I see." He nodded and looked away.

"Philippe?" Clarisse said softly a moment later while stepping closer to him.

"What if what happened before happens again?" He asked, looking down into her eyes "I don't want to see you hurt again, mother."

"If it does, then it does.." She said while reaching up, framing his face with her hands "I have you, Pierre, Joseph and father here to support me.. I do have you, don't I?" She asked.

Nodding "Of course you do, you will always have me to support you." He said and wrapped his arms around her. "Will you and Joseph get married some day?" He asked.

"He did ask me, but I couldn't answer yet." She said while looking up at him.

"Well I think you should say yes, he loves you, he really cares about you.. you nearly lost him once, don't lose him again." He said.

"Thank you, darling."

"I'm really happy for you both, I really am." He said while giving her a hug, and stepped back with a smile.

"You're smiling?" She said, tilting her head slightly as he nodded "That's the first time I've seen you smile since before leaving the hospital." She said softly.

"I know," He nodded "I know it's going to be hard for a while, but you've just told me some amazing news and I really couldn't be happier for you."

"You mean that?" She asked.

"I do, I really do." He said and gave her a hug. "Would you mind if I went to visit with some friends?" He asked.

Shaking her head, she looked at him "You don't have to ask me, just make sure you stay safe though, please?"

"I will, and please don't worry. I am ok with the news." He smiled as she reached up, cupping his face. "And it will take time, but I'll be ok."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"I am." He nodded and kissed her cheek. "See you tomorrow, mother."

"Yes you will." She said and watched him leave, and Joseph enter a moment later.

"Is he okay?" He asked, making his way over to her. "How did he take it?"

"Well I think, he even smiled. First time since leaving the hospital." She answered.

"Thats good then." He smiled, stepping closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked.

"Of course you can." He smiled down at her.

Wrapping her arms around his waist "Did you mean what you said earlier?" She asked while looking up into his eyes. "Being with me is a blessing?" She said, reminding him.

"Yes I did, I meant every word." He nodded and put his arm behind his back, taking hold of her wedding hand. "I would be honored to call you my wife." He said softly while bringing her hand up to his face, kissing her fingers as she watched him. "You don't have to answer me right away," He said gently running his thumb over the wedding ring that Rupert had given her "I know you have a lot to think about..." Stopping as Clarisse shook her head "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Ask me." She said, looking up into his eyes momentarily before glancing down at his lips. "Go on, ask me." She said again and watched as he smiled.

Stepping back, he cleared his throat while kneeling down in front of her. Keeping hold of her hand as she watched "Clarisse Marie Renaldi, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He asked, their eyes locked together.

Nodding "Yes, I would." She smiled and watched as he quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a kiss as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"I love you so much." He whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

Standing in his embrace, she put her hands up to frame his face "And I love you too." She smiled and reached up to kiss him back.


	18. The Genovian Law

_Thank you everyone for reading and leaving reviews, you really are the best :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 18: The Genovian Law.**

Several weeks later.

Today is Clarisse's first day back to Royal duties after sadly losing her and Joseph's baby 4 weeks ago. It's been a rough few months, with everything that has been going on of late, Clarisse finally felt strong enough to get back into it.

After awaking, having breakfast and getting ready Clarisse sat at her dressing table to apply her make up. Opening the mascara she rubbed the applicator on the inside rim of the tube before raising her arm to apply it a moment later. Only, when she looked at herself in the mirror she paused and slowly lowered her arm, putting the stick back in the tube as she did. Looking back up she stared at herself for several seconds before lowering her gaze down to her wedding hand, looking at the wedding ring Rupert had given her all those years eariler before standing and walking over to her bedside table.

Pulling out the small red velvet box that holds the diamond ring Joseph had bought her after he proposed, opening it she stared down at it, losing herself to thought. Hearing her suite door close a few moments later she quickly closed the box and put it back where she had just taken it from. Walking back over to her dressing table, she sat down and repeated what she had done just moments ago with the mascara tube. Managing to apply it this time as Joseph appeared in the doorway of her bedroom.

"Well good morning, beautiful." He smiled upon seeing her sat at her dressing table "I wondered if you would be up." He added as he made his way over to stand behind her.

"Of course I'm up, I am returning back to duty today. Remember?" She asked while looking at him in the mirror before looking down at the mascara in her hand.

"I know." He nodded while putting his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head "Are you sure that you are ready to return? It's been a hard few weeks after all."

"Of course I am ready, if I weren't I wouldn't be returning." She said pulling the applicator out, rubbing it along the rim once again before applying it to the lashes of her other eye as Joseph watched.

"Okay. I'm just worried about you, I'm sorry." He said and started walking out into the suite as Clarisse watched in the mirror.

Slumping in her chair, she put the applicator back in the tube and screwed it shut before putting the mascara back on her dressing table. Standing, she grabbed her scarf and made her way through to the suite after him. Walking over she stood beside the armchair, straightening her scarf out before putting her arms up, wrapping it around the back of her neck and letting it hang down over her chest before looking at Joseph as he sat down on the couch.

"I can't stay and talk now, but listen.. I know that you are worried, and I'm sorry for snapping and sounding so rude." She started "I know we've been through a lot this last few weeks, but I am ready to go back.. I need to get back to it, as the longer I leave it.."

"The harder it will be..." Joseph finished and watched as Clarisse slowly nodded.

"Exactly." She said and watched as he sat forward, resting his arms on his legs as he clasped his hands together.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He said and shook his head a little before looking up at her. "I should know that you are ready, like you said if you weren't then you wouldn't be doing it." He added while looking into her eyes, before watching her look down.

"I have to go." She started while looking back up at him "How about we have lunch together?" She asked.

Watching her momentarily before nodding "I would like that."

"Great." She said, giving him a small smile "Come to my office about half past twelve and we will go for a lovely lunch together."

"Ok," He nodded "I will see you then." He smiled and watched as she gave him a small smile in return before walking out.

Heading downstairs Clarisse grabbed some tea before going to her office, and as soon as she walked through the door, the hustle and bustle of paperwork, calls and trying to sort out a few meetings with Parliament to catch up on everything started. And before she knew it, Joseph was stood in her office doorway, watching her speaking with Charlotte.

Seeing him stood there, smiling across at her she gasped "It's not that time already, is it?" She asked, checking the time. "My goodness, where has the time gone?"

"At least it went fast for someone, to me it went very slow." Joseph said, walking over to her desk.

"Let me just finish off, and I will be with you." Clarisse said and watched as he nodded.

"Of course, take your time." He said, watching her put a file on her desk and opened it.

Signing the papers, she stood up straight and looked at Charlotte "Thank you, Charlotte." She said, handing her the file back.

"I will deal with this straight away," Charlotte smiled putting it with her other papers "Do you need anything else, Your Majesty?" She asked and watched as Clarisse looked around her desk.

Shaking her head she looked back at her assistant "No not right now, now is lunch time and I think we both deserve this break." She smiled at the young woman "Thank you for everything this morning, that will be all for now."

"You're welcome, Your Majesty." Charlotte smiled and left them to it.

Moving to stand in front of Clarisse's desk, Joseph watched her as she slipped of her glasses and placed them down on her desk. "Are you ready?" He asked and watched as she looked up at him.

"Actually, can we take a rain check?" She asked, motioning towards her desk "I still have so much to do, and catch up on."

"But you need to eat?"

"I can grab a sandwich to eat here, while I try to catch up." Clarisse answered "I've done it plenty of times before."

"I thought we were going to have lunch together, spend some time together?" Joseph asked, resting his hands on the back of one of the chairs.

"I know, I'm sorry..." Clarisse answered with a small shrug "I have..."

"Yes I know, you have loads to do." He nodded slightly, looking into her eyes "Well I won't take up anymore of your time." He said and walked out, closing the door behind him as Clarisse sighed.

Grabbing a quick bite to eat, Clarisse returned to her office. Whilst eating, she set about trying to catch up on everything but couldn't get her head around the idea. Giving up, she headed of for a walk around the palace grounds instead.

Upon her return she was called to an emergency meeting with Parliament.

 **Later That Evening.**

Sitting at the dinner table in her suite, Clarisse stared down at the red velvet box she had placed in front of her on the table when someone walked through the door, causing her to look up at them.

"Joseph?" She said, seeing him with a red rose bouquet.

After closing the door, Joseph turned to her "I thought you might like them." He said and walked over to her, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you," She said, taking them from him and watched as he moved to sit down opposite her at the table.

"I'm sorry I walked out the way I did earlier, I was just..." He paused after seeing that she had pushed her food away, and that the red velvet box had taken its place. Looking up at her "What's going on?" He asked and watched as she slowly looked up at him.

"We need to talk." She said, placing the flowers down on the table and slowly looked back at him.

"Alright," He said and nodded a little.

"I was called to a meeting with Parliament this afternoon." She started, and watched as he placed his hands on the table in front of him.

"Right... and what did they say." He asked.

"They were sympathetic for our loss, and though they are happy that we are together, they reminded me of something." She said, followed with a sigh.

"And what's that?" He asked, watching her look away towards the windows.

"That Genovian law states that a Queen can not marry a divorcee." She said softly, diverting her gaze across to him.

"What?" He exclaimed as she turned her head, looking down at her lap.

"We can't get married." She said softly, slowly looking up.

"So you're going to put the throne and your country before your own happiness?" He asked, standing to his feet.

"Yes," She nodded "Need I remind you that I am continuing all this for my sons future's?" She said, watching him as he began pacing the room. "Please understand." She said softly.

"But you deserve to be happy too!" He exclaimed, while turning to face her.

"Please don't..." Clarisse said sadly with a shake of her head "I want to be happy, I long to be happy... but I need to do this, it's my sons destiny. I know that once Philippe becomes King, I can think about settling down. But right now my focus and my life needs to be on this and nothing else."

"But until then you're just going to throw everything away, just like that?" He asked and watched as she looked back down at her hands resting on her lap.

"Yes," She nodded and looked back up at him as he moved to sit down opposite her again. "Joseph, I'm so sorry."

"You said that they reminded you?" He asked, looking at her.

"Yes." She nodded.

"So why did you carry on with me like that? Why did you ask me to ask you to marry you?" He asked, staring across at her. "When all this time you knew that we couldn't get married while you were Queen!"

"It's a years old law, one that was told to me before Rupert and I married..." She began to answer.

"Why did you carry on with me?" He asked. "Did you do it to use me?"

"No!" Clarisse exclaimed "I loved you Joseph, I wanted to be with you..." She softly said and looked back down "I got caught up in the moment..." She whispered and looked back up at him. "I have loved you for years, that will never change... it's just,"

"We can't be together right now?" He asked, and watched as she nodded. "I see." Leaning forward he rested his elbows on his legs, clasping his hands together. "And the baby, our baby?"

"Was made with love, I wanted so much to give you a baby..." She said and closed her eyes, shutting out the stray tears while trying to compose herself. "Maybe you should..." She began a moment later while opening her eyes, only stopping when Joseph interrupted.

"Please don't!" He exclaimed, taking her by surprise "How many times have I told you that I don't want to be with anyone else, it's you I want to be with, it's you I love! Always have and I always will!"

Looking down at her hands, trying to find the right words while trying to compose herself as Joseph stood to his feet, pacing the room once again. "Find someone that can give you what you want, Joseph.." She started while looking over at him "I can't give that to you, or marriage." She said as he quickly looked over at her "I can't commit, not now and maybe never." She said while grabbing the box, opening it to view the ring as Joseph watched her "I have a duty to my country, to my boys. As I said, maybe when Philippe take's over I can think about all that, but I can't now." She said sadly.

"I will wait for you," He said and walked back over to her as she watched "Please don't throw us away, not after everything we've been through." He said sadly while kneeling in front of her, taking hold of her free hand "Let me wait for you, please?" He asked and watched as she shook her head.

"I can't do that," She whispered "I feel guilty Joseph..." Looking into his eyes, as he reached up to cup her cheek, wiping away her tears. "I'm so sorry."

Nodding, he looked down while standing to his feet "I understand, I guess." He nodded again "I love you so much, Clarisse... please remember that." He said sadly and walked through to the bedroom.

Clarisse sat in silence, not sure what Joseph was actually doing. Hearing a knock come to her door, she stood up and walked over to get it, wiping away her tears and trying to compose herself as best she could.

Seeing the door open, Philippe looked up to see his mother had been crying "Mother, are you okay?" He asked quickly standing forward and hugged her just as Joseph appeared in the bedroom doorway holding a travel bag in his hand "What's going on?" He asked looking at him, then at Clarisse as she closed the door and looked across at Joseph. "Mother?" He asked, looking back at her as she slowly looked up at him "Tell me what's going on."

"Joseph's leaving." She finally answered.

"What?" He exclaimed, looking at Joseph then back at his mother.

Seeing him begin to turn, Clarisse knew exactly what he was going to do so quickly stepped forward and grabbed hold of his arm just as he was about to go for Joseph "Philippe, NO!" She exclaimed as Joseph dropped his bag. "It's my decision."

"What?" Philippe said, while looking back at her. "Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to commit, and that I can't give him what he really wants." She said sadly, looking at Joseph "I don't think it's fair I let him stay, when he can go find someone else."

"Tell him the other reason, Clarisse." Joseph said, picking up his bag.

"What other reason?" Philippe asked, looking back at his mother.

"Genovian state law forbids a Queen to marry a divorcee." She said, never taking her eyes from Joseph.

"I told your mother that I want to stay and wait for her, but she won't allow it." Joseph said, never taking his eyes from Clarisse. "So I guess this is it."

"Mother? He want's to wait for you. Why won't you let him?" Philippe said, confused and shook his head "I really don't understand."

"Neither do I." Joseph answered, looking across at Philippe. "I have to go."

"Wait.." walking over to the dinner table, Clarisse picked up the red velvet box as Joseph and Philippe watched. Walking over, she looked up into Joseph's eyes and held out the box for him "I'm sorry." She whispered, tears escaping her eyes.

Taking it, he looked down at it for a moment before looking back up at her "So this is it?" He asked, and watched as she walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Opening the box, he looked down at the ring momentarily before walking over to the door. Placing the box down on the table beside the door, he looked over at Philippe. No words were spoken as they stared at each other for a few seconds, then Philippe watched as Joseph walked out, closing the door behind him.


	19. It's To Late

_Hi everyone, even though the reviews aren't showing up, I still wanted to let you know that I did get them and I thank you all so much for them and for reading. :)_

 **xXxXx**

 **Chapter 19: It's To Late.**

The following morning.

After a sleepless night, Clarisse pulled herself from the comfort of her bed to begin getting ready for her day. Only as she was walking through to her closet, her phone began ringing. Turning back, she walked over to answer it. And that's where she stayed for the next hour, talking with Pierre.

"Mother, are you still here?" Philippe called from the suite a while later.

"Yes, I will be there in a moment." She called back.

"Ok." He answered and began walking around her suite. Stopping by the fireplace, he studied the photos on the mantel. Reaching out he took hold of one of his mother and Joseph from Christmas Day. A happy day he remembered.

Stepping into the bedroom doorway, Clarisse watched as Philippe chuckled a little at the memory before putting the photo back down where he got it from. "Philippe?" She said softly and watched as he turned to her. "What can I do for you?" She asked, making her way over to her desk.

"Have you heard from Pierre yet?" He asked, watching her sit down and slip on her glasses.

"I have," She said and turned to him "Why did you tell him for?"

"What do you mean why did I tell him for? He would have found out sooner or later, mother." He said in surprise and watched as she turned back to her desk "And I know that you wouldn't of told him." He said, watching her as she busied herself with her mail. "I talked to Joseph last night," He began and watched as Clarisse stopped what she was doing and slumped back a little. "He's leaving Genovia this evening." He added.

"Well next time you speak to him, be sure to tell him I wish him the best of luck." She said while sitting back up straight, continuing with her post.

Shaking his head, he made his way over to her "Is that it? Is that how you are going to be over this? After everything you have both been through?" He exclaimed and watched as she looked up at him in surprise "Mother, he loves you.. he's a broken man, last night he actually cried on the phone."

"How dare..." Clarisse began until Philippe interrupted.

"No, let me finish! Mother, he's perfect for you and he's willing to wait for you... why would you deny him that? He made you so happy, I just don't understand." He said, making his way over to the photo again and pointed to it while looking back at her. "Just look at both of your smiles? That was taken on Christmas Day, that was a fun day. It was your first together as a couple, and the first Christmas you actually smiled since father passed away." He said sadly while looking back at the photo and lowered his arm.

"Philippe?" Clarisse said softly and watched as he looked back at her.

"No, let me finish... please?" He asked, looking back at the photo for just a moment then back at his mother as she nodded. "It was a special day for all of us, even the food fight that he started made my day." Smiling he glanced back at the photo before looking back over at his mother as she rested her hands on her legs, looking down. "Hearing you laugh like that was so amazing, I actually cried that night because it made me so happy to hear you laughing again." He nodded as Clarisse looked back up at him "And yes I know he made you laugh a lot before that day, but it was on Christmas... it was so special."

"Those days are gone, Philippe." She said quietly and watched as he walked over to her.

"Are you really going to let him go?" He asked, and watched as she looked up at him "You've been through so much, you recently lost..."

"Philippe.." Clarisse interrupted with a shake of her head.

"Sorry," He whispered and watched as she looked back down. "I know that you will be miserable, don't let him go. Who cares about the stupid law?"

"I do." She exclaimed, looking up at him "I promised your father that if anything did happen to him, then I would continue the crown until Pierre was ready to take over, and obviously now he doesn't want to be King so it falls onto you."

"I know, and I gladly accept but is it really worth losing him over?" He asked and watched as she shook her head a little while looking back down. "You need to put yourself first." He added while taking the red velvet box from his pocket and opened it. "Don't make the same mistake twice, mother." He said while looking at the ring before looking at the desk in front of his mother, placing the box down in front of her.

Staring at it momentarily before looking up at him "I can't let your father down." She said and watched as he placed abit of paper down beside the box.

"I have authorised him the use of Genovia one for tonight, I told the pilot to take him wherever he wished." He said and watched as she picked up the piece of paper "His flight will be leaving at six mother, and both me and Pierre agree that you shouldn't make the same mistake again." He said, walking over to the door as she slumped back in the chair. "He's a good man, mother. And he loves you so much."

Looking over, she watched as he opened the door and looked over at her "I know." She nodded slightly and watched as he walked out, closing the door behind himself. Looking back at the paper in her hands with a sigh before putting it back down on the desk beside the ring box, which she picked up a moment later.

 **Later That Day.**

After staying in her suite all day, Clarisse finally emerged but only to attend a Parliament meeting. Gathering her papers with Charlotte, they made their way to the meeting room with Charlotte giving her a quick update. Walking through the door and seeing all the members of Parliament sat looking at her, she stopped. Slowly making her way over to take her seat, a moment later.

"Good evening, Your Majesty." Said the Prime Minister.

"Good evening," She said looking at him then around at everyone else. "I have one request?" She asked, looking back at the Prime Minister and watched as he nodded "Can we make this quick? I have a very bad headache that I can't shift."

"Of course," The Prime Minister nodded and looked down at his notes.

Hearing him speak, Clarisse closed her eyes. Trying to take everything in, but was unable too. Opening her eyes a moment later she checked the time, when something inside of her snapped. "What am I doing?" She asked herself, causing everyone else to look at her. "I'm sorry..." She began while standing to her feet.

"Your Majesty." Exclaimed the Prime Minister.

"I have to go..." She answered and walked out the door, taking Charlotte who was sat down by the door waiting for her by surprise. "Charlotte can you find Philippe for me, tell him to meet me in the foyer please?" She asked, hurrying away before the young assistant had a chance to answer.

After fetching her coat, she returned to the foyer to find Philippe waiting. "Mother?" He said, watching her hurry down the stairs.

"Can you drive me to the airport?" She asked, walking over to him.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Let's go, we should be able to make it in time." He said hurrying towards the door with her.

Leaving the Palace just moments later they drove as fast as they could to the airport, only as they were driving along the road leading to the main entrance, Philippe noticed the plane queuing to take off.

"Is that the plane?" He asked, pointing towards it before looking back at the road.

Looking out towards where he was pointing, Clarisse's heart sank. "Yes." She nodded and looked down. "You may as well pull over."

"What? Are you nuts, we could still make it." He said glancing at her before looking back at the road.

"It's to late, please just pull over." She said slowly looking up out the window at the plane as it began moving forward.

And a moment later, Philippe managed to pull over and stopped the car. Grabbing the umbrella, Clarisse opened the door and slowly stepped out while putting her umbrella up. Stepping forward she watched as the plane sped up, taking off seconds later.

Standing beside his mother, Philippe watched the plane taking off. "I'm sorry, mother." He said softly, looking at her as she looked down.

"Yes, so am I." She said sadly while looking down. "Can you take me home now, please." She asked while getting back in the car.

"Of course." He answered as she closed the door. Looking up into the sky, he couldn't believe that they had just missed him. Walking around, he climbed in the car and looked at his mother as she sat staring out the windows blankly.


	20. I'll Stand By You

**Chapter 20: I'll Stand By You..**

Easter Sunday.

Normally Queen Clarisse would be getting ready to attend a special Easter mass at the local Church about now, but today the outfit that was picked out to wear hung in her closet untouched, chosing to wear black instead. Sitting quietly at her dressing table in her bedroom she could hear Pierre talking on the phone in her suite. He had arrived a couple hours ago, after getting a call from Charlotte, bearing bad news. Clarisse couldn't make out who he was talking to, she tried to focus but couldn't, at this point in time she didn't actually care. She felt it in her, she just didn't care anymore.

Last night there had been a bad storm, a terrible accident and a horrible knock on the door. The storm had claimed the life of her younger son, her baby, Philippe. She had sat numb all night, a mix of emotions running through her as she tried to take it all in. Even when Pierre arrived she couldn't acknowledge him, not properly. She wondered if it was simply a horrible nightmare, but feeling the warmth of her tears as they rolled down her cheeks she knew it wasn't a dream after all, no matter how much she wished it was.

Standing in the doorway leading into the bedroom Pierre watched as she sat slumped at her dressing table. "That was Helen, mother." He said softly and watched as she turned her head slightly. "She sends her condolences." He added and watched as she looked back towards the windows. Hearing a knock on the suite door he turned his head briefly before looking back over at her, seeing she was now looking down he turned slowly, making his way over and answered the door to see Joseph stood there.

"I came as soon as I heard," He said while stepping inside the suite.

Closing the door, Pierre turned back to him "Thank you." He said, watching as he slipped of his coat and turned back to him.

"Where is she?" He asked, hanging up his coat and watched as he pointed towards her bedroom. Looking over at the door for several seconds before shifting his gaze back to Pierre "May I?" He asked.

"Of course," Nodding he watched as he walked over to the door.

Seeing her sat at her dressing table, his heart broke. He hated himself for staying away so long, and knew he should of returned a long time ago. "Clarisse?" He said softly and watched as she raised her head.

The sound of his voice rang in her ears, did she really just hear him call her name? Surely he wouldn't be here, not after all this time. Believing her mind was playing tricks on her, due to lack of sleep, she slowly turned her head to find him stood by her door. "Joseph?" She whispered as she rose to her feet. "Are you really here?" She asked, beginning to cry as he hurried over and wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes, I'm here." He whispered as she cried on his chest, clinging to him as Pierre stood at the door. A few tears pricked his eyes as he stepped back, closing the door to give them some time alone, knowing it's what his mother needed.

It's been 10 whole years since Clarisse stood watching as Genovia One took of with Joseph on board. She has seen him once or twice since then, even talked on the phone several times but he never returned, until now.

 **Later That Morning.**

Brushing her hair back, Joseph watched as she lay sleeping on the bed beside him. They had talked a bit before she fell to sleep, for the first time since yesterday morning he guessed and knowing that she needed this, he decided to leave her to get some rest. Climbing from the bed he made his way over to the door, sneaking out as quietly as he could, as not to wake her. Once the door was closed, he turned and made his way over to Pierre who sat watching the news.

 _"And as of right now, we have no official word from the Genovian Palace. Only that the Genovia flag flies at half mast. It was lowered shortly after the tragic news broke."_

Turning off the television, Pierre watched as Joseph sat down. "How is she?" He asked, putting the remote control on the coffee table.

"She's sleeping." He said, looking over at him. "How are you?" He asked and watched as he looked down.

"I feel as if it's all a dream." He finally said a moment later and looked up at him. "And that he's going to walk through that door at any moment." He said and looked away "Are you going to stay, or are you going to leave again?" He asked, looking back at Joseph.

"I'm going to stay, if your mother allows." He answered and watched as Pierre nodded slightly while resting his elbow on the arm rest and rested his head on his hand.

"Do you know that she went to the airport the night you left? She wanted to stop you but she was too late." Pierre said moments later and watched as Joseph looked back at him. "She stood in the rain watching the plane take off. Her heart broke that night." He added and watched as Joseph looked down, closing his eyes. "She loved you Joseph, she wanted so much to be with you... but couldn't."

"Do you not think I know that? I regret leaving that day? And yes I could of come back, but knowing that she didn't want me here, well that I thought she didn't want me here... I couldn't." Joseph said, watching as Pierre looked up at him. "I will never forgive myself for leaving." He said, watching as Pierre looked back down. "Or for not coming back sooner."

After a few moments Pierre looked back up at him "Did you ever find anyone else?" He asked and watched as Joseph shook his head.

"Never. I didn't want to be with anyone else but your mother." He answered quietly "I regret leaving that day so much, and wish I could turn the clocks back. But with your mothers blessing, this time I will stay and won't ever leave again."

"Really?" Came a voice from behind them, causing both Joseph and Pierre to turn back to look. "Do you really mean that?" She asked.

Standing to their feet, Pierre watched as Joseph made his way over to Clarisse as she stood in the doorway. "Yes I do, with your blessing I will stay for good. But only if you want me to, if you say that you don't want me here then I will leave." He said, looking into her eyes. "I'll stand by you, albeit in the shadows. If you'll let me." He whispered.

Looking down momentarily, trying to find the right words. "I would like that." Clarisse whispered, looking back up into his eyes and watched as he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest. "Thank you for coming back."

Joseph gave her a little squeeze in answer, just holding her close as Pierre left them alone once again.

And that afternoon, with Joseph by her side, Clarisse made the announcement her country was dreading, but knew it was coming. Prince Philippe, future King of Genovia was dead. And with Helen's blessing, she also informed her country that she would continue to Rule until her Granddaughter, who the country knew nothing about became of age to take over the throne.

The following week they buried Philippe beside his father. Pierre and Joseph spoke about him, both sharing fond memories and giving honour to him as they laid him to rest. And later, when they returned to the Palace, Clarisse spoke with Helen. They both agreed that Amelia should carry on with school, then they will sit down and tell her who she actually is when she was a bit older to understand.

And eventually, with Joseph remaining by her side, Clarisse continued her Royal duties. Over the months things slowly started to return back to normal, with Philippe never far from all their minds.

The End.

 **xXxXx**

 _A/N: I had planned on another chapter or two, but I think this is the perfect way to end it right there. I want you all to know that all you lovely people who read this story, or any of my stories, add any of them to your faves or follow lists, those who add my profile to your faves/follows and those who leave me wonderfully amazing reviews is all very much appreciated and always will be._

 _Thank you all so much :) x_


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